{"id":95507,"date":"2016-03-11T13:38:13","date_gmt":"2016-03-11T18:38:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=95507"},"modified":"2016-03-11T13:44:55","modified_gmt":"2016-03-11T18:44:55","slug":"the-solution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/03\/11\/the-solution\/","title":{"rendered":"The Solution"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_95513\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/vday.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-95513\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-95513\" class=\"wp-image-95513\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/vday.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/vday.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/vday-300x224.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-95513\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">A new kind of matchmaking. Photo: Marco Verch<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em>Sharon Olds\u2019s poem \u201cThe Solution\u201d appeared in our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/back-issues\/96\" target=\"_blank\">Summer 1985 issue<\/a>. Her most recent collection is\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Stags-Leap-Poems-Sharon-Olds\/dp\/0375712259\/ref=sr_1_14?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1457720451&amp;sr=1-14&amp;refinements=p_27%3ASharon+Olds\" target=\"_blank\">Stag\u2019s Leap<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Finally they got the Singles problem under control, they made it scientific. They opened huge Sex Centers\u2014you could simply go and state what you want and they would find you someone who wanted that too. You would stand under a sign saying\u00a0<em>I Like to Be Touched and Held<\/em>\u00a0and when someone came and stood under the sign saying\u00a0<em>I Like to Touch and Hold<\/em>\u00a0they would send the two of you off together.\u00a0<!--more--><\/p>\n<p> At first it went great. A steady stream of people under the sign\u00a0<em>I Like to Give Pain<\/em> paired up with a steady stream of people from under <em>I Like to Receive Pain<\/em>.\u00a0<em>Foreplay Only\u2014No Orgasm<\/em>\u00a0found its adherents, and\u00a0<em>Orgasm Only\u2014No Foreplay<\/em>\u00a0matched up its believers. A loyal Berkeley, California, policeman stood under the sign <em>Married Adults, Lights Out, Face to Face, Under a Sheet<\/em>, because that\u2019s the only way it was legal in Berkeley\u2014but he stood there a long time in his lonely blue law coat. And the man under\u00a0<em>I Like to Be Sung to While White Bread Is Kneaded on My Stomach\u00a0<\/em>had been there weeks without a reply.<\/p>\n<p>Things began to get strange. <em>The\u00a0Love Only\u2014No Sex<\/em>\u00a0was doing fine; the\u00a0<em>Sex Only\u2014No Love\u00a0<\/em>was doing well, pair after pair walking out together like wooden animals off a child\u2019s ark, but the line for\u00a0<em>38D or Bigger\u00a0<\/em>was getting unruly, shouting insults at the line for\u00a0<em>8 Inches or Longer<\/em>, and odd isolated signs were springing up everywhere,\u00a0<em>Retired Schoolteacher<\/em> and <em>Parakeet\u2014No Leather; One Rm\/No Bath\/View of Sausage Factory<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>The din rose in the vast room. The line under\u00a0<em>I Want to Be Fucked Senseless\u00a0<\/em>was so long that portable toilets had to be added and a minister brought for deaths, births, and marriages on the line. Over under\u00a0<em>I Want to Fuck Senseless<\/em>\u2014no one, a pile of guns. A hollow roaring filled the enormous gym. More and more people began to move over to\u00a0<em>Want to Be Fucked Senseless<\/em>. The line snaked around the gym, the stadium, the whole town, out into the fields. More and more people joined it, until <em>Fucked Senseless<\/em> stretched across the nation in a huge wide belt like the Milky Way, and since they had to name it they named it, they called it the American Way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sharon Olds\u2019s poem \u201cThe Solution\u201d appeared in our Summer 1985 issue. Her most recent collection is\u00a0Stag\u2019s Leap. Finally they got the Singles problem under control, they made it scientific. They opened huge Sex Centers\u2014you could simply go and state what you want and they would find you someone who wanted that too. You would stand [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":946,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1188],"tags":[142,5208,17072,19907,21500,21498,7221,165,13490,179,21499,3681],"class_list":["post-95507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-from-the-archive","tag-america","tag-desire","tag-fetishes","tag-from-the-archive","tag-fucking-senselessly","tag-issue-96","tag-poems","tag-poetry","tag-prose-poems","tag-sex","tag-sex-centers","tag-sharon-olds"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>\u201cThe Solution,\u201d a Poem by Sharon Olds (1985)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Finally they got the Singles problem under control, they made it scientific. 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