The Daily


Drunk Texts from Famous Authors

January 1, 2013 | by

We’re out this week, but we’re re-posting some of our favorite pieces from 2012 while we’re away. We hope you enjoy—and have a happy New Year!

Jessie Gaynor studies poetry and ill-advised text messages at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.



« Older Comments
  1. Laura | July 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Poe would have texted, but he had lost his phone once again. Behind the wall or under the floor? He couldn’t remember.

  2. JulieH | July 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    Eddy Poe

    Sweet sister, this wretched eve I fell again into drink
    Now all that blinds my sight is your luminous silhouette
    Your dark eye, your pale cheek
    I beg of you, come at once and soothe my fevered brow
    With your sweet kisses
    Also, please bring cash — I cannot locate my wallet
    Nor my clothes

  3. sandwich | July 8, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Someone do Eliot! Or rumii! Neruda? Lorca! Robert Frost’s easy access.

  4. David Nixon | July 10, 2012 at 9:06 am

    In the room, talking of Michael-who-the-fuck? Hit my head on the platter & heard mermaids. Bitches wouldn’t talk to me.

  5. Dave Kaufman - Techlife | July 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Not easy to find a good Gertrude Stein reference with a bit of a quote attached. This was a perfect link for my syndicated column Techlife. Thanks.

  6. chem | August 22, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Lori | July 3, 2012 at 10:04 am
    Somebody do Mamet…

    We’re fucked and now this 3am last call. You know what? Zipped by, whatever it is was the 2am clarion call, it goddamn never got here to begin with. I know a place that’s still open. We’ll never make it. We’re fucked and we’re going. Meet me at wait a minute, this is what was still open. Meet us here. We’ll be gone by then.

  7. chem | August 22, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    Don’t bother calling.

  8. Shelley | January 1, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Split reaction:

    (1) It’s funny.
    (2) Drunk isn’t funny.

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  15. Josh S | June 5, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Theres gin and wine on our breath. The sun is dangling just over the shed. You should come. A car sometimes gives you the right.
    — um, where’s that?
    Where i’m texting from.

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26 Pingbacks

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