{"id":83744,"date":"2015-03-17T19:03:23","date_gmt":"2015-03-17T23:03:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=83744"},"modified":"2015-03-18T12:56:15","modified_gmt":"2015-03-18T16:56:15","slug":"dont-read-this-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/03\/17\/dont-read-this-book\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Read This Book"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"elasticwebbing\"<\/a>

Avoid.<\/p><\/div>\n

When I saw the cover of Clifford A. Richmond\u2019s The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing <\/em>(1946) making the rounds on Tumblr, I knew at once I had to have it. I don\u2019t know why, in retrospect. I paid seventeen dollars for a used copy. I have made a mistake.<\/p>\n

I imagined\u2014based solely on the presence of Romance<\/em> in the title, and that handsome gilt typeface\u2014that Richmond would be a lively historian, an eccentric, an obsessive, dedicated to teasing out the poesy in elastic webs. This thing will practically excerpt itself, I thought. Imagine the untapped, Internet-breaking power of this man\u2019s elastic rhapsodies! Imagine the hilarity trapped beneath his industrious self-seriousness! <\/p>\n

But The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing<\/em> is only an arid, methodical look at midcentury elastic webbing firms, large and small, up and down the East Coast. To call it \u201cinside baseball\u201d is doing it a favor, because baseball is a sport, and some people are entertained by sports. No one will be entertained by this book. Truth be told, I\u2019m not even altogether sure, having read<\/span> thoroughly skimmed it, what elastic webbing is<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s that rubbery anti-slip material you sometimes find under welcome mats at, say, IHOP, but Richmond\u2019s book alludes to wide uses in the garment business, so I\u2019m mistaken, unless the early twentieth century was dominated by rubber-fishnet fetishists.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn memory of four promising young men of the United Elastic Corporation,\u201d the dedication reads. And the introduction offers these promising, antic lines:<\/p>\n

\n

Then and there Samuel Williston got the smell of rubber in his nostrils, and it will be seen as this story unravels that once that happens to a man he either stays with rubber or is thereafter ever homesick to get back into the rubber industry.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Yeah! If the whole book comprised scenes of lonely, straitlaced men in three-piece suits huffing rubber straight from the assembly line, it was going to be awesome.<\/p>\n

But there is no story to unravel. That\u2019s the first and last appearance of the word nostrils<\/em>. I held out hope, nonetheless, for a colorful cast of characters: after all, \u201cthere are few animals in captivity,\u201d Richmond writes, \u201cwho enjoy blowing their own trumpets more than do elastic web makers. No offense\u2014the writer included himself in this judgment.\u201d<\/p>\n

Richmond hardly writes another word about himself. His only moments of hubris come when he reaches for metaphors. \u201cThe atomic bomb of oblivion seems to have blown them off history\u2019s pages,\u201d he writes of some forgotten elastic-webbing manufacturers. And, of a more successful gent: \u201cEvery last ounce of his brain is going places\u2014one of which most decidedly is not the poorhouse.\u201d And boy, can the guy riff on mergers and acquisitions!<\/p>\n

\n

With birth, labor pangs, and a raft of things to be \u201cironed out,\u201d the United Elastic Corporation was born October 27, 1927. When anyone tells you that it is a pleasure party to put together, as one, two or more corporations that have been in lively competition, just open your mouth for air, and say nothing.<\/p>\n

To be sure, in the early stages that child had colic, mumps, measles, whooping cough, growing pains, pimples during adolescence and a change of nurses. All of these were lived through without once missing the payment of dividends to the shareholders.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

If that seems needlessly extended, remember that in Richmond\u2019s opinion, it\u2019s the only way to capture, with any truth, the complexity of this business. \u201cRelating the history of elastics,\u201d he writes, \u201cis not unlike twisting in threads and cutting the cards for a jacquard pattern.\u201d And he seems ennobled by his calling:<\/p>\n

\n

It is indeed unfortunate that no scribe has bestirred himself to write the record of an industry producing an essential product of far-flung usefulness, an honorable industry \u2026 One who has given his life to the manufacture of elastic web describes the lot of the elastic web manufacturer as \u201cdancing on a hot griddle.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Would that these pages had absorbed some of that heat.<\/p>\n

Who is Cliff Richmond, anyhow? Google hardly knows him. A notice in the September 1916 issue of Notions and Fancy Goods<\/em> describes him as \u201ca thoroughly practical man\u201d; records indicate that he held stock in the American Pneumatic Service Company. Other than that, the atomic bomb of oblivion, you might say, seems to have blown him off history\u2019s pages. He does have, I should say, one brief mention in a book from 2013. It\u2019s called Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Dan Piepenbring is the web editor of <\/em>The Paris Review.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I saw the cover of Clifford A. Richmond\u2019s The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing (1946) making the rounds on Tumblr, I knew at once I had to have it. I don\u2019t know why, in retrospect. I paid seventeen dollars for a used copy. I have made a mistake. I imagined\u2014based solely on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7032],"tags":[14630,17445,17447,2861,17448,7656,12867,17446,17449],"class_list":["post-83744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-out-of-print","tag-bad-books","tag-clifford-a-richmond","tag-factories","tag-history","tag-industry","tag-oddities","tag-rubber","tag-the-history-and-romance-of-elastic-webbing","tag-united-elastic-corporation"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAvoid This Book: The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A look at a deservedly forgotten 1946 book.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/03\/17\/dont-read-this-book\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Don\u2019t Read This Book by Dan Piepenbring\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"March 17, 2015 \u2013 When I saw the cover of Clifford A. 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