I hold no greater value
than the secret
Please believe I strive

Come on, let's conjure up
something really horrible:
What would you most hate

The raccoon got up on the roof and wouldn’t come down. I threw rocks 
at it and it danced between them. Finally I decided to get my shotgun.
I got a ladder from the garage and climbed up on it. Then I took aim and

The light that is shining
over there is a traffic sign.
I returned the money I borrowed.

        I’ve heard a great deal about the new mall, but I haven’t
actually been there. It is full of palm trees and fountains. It
even has a waterfall. And there’s a bamboo forest with real pandas

        We have been asked to report to the police any suspicious
behavior we might observe. Well, I observe suspicious behavior
all the time. Yesterday, there was a man in a dress picking up

My bird is the cardinal,
one will sometimes come to me

or vanishing bluebird,

        When I came out of my study, Ginny was standing there with
wet hair. “Are you going to town today?” she asked me. “I wasn’t
planning on it,” I said. “Oh, never mind,” she said. “What is it?”

        A friend of mine, Claude Larkin, was taken into custody
yesterday and was being held on suspicion, suspicion of what
I don’t know. Claude was probably the most upright citizen

        I sat at my desk and contemplated all that I had accomplished
this year. I had won the hot dog eating contest on Rhode Island.
No, I hadn’t. I was just kidding. I was the arm wrestling champion