Issue 150, Spring 1999
Subject is a freak. Subject investigates own reflection: Long hair—check. Funky beard—check. Headband—check. Body odor—check. Wardrobe chosen to indicate honest working-class values, disdain for vanity of personal appearance: dungarees and a heavy cloth shirt. Subject is a Natural Man, uninhibited, posture and facial expressions confirm this: merry, even lewd. Subject is Rolling-With-The-Changes, as per specifications. Subject is Carrying, controlled substance in quantity, two fine doobies of Jamaican Red. Subject tokes up to get the day started R-I-G-H-T.
Subject Boogies On Down The Road to rendezvous checkpoint thirteen hundred hours. Individual approaches Subject in transit with radical literature, which betrays allegiance to foreign ideologies. Subject purchases same. Individual: “All Power to the People, man.” Subject: “Off the Pigs, brother!”
Subject reads limerick from purchased newspaper, to follow:
Ho Chi Minh sold the Pope some fine grass,
which he smoked up before midnig…