Allowed your fondest druthers, you'd stay put.
But, no, to prove their point, they'll pop your hood.
Cut the slinky coil you've banked some slack.
Describe Old Faithful's spritz as resurrection.

Tethered effigy with never a foot
(Defect your cap and bells don't quite make good).
You'll be acclaimed for warmth and cheer you lack.
As though PR could cure a toy's dejection.