{"id":96745,"date":"2016-04-08T16:40:57","date_gmt":"2016-04-08T20:40:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=96745"},"modified":"2016-04-08T17:29:59","modified_gmt":"2016-04-08T21:29:59","slug":"crying-in-public","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/04\/08\/crying-in-public\/","title":{"rendered":"Crying in Public"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

From a 1897 German cartoon.<\/p><\/div>\n

Whenever someone talks about how they never meet any native New Yorkers\u2014this is an odd clich\u00e9 people are given to\u2014I want to tell them,\u00a0just go to Fairway Market on a Saturday with no makeup on. You’ll see everyone I went to high school with, and their parents.\u00a0<\/p>\n

As of this writing, I have cried in public three times today. I\u2019m in the sort of scalded, defenseless mood where anything can set me off, from a nasty slur from a drunk person to a sad human-interest story in the tabloid press. You would think that New York would be the ideal place for public tears: the fabled loneliness in a crowd should, after all, afford some privacy. This is one case where you\u2019d hope the clich\u00e9s are true. (The Fairway one is another.)\u00a0<\/p>\n

But no! The same city that allowed Kitty Genovese to be murdered in front of its collective eyes will not tolerate public tears. \u201cAre you okay, miss?\u201d someone will say. \u201cIs everything okay?\u201d \u201cYou okay?\u201d And then, when you sniff out that you\u2019re fine, when you reach for some pathetic shred of self-respect\u2014\u201cAre you\u00a0sure<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

What would they do if you said, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not. I feel like I have no skin.\u201d What would the social obligation be then? I have no idea, because I, too, have\u00a0bothered crying people. Just the other day I saw a woman sobbing on a Manhattan street corner and I asked her if she was okay. Tentatively, of course. But there was no question of shirking; for some reason this breach of the social contract demands collective action. She muttered that she was fine and regarded me with hatred.<\/p>\n

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of <\/em>The Paris Review, and the\u00a0<\/em>Daily\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whenever someone talks about how they never meet any native New Yorkers\u2014this is an odd clich\u00e9 people are given to\u2014I want to tell them,\u00a0just go to Fairway Market on a Saturday with no makeup on. 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