for Tony Phillips, Memorial Day

I

The women from Yaddo’s kitchen
told us there’d be a parade.
(Ever since they were children—long before
their parents were children!—there had been
a parade.) We didn’t ask where it would go,
knowing it would have to go down
whichever street lies along the backbone of the town
—and here in Saratoga is called Broadway.
And it would march from wherever the gentry live
to whatever park holds the cannon,
scrapped from whichever war—
like this one on Union Avenue,
where this morning, spike-haired punks are sleeping,
and a bride is yawning, and a pair of twins,
one blue-, the other, brown-eyed,
are improvising a ceremony at the side of their stroller.

And we were certain the whole town
would be waiting on this grass
where the tamed mallards poke for crumbs—
and a pair of gray-haired lovers touch
with such slow tenderness—that we smile at their progress
—till they suddenly grow self-conscious.
And at that moment, a whistle in the distance
would dispatch a coterie of drums and brass
from a boys’ club. Then, a drill team,
filled out with decoy guns and banners.
A squad of twirlers and cadets.
A company, fatigued and slightly out of breath
from Vietnam. A women’s auxiliary,
uniformly overweight, but stepping lightly.
—And bringing up the rear, a white-haired man,
pushed by (one last time) in his rolling silver chair.

And we would stand among the people of this town,
waiting for that parade to come
—our heads inclined in the same direction—
to catch the first uncertain notes
or glimpse a flash of colors
between the bobbing heads and shoulders,
that line their route down Broadway.
And despite our belief that we could keep our distance,
some clumsy salute or off-key rallying strain
might touch us as we listen—
might quicken our pulses as we wait in formation,
pressed shoulder to shoulder.
Then we’d have to struggle for a moment,
blink our eyes, force ourselves to smile,
and whisper to each other how corny it all is—
with wave after wave of passing American life.

II

Still looking for the parade, we drive up Broadway—
hearing, blow by blow, what will happen
When Johnny Comes Marching Home on the FM radio.
The melody is gloomy—despite the lyric’s try
for a jaunty encouragement.
They must have known, even then, in our internecine war—
after the unfulfilled waiting, the contradictory news
and the unexplained silence
that permits a general, willful delusion,
that there might be no parade.
Even today, there are no men cheering,
no boys shouting.
The ladies—they have not turned out
—not even the women from the kitchen.
There’s still no sign of a parade.
Though we’ve kept on looking for what seems a century.

I point with hope to a corner
where a man with a rolling cart—
hung with T-shirts and Caribbean art—
is arranging his display as if preparing for a crowd
—(But Tony’s sure there was a cart there all last week).
We spot a family turning onto Broadway
with caps and visors, binoculars and cameras.
But they’re too well-dressed—
they’ve got no folding chairs or cooler chests
—(Only tourists from another city).
And what of those three girls on that bench,
tanned and leggy and a little giggly?
They scan us as we pass—then go back to eating lunch —
without a sign of disillusionment
—(knowing that in time,
someone better will come by and pick them up).

But then at a light—a man in a tie-dyed shirt,
middle-aged and thick in the waist,
calls to us from the curb, “What time is the parade?”
He’s been looking up Broadway,
he’s been waiting for Johnny.
He wants to give him that hearty welcome
—It’s a new age now—we all want to feel gay.
We’ve put aside our revolutions—our radical opinions
—Even our campus insurrections are fading into history
It’s time to walk with Johnny to the park
and stand beside him (through the longwinded
speeches, filled with peaceful lies).
It’s time to shake his hand—
and go and spread the news: that Johnny’s
come marching home, and his legs still work
—and maybe all of that was worth it.