{"id":96084,"date":"2016-03-24T18:07:56","date_gmt":"2016-03-24T22:07:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=96084"},"modified":"2016-03-25T13:33:14","modified_gmt":"2016-03-25T17:33:14","slug":"how-to-get-out-of-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/03\/24\/how-to-get-out-of-bed\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Out of Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_96101\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-96101\" class=\"wp-image-96101\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/edouard_manet_lolympia_epreuve-originale.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"422\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/edouard_manet_lolympia_epreuve-originale.jpg 1456w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/edouard_manet_lolympia_epreuve-originale-300x211.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/edouard_manet_lolympia_epreuve-originale-768x541.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/edouard_manet_lolympia_epreuve-originale-1024x721.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-96101\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u00c9douard Manet, <i>Olympia<\/i>, 1867, etching and aquatint on paper.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>In his<em> Meditations<\/em>, Marcus Aurelius wrote,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: \u201cI have to go to work\u2014as a human being. What do I have to complain of, If I\u2019m going to do what I was born for\u2014the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u2014But it\u2019s nicer here \u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>So you were born to feel \u201cnice\u201d? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don\u2019t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you\u2019re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren\u2019t you running to do what your nature demands?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014But we have to sleep sometime\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Agreed. But nature set a limit on that\u2014as it did on eating and drinking. And you\u2019re over the limit. You\u2019ve had more than enough of that. But not of working. There you\u2019re still below your quota.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t love yourself enough. Or you\u2019d love your nature too, and what it demands of you. People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it, they even forget to wash or eat. Do you have less respect for your own nature than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for the dance, the miser for money or the social climber for status? When they\u2019re really possessed by what they do, they\u2019d rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practicing their arts. Is helping others less valuable to you? Not worth your effort?\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a beautiful passage, and a good introduction to the Stoic philosophy that follows. For an emperor, too, it seems very sound counsel. But for anyone under the pall of depression, it\u2019s some of the stupidest advice ever written.<\/p>\n<p>And some of the most pernicious. Marcus Aurelius, presumably, is addressing merely the lazy, not those who are weighed down by their brains and bodies and accidents of life and chemistry. And yet, this still seems to be the going line on these things: Get up! Pull yourself together! Look at nature! Take a walk! When the very prospect of showering seems beyond comprehension, though, these are so many abstractions, and the exhortations yet another despair. It\u2019s one more reason to feel bad.<\/p>\n<p><em>Bad<\/em>\u2014what an inadequate word.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t love yourself enough\u2014well, no. We live in a time that tells you to live lavishly because you\u2019re worth it. But what about those moments when you\u2019re<em>\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0worth it? Or can\u2019t conceive of a world where you ever <em>will <\/em>be worth it? Self-care is so often conflated with self-indulgence that either can become unthinkable. And self-respect? That\u2019s an idea for a world with a past, and a future, and more of a present than the pervasive misery of isolation.\u00a0And yet, the body and the mind help us forget these things.<\/p>\n<p>One day, in a very low moment, I went to the bookstore and looked at the section of self-help books marked \u201cHappiness.\u201d It was a vast collection, spanning some four shelves: cute books filled with cartoons and happy suggestions. Earnest books about changing your outlook. Practical books that laid out day-by-day plans and encouraged you to write positive messages in the margin. The words danced before my eyes and I felt more alone than ever. I wanted the book that didn\u2019t tell me I was beautiful; I wanted the one that told me to keep makeup wipes by the bed for those days I couldn\u2019t manage to wash my face. I didn\u2019t want to read Emily Dickinson; I wanted to be told to keep my pills close at hand, and to have a set of clean, smooth sheets to put on the bed. I did not want to be told it would pass; I wanted to be told to throw all my mess in an extra-large tote bag and stow it out of my sightlines. I wanted the perverse mindfulness of the eye of the storm.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Later, I knew, there would be walks. There would be poems and cheerful aphorisms. There would be the beauty of nature, the ability to remember what happiness feels like. There would be helping people. There would be looking forward to things. And there would be puppies, literally\u2014I had plans to visit a friend with a puppy later that day. But in the midst of it, these things are present only as a vacuum.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t buy a book that day. Instead I went home, and I put the new sheets on the bed,\u00a0because the soft coolness against your cheek, at least, does not make things worse. And by the next day I had forgotten what the emptiness was like, and I wondered why I had not simply taken the Stoic\u2019s advice and gone to work.<\/p>\n<p><em>Sadie Stein is contributing editor of <\/em>The Paris Review<em>, and the <\/em>Daily<em>\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote, At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: \u201cI have to go to work\u2014as a human being. What do I have to complain of, If I\u2019m going to do what I was born for\u2014the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[57,513,7599,21664,21663,16877,3612,21665],"class_list":["post-96084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-advice","tag-depression","tag-happiness","tag-marcus-aurelius","tag-meditations","tag-melancholy","tag-psychology","tag-self-help-books"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Depressive\u2019s Guide to Getting Out of Bed<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sadie Stein on depression.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/03\/24\/how-to-get-out-of-bed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Get Out of Bed by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"March 24, 2016 \u2013 In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote,At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: \u201cI have to go to work\u2014as a human being. 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