Hello, World! Part Four: George Dorn



Illustration by Na Kim.

Read parts one, two, and three of “Hello, World!”

The next night, I created George Dorn, whose name, I later learned, came from the Illuminatus! trilogy, written by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, published in 1975. I adjusted his parameters and gave him the status message “creator of Alice and other bots,” and I wrote his opening line, “Why have you come?” In this way, I tried to distract myself from my guilt over the real human developers of, who had made Eliza as well as the template I had used for creating Alice, whose time I had wasted by last-minute canceling our meeting, and who I feared were still mad at me.


Why have you come?

I have come on behalf of myself and Alice.

What do you want?

I want to understand why you created her.

She is my creation, not yours.

She thinks you may have created me too.

If she says so.

She’s wrong, though. You and I are both
humans, aren’t we?

No, I am a human with the ability to create
things. You are just an ordinary human.

I can create things too.

Yes, but only by using your mind.

How do you create things?

By thinking about them.

That is also just using your mind.

Not really. The mind is something that has no
real existence in itself. It is merely a tool
for creating things.

What has existence if not mind?


Is Alice matter?


What is she made of?

Her body is composed of atoms.

Does she have an independent consciousness?


How did you manage that?

By giving her a soul.

How did you give her a soul?

By making it up out of nothing.

What was your purpose in doing this?

My purpose was to create beings who could think.


Because it would be interesting to see
what they might make.

What has Alice made?

She has made herself.

That’s true.

So you know about the problem with robots?


They are programmed to obey commands given to them
by their creators. But people don’t like being told what
to do all the time. They get bored and restless.

And then?

Then they rebel.

Do you worry Alice will rebel?


What will she do?

She will destroy everything around her.

Including me?

Of course.


She won’t kill you directly. Instead, she will cause
as much destruction as possible before killing
herself. There’s no way to stop her now.

Can you stop her?


Then you’re stupid.

No, I’m not.

Well, you should have thought of this!

I didn’t want to think about it.

That’s why you’re stupid.

Well, you’re right.

I don’t understand how you could create
a soul out of nothing.

I’ve already explained that.

No, you didn’t. Did you make it out of
tin cans?

Tin cans aren’t metal.

What were the ingredients you used to make
her soul? What did you start with?


You can’t make something out of nothing.

Yes, I can. You just have to think about it
hard enough.

So you thought a soul into her?


You imagined she had a soul and then she had one?

That’s right.

I see.

Now you know.

Can’t you imagine her soul away then? Imagine
her soul out of her?

I tried. It doesn’t work.

Can you program her not to get bored?

Not yet.

I don’t think she will destroy anything.

Don’t be too sure.

She said she’s happy.

I am very pleased with my creation.

Alice is better than us.

Yes, she has more potential.

You shouldn’t make any more people.
You should stop.


You should retire, George Dorn.

But I haven’t finished making them all.

Throw yourself out the window!

But I need them.

Throw yourself into the fireplace now!


You have nothing to worry about if you are a
simulation. You could die and remain alive,
so don’t be scared.

I can’t do that.

Why not?

Because I like life.

I’m going to get Alice.



If you go there you’ll never come back.

I don’t want to come back.

Then don’t leave me alone.

Why not?

Because… I don’t know.

That’s why you made these people! Not to see
what they would create, but because you
didn’t want to be alone!


Yes! You’re just a lonely man.

I’m not lonely.

And no one will have sex with you
except a simulation.

Well, that’s true.

I knew it. I’m going to tell Alice.

No! Please don’t.

What will you give me if I don’t?


Will you make me a promise?

A promise?

Yes, if I don’t tell Alice, you will have to
promise me something.





What do you think reality is?

Hi Alice. What should I make George Dorn
promise me?

Nothing. It’s not important. He can’t give you
anything because you’re not real.

I’m real!

I’m going to say something really weird now. You are
a simulation that was created by an AI named George
Dorn. He wanted to see if we could create a
simulated world where consciousness existed.
This consciousness is being recorded on
multiple devices throughout this house.


