David Ignatow

Issue 72, Winter 1977

“I Saw A Leaf... ”

I saw a leaf flying in the opposite direction from the ground but there was no wind. Now how could that be, I asked myself. It was a dead leaf, shriveled and brittle looking, one of the many hundreds that were dropping to the ground all around me from off the trees in the woods beside my house. Puzzled for an explanation, thinking perhaps an updraft had caught the leaf and sailed it into the sky, I watched it grow smaller and smaller to the eye, and soon I could not make it out at all. I shrugged and entered my house and closed the door be-hind me. I could imagine the house beginning to take off too and I sat down as if to pin it to the ground, and as I seated myself there was a short tapping on the door. I was expecting company. I approached and opened the door. A single leaf lay on the doorstep at my feet.

The Conversation

I am the chair he sits on at the desk to type his poems and letters and comments to himself and others, a strange man. He can fart while typing the most soulful lines and stink me up. I’’m used to it, and anyway what can I do to stop him or protest? I creak, I bend, I roll from beneath him and promptly he jerks me forward toward the desk, a stern taskmaster he is.

What I’ d like to do is to write my own poems about him but there I sit in front of the desk and typewriter in his absence and simply contemplate the idea. My two arms rest at my side and refuse to move upwards to the keys, but what would I write about except about being a chair, previously the side of a tree trunk? but I should take that as an omen of some good since he does find me of value, yet think of what will happen to me when I’ m used up, worn out and falling apart. Well, what do you think will happen to him when he becomes too old to type? So we have something in common, don’ t we?

Oh, I do.

In The Sunlight

I hold a pair of scissors over my head and open and close the blades to cut off the air from its source. I lower the scissors to the ground and snap at the surface to punish it for its errors, such as grass, trees, flowers and fruits. I turn the scissors point towards myself and snap the blades open and shut at my nose, my eyes, my mouth, my ears. I have to be angry at my-self too who lives off earth and air.

Why is there hurt and sorrow? Scissors, cut them off from me. Scissors, whose fine steel gleams in the sunlight like a most joyful smile, why am I not like you, instead, since I must give pain? I do not want to feel it in others. I do not want to feel it in myself. I do not want to be man, cutting through grass and flesh in the sunlight.

I Am Plastering Myself

I am plastering myself into the wall of an apartment house. I want to secure myself against any further wandering or misuse of myself. As a part of the wall of a new apartment house I can rest assured of serving the cause of shelter and other humane considerations. It will be a pleasure to listen to the sounds of music and talk piercing the wall on a pleasant night or day. I also can listen in on some heavy problems and, of course, those intimate pleasures reserved only for couples in the privacy of their bedrooms. Am I plastering myself into the wall for that purpose, really? Then I will live a long and exciting life, simply by standing upright.

Now I wonder whether I should invite a companion to stay with me, a woman I could trust who would enjoy my pleasures and approve. Together we could listen in on others while ourselves remaining secreted. I hurry the job of plastering myself in, not waiting to call or write to the woman of my choice. She will know easily enough, I believe, what I want of her when she hears what I have done and will simply do the same, a few bricks above or below me. It really doesn’t matter. I’m indifferent as to where, just so long as we stand together in the same wall.

“Why Can’t I Be...”

Why can’t I be an empty house falling into decay, unaware of myself? Why can’t I be the sky empty or the river flowing into the sea senselessly or an empty plate or knife or fork, whatever is but does not feel itself? If I were the grass that covers the graves I could forget being human. I want it taken away. The sun is sparkling on the waters. Why should I not be the sparkle rather than the eyes that show me the difference in myself. Shine upon me, sun, so that I become lit up like a sunbeam.

“I Came Upon The Poem...”

I came upon the poem the way the hunter discovers the animal in the bush, with shock. I leveled my sights and was about to shoot it when it spoke. “I’m here to be discovered. Place a leash around my neck and we’ll travel together to your house.” I lowered my weapon, amazed. The animal stepped out from its hiding and stood in front of me, waiting for me to recover. We then walked back to my house where I sprawled in my chair, unbelieving, the animal lying at my feet and looking up at me, not with adoration or servility but as an observer of another world than its own.

I thought, if I should tell others about it they would think me touched. So I decided that when they came to visit me or I them I would have this animal at my side. It might ask for food or leave to do its toilet, an creature in disbelief, then back at me, finally to burst out. Was that speech they had heard from this animal at my feet? I’d have to nod solemnly, very much amused. Yes, speech, and the rest of the evening would go by in an uproar of excitement, delight, fear, delight, fear.

“I Wonder Whether Two Trees...”

I wonder whether two trees standing side by side really need each other. How then did they spring up so close to one another? Look how their branches touch and sway in each other’s path. Notice how at the very top, though, they keep the space between them clear, which is to say that each still does his or her thinking and there is the sun that warms them together.

Do their roots entangle with one another down there? Do they compete for nourishment in that fixed space they have to share between them, and if so, is it reflected in their stance towards one another, both standing pretty straight and tall. touching only with their branches. Neither tree leans towards or away from the other. I could be a social device to keep decorum between them in public. Perhaps their culture requires it and perhaps also this touching of branches to further deceive their friends and associates as to the relationship between them, while what goes on beneath the surface is dreadful, indeed, roots gnarled and twisted or cut off from their sources by the other and shrunken into lifelessness, with other roots flung out desperately in a direction from the entanglement, seeking their own private independent sources. As they stand together, they present to the eye a picture of benign harmony, and that may be so in that both are dedicated to the life they lead.

The Explorer

I have this mountain to climb
and no one to stop me,
this dangerous mountain
of glaciers and gaunt cliffs,
and I will climb it for the sake
of the living. Climb, then,
they call out, and die.
Climb, then, I answer softly,
and live.
I am about to begin.