The air seemed like it might tip into spring at any moment. The girls were playing with Alexandra Lebedev, who went to Catholic school and always stripped off her uniform and ran around half nude as soon as she got to the playground. I peeled pith from orange segments and sat with Mrs. Lebedev as she wolfed down the remains of her daughter’s lunch box. She usually interrogated me nonstop about the Jessens (What do Jan and Sigrid feed the girls for dinner? How often do Sigrid’s parents visit? Does DiCaprio really collect Jan’s work?), but now that she had successfully ingratiated herself with my employers, the only thing she wanted to talk about was this sculpture she owned. It was ugly and weird, slender pieces of glass and porcelain brought together by an Italian occultist a hundred years ago and secured so flimsily that they appeared to be bound by his fame alone. It looked like it might’ve fallen apart had no one paid attention to it, and the Lebedevs, who’d inherited it some years ago, hadn’t. But once they became bored enough to start collecting art, they got hip to the dusty old thing. Jan Jessen wanted this austere contraption, and Mrs. Lebedev wanted something by one of the most famous living artists, so they decided on a trade.

The Lebedevs had just attended their first Jessen dinner party. 

“Oh, Ben, the stories! We were dying at the stories the girls tell about you.” 

“What stories?” The three girls were busy digging a hole by the swing set. 

“I can’t do it, I won’t do a good job. Jan does the best impressions. God, something about his accent … By the way, does Sigrid always have her guests sit on those floor cushions?” 

“What stories?” 

Sarah tottered over and pulled on my fingers. 

“Come see my artwork, Benny.” She gestured to a heap of strangled daffodils. 

“I told you not to do that. The park rangers will come get you. Those flowers are for people to enjoy.” 

“I am enjoying them!” She stamped her foot. “Just not when they’re in the ground like that.” I spotted Dot over in the tulips, copying her elder sister. 

“That’s not how you enjoy things, by ruining them,” I said. “They were growing in the ground. Now you’ve ruined them and they’re dead.” 

At the mention of death, her eyes widened. 

“It’s okay, Sarah,” Mrs. Lebedev said softly. “Ben just means don’t do it again.” 

“Is it fine?” I said. “How would you feel if someone ripped up all the flowers in the world?” 

Mrs. Lebedev started to gather her daughter’s things. 

“Wait,” I said. “What stories?” 

“Alex!” Mrs. Lebedev called. “We’re going now!” 

 

 

When we got back to the loft, Sigrid was already home, wearing what appeared to be a washed linen sack and working on her laptop at the kitchen island. The girls’ backpacks and shoes exploded across the living room and they scampered away. 

“Hey,” I said, pulling out a barstool. “What are these stories the girls are telling about me?”

Sigrid laughed. “You know how children are. So hard to impress. So easy to impress upon!” She closed her laptop, padded over to the fridge, and removed carrots, celery, and onions to dice into a Bolognese. 

“But what kinds of things are they saying?” 

She waved a large organic carrot in the air. “It means they like you, if they can spin this stuff out of nothing. Feel free to take off, by the way. I’ve got the girls tonight⁠—Jan has an opening.” 

On the elevator ride down, I racked my brain for anything the girls might have picked up on. Dot had recently asked me why we swallow our food. Sarah had started to warn old people to be careful or they might die. Until now, I’d hardly believed that they could think, let alone create and then conceal elaborate lies about my life and my character. 

My girlfriend, Webb, confirmed my fears. It was basically impossible for children to distinguish between reality, memory, dreams, television⁠—anything that floated by might be sucked up and warped by their sponge brains. 

“This is dangerous,” I said. “Something has to be done. How do we snap them out of it?” 

“They’ll just grow up and repress it.” 

Webb was also an artist: a much more successful one than me, though not necessarily more, I guess, seeing as I had no success. She was just successful. Before art, Webb had been a distress investor. Then she fell for me and my paintings, and decided to give it a whirl herself. 

“Why are you freaking out about it?” she said. “They probably just have a crush on you. It’s normal.” Webb pulled me onto the bed and coaxed my head between her shoulder and neck. She smelled like turpentine and banana blossoms. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to Italy?” 

“I can’t. I have to work.” 

“They can’t find another sitter? I’ll cover your flights.” 

“I mean my painting.” 

“Oh. The big one.” 

“You don’t like it.” 

“No, I do. I love all your paintings. It’s just so …” I tried to remove my head from her crook, but she locked me in. “So dark.”

“Dark?” 

“Not dark. Intense. Hostile.” 

I could feel her heart pumping in her neck. 

 

 

At snack time I halved the girls’ grapes, poured Goldfish into two plastic bowls, and made sure they had the same amount of apple juice. 

“Why are you telling lies about me, guys?” 

“Me don’t know what you’re talking about, Benny.” 

“It’s I,” Sarah said, glancing at me for approval. “don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Dot smiled and breathed loudly into her scratched plastic cup. 

No matter how much I tried to squeeze the girls, I couldn’t get a drop out of them. “Please,” I said. “If you guys are making stuff up about my life, that could actually get me in trouble. Do you want to get me in trouble?” Dot made a diabolical squish face. 

“You tell lies about us all the time,” Sarah said. 

“Yeah, like what?” 

We heard jingling keys and the click of the lock, and a moment later, Jan was home. He was as monumental and brutally elegant as his art. One huge fist was double-wrapped with the dog’s leash⁠—Muffi at the end of it, yapping and straining for the girls⁠—and in his other hand was a long cardboard box, roughly the size of a rolled-up yoga mat.