F. Scott Fitzgerald Attends the Alexander Wang Spring 2013 Show.

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere sit in front of you at the Wang show:

—“So sorry, but the front row is reserved for bloggers. Writers are in the second.”

“I am most certainly a blogger.”

—“What’s your blog?”

“It’s called Tumblr. Keeps my readers in high spirits.”

[A pause; it endured horribly.]

I cannot accept that I’m to be deprived of half the view of a show that endures for a mere five minutes. Not to mention the insult of being told by an intern. In turn, I—

—“Hi, can I take a quick picture of your style for my blog? ”

“Oh, absolutely!”

—“Wait, don’t smile.”

“Oh, no, of course, I’m sorry.”

—“And who makes your suit and shoes?”

“Happens to be a rather confidential sort of thing. You can just put ‘vintage’.”