{"id":98455,"date":"2016-05-23T13:10:50","date_gmt":"2016-05-23T17:10:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=98455"},"modified":"2016-05-24T13:46:19","modified_gmt":"2016-05-24T17:46:19","slug":"thirty-malapropisms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/05\/23\/thirty-malapropisms\/","title":{"rendered":"Thirty Malapropisms"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"14780803823_0ea202f98d_o\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Ed. Note: every month, the<\/em>\u00a0Daily features a puzzle by Dylan Hicks.<\/em>\u00a0The first list of correct answers<\/strong>\u00a0wins a year\u2019s subscription to<\/em>\u00a0The Paris Review and a copy of Dylan\u2019s new novel,\u00a0<\/em>Amateurs<\/a>. (In the event that no one can get every answer, the list with the most correct responses will win.)<\/em>\u00a0Send an e-mail with your\u00a0answers to contests@theparisreview.org.\u00a0<\/strong>The deadline is\u00a0Thursday, May 26,<\/strong>\u00a0at noon EST,\u00a0<\/strong>when we\u2019ll post the answers. Good luck!<\/em><\/p>\n

Mrs. Malaprop is the pompous aunt in Richard Brinsley Sheridan\u2019s 1775 comedy, The Rivals<\/em>, and the eponym for the word malapropism<\/em>. As one of her relations puts it in the play, she\u2019s known for her use of \u201cwords so ingeniously misapplied, without being mispronounced.\u201d Repeatedly and obliviously, she reaches for a high-flown word but comes out with a similar sounding, contextually nonsensical or ludicrous one\u2014appellation<\/em>, for example, becomes compilation<\/em>;\u00a0alligator <\/em>morphs into\u00a0allegory<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Each sentence in this month\u2019s puzzle contains a malapropism. Your task is to identify the misapplied and intended words. As in The Rivals<\/em>, the confused words are occasionally out-and-out rhymes, but most are more subtly alike in sound. For illustration, we\u2019ll quote two of Mrs. Malaprop\u2019s lines:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. But the point we would request of you is, that you will promise to forget this fellow\u2014to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory.<\/li>\n
  2. He is the very pine-apple of politeness.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Were those quotations part of our puzzle, correct answers would read something like this:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Illiterate <\/em>should be obliterate<\/em>.<\/li>\n
    2. Pine-apple <\/em>should be pinnacle<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Or you might right \u201cilliterate = obliterate,\u201d or \u201cNot \u2018pine-apple, you silly, \u2018pinnacle!\u2019 \u201d\u2014unlike Alex Trebek, we\u2019re not sticklers about how you phrase your answers, though you do need to include both words in each answer. As always, the first person to submit a complete set of correct answers\u2014or, in the event that no one achieves that, the person who submits the most correct answers\u2014wins a free Paris Review <\/em>conscription.\u00a0<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Though most drawn to the hard sciences, Hector studied poetry as an undergraduate and quickly learned to distinguish an anapest from a fractal.<\/li>\n
      2. We were offered bratwursts or nothing, a classic Hobbesian choice.<\/li>\n
      3. On \u201cAll Blues,\u201d Miles Davis employs the Charmin mute to beautifully moody effect.<\/li>\n
      4. Cordelia is a paragon of goodness and finial loyalty.<\/li>\n
      5. The officers surrounded the square in a great show of consubstantial force.<\/li>\n
      6. Resistant to change, Ethyl still used the Dobie Gillis system for transliterating Chinese.<\/li>\n
      7. Rodin\u2019s The Kiss <\/em>is a famous example of sculptural oscillation.<\/li>\n
      8. Some sailors complained of side effects when shipbuilders began using cortisone as a floor covering.<\/li>\n
      9. At her retirement party, Dr. Mounir thought of Wallace Stevens\u2019s phrase, \u201cvaletudinary echoings.\u201d<\/li>\n
      10. The waiter\u2019s lapel pin featured a tiny portrait of Sayid Maxamed Cabdille Xasan, an expression of sommelier pride.<\/li>\n
      11. Feeling aggressive, the Crescent City grandmaster opened with the Queen\u2019s Gumbo.<\/li>\n
      12. Never troubled by five o\u2019clock shadow, Jimmy\u2019s skin was still gibbous and youthful well into his forties.<\/li>\n
      13. Just then a house finch elated on the lectern.<\/li>\n
      14. Hana cherished an inherited Netscape from the Edo period.<\/li>\n
      15. In the stockroom, Alex was a remarkably productive worker, a regular Stalagmite, and his industriousness was rewarded.<\/li>\n
      16. The Hawaiian Islands are ideal for the study of ignoramus rocks.<\/li>\n
      17. Whenever he felt signs of an oncoming cold, Bill stepped into his organ box.<\/li>\n
      18. The commencement address began humorously but built to a suitably horticultural peroration.<\/li>\n
      19. We tried to negotiate with Senator McConnell, but he remained intransitive.<\/li>\n
      20. Though she was most proficient on guitar, Rosa was also a gifted lutefisk.<\/li>\n
      21. The Airbnb guests were querulous regarding the cloaca comforter.<\/li>\n
      22. Lillian and Louis set out on their road trip with an ample vibraculum.<\/li>\n
      23. A handsome and distinguished infantryman, Nigel was a member of the Grenadine Guards.<\/li>\n
      24. The question, ruled the judge, fell outside the statute\u2019s purveyor.<\/li>\n
      25. When evaluating risk, investors often look at the Chicago Board Options Exchange Fallibility Index, a measure drawn on options prices for the next thirty days.<\/li>\n
      26. Talk turned to depth psychology, but the phrase laminal space <\/em>never escaped the tip of Kayla\u2019s tongue.<\/li>\n
      27. Making it past the imposing but venal sentry requires a small sop to Serbia.<\/li>\n
      28. The actor born Betty Joan Perske adopted a metronomic surname.<\/li>\n
      29. Her delicate face revealed all the linemen of piety and grace.<\/li>\n
      30. The match went to five sets, leading to soreness in Bj\u00f6rn\u2019s quadrupeds.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Dylan Hicks is a writer and musician. His second novel,\u00a0<\/em>Amateurs<\/a>,\u00a0is out this month from Coffee House Press.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Ed. Note: every month, the\u00a0Daily features a puzzle by Dylan Hicks.\u00a0The first list of correct answers\u00a0wins a year\u2019s subscription to\u00a0The Paris Review and a copy of Dylan\u2019s new novel,\u00a0Amateurs. (In the event that no one can get every answer, the list with the most correct responses will win.)\u00a0Send an e-mail with your\u00a0answers to contests@theparisreview.org.\u00a0The deadline […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":923,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21168],"tags":[22165,21220,19554,22472,10301,16274,22469,22471,13013],"class_list":["post-98455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-really-difficult-puzzles","tag-dylan-hicks","tag-head-scratchers","tag-malapropisms","tag-play-on-words","tag-puns","tag-puzzles","tag-really-difficult-puzzles","tag-the-rivals","tag-word-games"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThirty Malapropisms<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Each sentence in this month\u2019s puzzle contains a malapropism. 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