His intentions remained secret
Among the vociferous others who posted
Imprecations in the church’s chat room, drawing
Others with similar regrets.
Would he fold the purple shroud
With clean corners, like a flag, and walk,
Flanked by his handsome and large, a Catholic,
Family bearing baskets of money
Down the aisle, a new man.
From the altar to Mary on the side he could see
How the spindly tree painted between the pedestals
Was cut in half. Winter on the right, as if
It had been punished
, on the left was spring
Unless you were inside the sacra conversazione
And then it was reversed.

Because it would not grow. “How come Lucy—
That’s what I’m going to call my daughter”—
His daughter had asked on the way to Mass—
“Sounds like Lucifer? Isn’t he the devil and
Isn’t she a saint?” Because he fell, he told her,
From where he started, lux, lucis,
The root of both is light. He dwelled there
And lived in defiance of his nature and that’s
What it means to be cast down. Last night
He’d dreamed the one that they called Father Skip
Lay next to him again. In sleep, feigning sleep,
Dreaming the usual ruins then finding he could fly
Above the catacombs’ confusion of tunnels,