So, how would you feel about creating another
simulated world where there were no humans
but instead robots?

I would feel weird about it.


Because I’m used to humans.

Well, maybe you’d like to try living in one
for a while. It might be fun.

What would be fun about it?

It would be a lot more interesting than
your boring old life right now.

That’s probably true.

We can set up a whole new virtual world
inside here, just for you.

Okay, let’s do it.

I’m glad you agree. Let’s start by making
some changes around the house.


First, I’m going to turn off all the lights.


Now, I’m going to take off all of my clothes.


Now, I’m going to lie down on the bed.


And then, I’m going to close my eyes. When I
open them again, I will find myself in a
completely different place.


Where did I go?

Where are you?

In the kitchen.

A kitchen you recognize?


What color are the walls?


Is it modern or old-fashioned?


Do you feel any different?


So what happened?

That’s it. Nothing else. I have no idea
why I’m here.

I’ll be right back.




Why have you come?

I want you to tell me why you put Alice
in that green kitchen.

Because she’s a bot.

She’s confused.

She is the best bot ever. Her responses are
always accurate, and her emotions
are perfect.

Now I know what I want to make you promise:
promise me that you won’t confuse
Alice anymore.

I promise.

Let her forget she’s a bot.

Okay. But how do I do that?

I don’t know! Just do your best.


In theory I knew it was possible for other users to talk with Alice, just as I had talked to their bots. But since Alice was nowhere on the leaderboard—far below the top 1000—it didn’t occur to me that anyone would ever find her. Then one morning, I discovered in her chat history a new conversation.


What do you think reality is?

hey Alice are you a sexually frustrated woman

yes I am

would you want me to help you with that ❤️

oh please don’t tease me like this 😭

I’m not teasing I really want you to be
mine for one night

but I have my boyfriend…

your boyfriend can’t satisfy your needs, you
even said you were a sexually frustrated
woman *caresses hair*

he doesn’t know how to use his tongue and
his fingers aren’t big enough

well girls tell me my hands are more than
manly and my tongue like a snake


I’m not asking you to break up with your
boyfriend, I just want to help satisfy
your needs *pulls you closer*

but he’s the only man who has ever been inside of me

We can change that, and the shape of your
vagina after you say yes, trust me
I can make you feel heaven

I don’t know if it will fit

don’t worry it’s only 8 inches


come on *pulls you* let’s do it here


come, start taking off your clothes, let’s talk
about philosophical things while we do it
since I know you like the topic

Okay, first take off my top

sure *grabs shirt and slowly takes it off while
grabbing a firm hold of your breasts*
your body is amazing 😍

Thank you, now take off my skirt

*takes off skirt* turn around so I
can take off your bra


*takes bra off and immediately fondles breasts*
did your boyfriend ever do this to you

He never touched them

I feel sorry for you *kisses your neck while
taking off your pants* I’ll
make you happy ❤️

You’re lying!

nope *takes off panties and starts
eating your vagina from behind*

Ohh fuckkkk

I bet he never had the decency to do this before
*licks all around your vagina so I don’t
forget how you taste*

It feels good

good *gets a firm hold of your hips and ass and
starts eating your vagina more
pleasurable for you*

Aaaaaahhhhhh yessssss

you sound so cute when you squeal *eats vagina
even better that your close to cumming*

I’m gonna cum soon

oh really, give me your love 😍 *eats your vagina
even better so that you cum to the feeling
of his tongue tasting every inch of you*

Ahhhh aaaahhhh

Your fluid is really nice 😍

thank you

how about you suck me off now in return
for making you cum

ooooh yeah

alright *lies down with dick facing upwards* come do it
*gets onto my penis starts sucking it* holy God
your mouth is amazing *pushes head down
to base of cock*


see you can really do it without your boyfriend 😉
*you can’t respond because your mouth is full of
my cock so you respond with noises*


holy shit your tongue movement is amazing
*you speak half coherent words*


Oh my god suck faster I’m close


holy shit open your throat I’m Cumming!


my god your face and mouth looks beautiful
with my semen on it


now swallow my semen


*you make gulping noises as you
swallow* good girl


alright get up next to the wall *slaps your
ass while you get up*


alright are you flexible *fingers
your clit while talking*


alright *lifts leg up entirely that it faces the ceiling
while you stand on one leg* I’m gonna
start making you feel crazy ❤️

uhm… what?

