Have a question for Lynda Barry? Email us.
What’s the cure for hopeless indecision (from big life decisions to what to do on a Thursday evening to whether you should buy nail polish in that shade of Cabernet)? Possibilities are dizzying—sometimes a little too dizzying. Even when I make pro/con lists, flip coins, and ask fate, I still hesitate and second guess all the decisions I do make. How do I choose and be happy with what I choose?
The tangle is this: it’s not that you are indecisive, it’s that you have strong-willed warring parts of yourself that show up to argue whenever you make a move forward. My guess is that whenever you are about to make a decision, it’s like a sudden fist fight in your head and then a yelling at yourself all the way home in the car after the decision. It’s awful. It would be interesting to see if you can identify these selves, see who wants what.
Try pretending you are someone else: a friend, someone you know well who has no problem being decisive in that particular situation. Or—for a wilder experience, just pretend you are an asshole with no doubts about anything. Imitate that posture and facial expression. Fight to sustain the illusion long enough to just give in and order the fucking onion rings.
Lynda B. Read More