variation on a theme by Czeslaw Milosz

I should have pocketed the key left in the front door of the
Embassy and used it to discover the fate of the Lost Tribes,
sneaking in late one night to read the minutes from their last
meeting.

I should have worn gloves to the Inauguration Ball, where I
was criticized for my attire—my hair shirt and sandals, helmet
and scabbard.

I should not have kissed the famous chef on both cheeks,
praising him for the delicacy with which he fricasseed the
entrails of my enemies, nor should I have ordered my father
to dump the punch bowl over the archbishop’s head,
prompting a mass conversion among movie stars and the
media.

I should have insisted that the Minister of Sport amnesty the
deserters on their way to Istanbul, instead of allowing him to
execute the soldiers who had boarded up the doors and
windows of my favorite brothel.

I should not have copied the cuckoo’s example, refusing to
build my own house, tricking others into raising my offspring.
Likewise, I should not have forged the names of the dead at
Waterloo in order to inherit their political beliefs and taste
for carnage.

I should have called for an inquest into my behavior at the
polo match, where a large swastika was burned into the grass
near my opponents’ goal and no one claimed responsibility
for the mysterious deaths of all the horses.

I should not have eavesdropped on the ex-President reciting
old speeches to himself in the middle of the night, nor believed
that anyone except his wife and bodyguards would heed his
renewed call for aerial bombardment of active volcanoes, nor
imagined that his declaration of a permanent state of emergency
in the relations between men and women was false.