{"id":96549,"date":"2016-04-05T13:13:17","date_gmt":"2016-04-05T17:13:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=96549"},"modified":"2016-04-05T13:45:43","modified_gmt":"2016-04-05T17:45:43","slug":"tacit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/04\/05\/tacit\/","title":{"rendered":"Tacit"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, Maskenball<\/i>, 1911.<\/p><\/div>\n

It recently occurred to me that there is one aspect of parties I actively dread. It\u2019s not the socializing. It\u2019s not the dressing up\u2014although it\u2019s true I am not burdened by talent in the hair or makeup department, and begrudge the expense.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What makes my heart sink is the thought of all that obligatory mutual admiration: \u201cYou look\u00a0beautiful<\/em>.\u201d \u201cYou look\u00a0great<\/em>.\u201d Hoping to be the first to get it in; not wanting to sound forced, yet absolutely compelled to join in the ritual.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And the thing is, everyone does look \u201cgreat.\u201d People\u2014especially women\u2014have in such cases taken extra care and time with their appearances, and it is natural to want to acknowledge this effort. But it\u2019s a bit like saying I love you\u2014while no words can be more powerful, they\u2019re easily cheapened, too.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I propose that we proceed under the assumption that we all look great. That it\u2019s so obvious as to not need saying. That it\u2019s implicit in our greeting and our smile and our presence and our obvious temporary agreement with the same social mores. I don\u2019t expect it to catch on, but how sincerely I wish it could!\u00a0<\/p>\n

Earlier this week, I happened into a conversation at the drugstore between two employees when I went to pay. \u201cYou really shouldn\u2019t have called that customer ugly,\u201d one girl was chiding her coworker. \u201cDo you have anger issues or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do!\u201d he replied happily. \u201cI\u2019ve gone to therapy and everything!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I think you need to go back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but, she\u00a0was<\/em>\u00a0ugly, though.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of <\/em>The Paris Review, and the <\/em>Daily\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It recently occurred to me that there is one aspect of parties I actively dread. It\u2019s not the socializing. It\u2019s not the dressing up\u2014although it\u2019s true I am not burdened by talent in the hair or makeup department, and begrudge the expense.\u00a0 What makes my heart sink is the thought of all that obligatory mutual […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[7009,5820,13246,21809,1621,450,19695,16786],"class_list":["post-96549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-anxiety","tag-beauty","tag-compliments","tag-dressing","tag-etiquette","tag-parties","tag-social-mores","tag-socializing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLet\u2019s Proceed Under the Assumption That We All Look Great<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sadie Stein on the social mores of partygoing.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/04\/05\/tacit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tacit by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"April 5, 2016 \u2013 It recently occurred to me that there is one aspect of parties I actively dread. 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