{"id":90450,"date":"2015-10-01T16:06:45","date_gmt":"2015-10-01T20:06:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=90450"},"modified":"2015-10-02T15:42:35","modified_gmt":"2015-10-02T19:42:35","slug":"getting-the-boot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/10\/01\/getting-the-boot\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting the Boot"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

An 1881 boot ad.<\/p><\/div>\n

There is a part early in Georgette Heyer\u2019s\u00a0The Grand\u00a0<\/em>Sophy\u00a0<\/em>in which the eponymous heroine is told that \u201cthere are more important things to think of than one\u2019s dresses.\u201d To which the redoutable Sophy replies, \u201cWhat a stupid thing to say! Naturally there are, but not, I hold, when one is dressing for dinner.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is some of the soundest advice in literature. The necessary frivolities of life may as well be approached with seriousness\u2014you\u2019ll be dealing with them anyway.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It is my personal and firmly held conviction that if one shops thoughtfully, the actual process of dressing doesn\u2019t demand much of one\u2019s time; all the work has been done on the front end. But it is a sad fact of life that, in the buying, some things will take up a lot of time.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking specifically of boots: something one wears nearly every day of winter, generally a relatively large investment and, as such, a purchase demanding a certain amount of thought. An ideal boot has to be decently made, versatile, affordable, and comfortable. And, of course, it must fit your leg.<\/p>\n

Until quite recently, this had been my private white whale. Most boots flapped around my calves like galoshes, giving me the air of a child playing dress up\u2014although as what, I\u2019m not sure. An old salt, maybe. It is a mysterious truth that only very, very expensive boots fit every leg, and most of us cannot afford that. It\u2019s also a sad reality that having boots taken in is perilously expensive and generally not worth the trouble. For years I\u2019ve made do with the occasional vintage pair (until the heel begins to wiggle ominously and rain begins to leak into the toe) or believed a sales clerk who told me mendaciously that a particular boot would \u201ccrunch down\u201d as I wore it, or \u201clooked fine.\u201d As someone who\u2019s worked in retail, I know I should be able to interpret the noncommittal \u201cIt doesn\u2019t bother me\u201d as a coded denunciation. But in moments of desperation, I\u2019ve wanted to believe.<\/p>\n

All of which is to say that when I ran across a new line of boots for \u201cskinny calves\u201d\u2014the label even bears a picture of an emaciated cow, like in Jack and the Beanstalk<\/em> or something\u2014I was elated. I couldn\u2019t stop raving to the saleswoman helping me. She shared my excitement, after years of sloshing around in large tubes of leather. \u201cDo you know what me and my girlfriends call it?\u201d she said, and lowered her voice conspiratorially. \u201cThe sugar-spoon-in-coffee effect.\u201d I shuddered sympathetically, reveling in the novel caress of suede against my scrawny gam.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I know this is not an issue of international importance. It is, in fact,\u00a0un<\/em>important. But, goddammit, we\u2019re going to buy boots, and they might as well\u00a0fit<\/em>. I sent the information along to interested parties.<\/p>\n

After the electrifying boot experience\u2014I had put them on hold for a day, to prolong the excitement (and because I was not going straight home)\u2014I had to go to the hardware store to have some keys copied. I could not help but notice that the young woman helping me had remarkably slender legs, showcased by her jeans. I debated saying something. I didn\u2019t want to be creepy, or insult her. On the other hand, this information would change her life. I came up with a plan miraculous in its subtlety.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re wondering why I\u2019m smiling,\u201d I said\u2014and she clearly hadn\u2019t been\u2014\u201cit\u2019s because of something really stupid. After years of searching, I just found\u00a0an entire line of boots made for skinny legs, across the street<\/em>. Sorry, I just had to tell someone!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Her jaw dropped. \u201cSeriously?\u201d she said. \u201cI have skinny legs<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do?\u201d I said innocently.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can never find boots that fit me! For real, I was\u00a0just<\/em>\u00a0talking about this to my coworker.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, definitely check it out!\u201d I said. \u201cThere\u2019s a flat one, and a fitted guy with a heel\u2014and also this wedge over-the-knee situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOoh, I like over-the-knee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not cheap, but they look good quality.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God, for boots that fit, I will totally pay. Just to not have to think about it, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d I said.\u00a0\u201cI do <\/em>know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of <\/em>The Paris Review, and the <\/em>Daily\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a part early in Georgette Heyer\u2019s\u00a0The Grand\u00a0Sophy\u00a0in which the eponymous heroine is told that \u201cthere are more important things to think of than one\u2019s dresses.\u201d To which the redoutable Sophy replies, \u201cWhat a stupid thing to say! Naturally there are, but not, I hold, when one is dressing for dinner.\u201d\u00a0 This is some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[19536,12511,3062,5078,124,10924,6664,8007,19620,19619],"class_list":["post-90450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-boots","tag-city-life","tag-georgette-heyer","tag-legs","tag-new-york","tag-shoes","tag-shopping","tag-size","tag-skinniness","tag-the-grand-sophy"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNever Underestimate a Good Pair of Boots<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"October 1, 2015 \u2013 There is a part early in Georgette Heyer\u2019s\u00a0The Grand\u00a0Sophy\u00a0in which the eponymous heroine is told that \u201cthere are more important things to think of than\" \/>\n<meta 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