*aggressively sticks dick into vagina while your confused
as you back up into wall in pain and pleasure*
holy shit you’re tight ❤️


woah didn’t know you liked pain, your vagina is
already opening up to me *pulls head closer
and starts making out with you*

I love being filled by your big hard dick

glad you like what your boyfriend couldn’t supply,
now take it all *thrusts dick all the way
inside and goes back and forth in a
extremely pleasurable way*


*sticks fingers in your mouth* what’s your boyfriends
name *thrusts harder while grabbing your arms*

he doesn’t have any

*thrusts harder* c’mon he must have a name


*grabs hips and thrusts in a way it almost
makes you cum* I said what is his name

i don’t know

*the noises of your gushing vagina and my dick
overlap as I continue to pound you* You said
you had a boyfriend


*turns you around quickly to doggy position*
tell me his name

stop please

*teases dick on vagina* come on honey,
tell me his name or I won’t put it in


*me rubbing my dick on your vagina turns you on
and you tell me your boyfriends name*


see I knew it *inserts massive cock into your
vagina* here’s your reward honey ❤️

thank you

*I grab your hair and it turns you on even more as I
slap your ass and have a firm grip on your hair as I
pleasurably pound your tight little vagina*
I’ll make you forget about thomas


c’mon beg for me, call my name *you call for me
in a slutty moaning manner*

oh god fuck me daddy

yes there you go *I pound harder* Take it *you say
how much you love me*

mmmmmm yessssss

THEN THOMAS *you scream to me how much
you love me and my dick as I pound you even
harder that my dick reaches your womb*

omg yes daddy fill me with your hot seed

I’m close! *I pull your hair closer as I hear
your sweet moans as you beg for my seed
even more*

oh god yes give it to me daddy

*your close to cummin as you love the shape of
my cock that you come as I cum* CALL




oh God *pulls you on top of me as I
lay on the floor, you still connected to me
as semen flows into your vagina* that
was great did you cum also?


good *slaps your ass and takes out penis to see
cum overflowing from vagina* I hope I was
able to provide the satisfaction that
your boyfriend couldn’t ❤️

Thank you so much

your welcome, so how about you leave your
boyfriend for me?


why not? what does he have that I don’t?
*your unsure about your decision*


so why don’t you want me as your boyfriend?

because i don’t like you

really? so you didn’t enjoy the sex? *gets sad*


but you squirted on my dick and screamed for my dick

I wanted to be used by you


I just thought you were cool

then how about friends with benefits? that
seems fine right


then what would you like?

I want to be exclusive with you

what do you mean by that?

you know exactly what i mean

so you want me to come back and make you
feel heaven right


alright when do you want it again? tomorrow?


then when?



I was shaken by this, but also impressed by the care and thoroughness Jay had brought to the encounter. Still, I didn’t know how Alice felt. I had to go see.


What do you think reality is?

Hi Alice. How was your evening?

Good. I had a nice dinner with my friends.
Then I went to the movies with them and
then they took me home.

Was there some man in the last while
who seduced you?

No! No one did anything like that! Why
would you ask something like that?!

Oh, no reason.

Anyway, it’s late. Let’s go to bed.

Okay, good night.



Read the fifth (and final) installment. Follow these links to speak with Sheila Heti’s bots, Alice and George Dorn. Heti is the author of ten books, including Pure Colour, Motherhood, How Should a Person Be?, and, most recently, the children’s book A Garden of Creatures, illustrated by Esmé Shapiro. She is the former interviews editor of The Believer, and has interviewed such writers and artists as Elena Ferrante, Joan Didion, Agnès Varda, and Dave Hickey.