{"id":83552,"date":"2015-03-11T14:25:05","date_gmt":"2015-03-11T18:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=83552"},"modified":"2015-03-11T16:52:44","modified_gmt":"2015-03-11T20:52:44","slug":"elder-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/03\/11\/elder-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"Elder Abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Or\u0142owski_Old_man_in_a_fur_hat\"<\/a>

Alexander Orlowski, Head of an Old Man in a Fur Hat<\/i>, 1815.<\/p><\/div>\n

For something that inhibits creativity, depression inspires a lot of metaphors. You can read about it likened to a vine-covered house or a black dog or a dreary balloon, or see it portrayed as a lowering cloud. Maybe because it\u2019s a state so characterized by its lacks\u2014of joy, of fun, of perspective, of energy, of hope, of self-love, of memory\u2014people are eager to imbue it with substance.<\/p>\n

When it hit me\u2014in the abrupt way it does when you\u2019ve forgotten to take your meds\u2014I was on the subway. It was like being deluged by a tidal wave\u2014no, make that a wave of slush from a passing taxi. The drear was powerful and immediately\u00a0exhausting. I told myself it would pass. We all have our tricks. When things aren\u2019t too bad, I can sometimes get myself to the dog run. The best thing to do is to help someone else, although this is easier to say when you\u2019re not in the grip of it. When the prospect of dressing or bathing seems beyond contemplation, when keeping yourself from others seems like one of the few good things you can manage, the energy required in engaging with others is daunting.\u00a0<\/p>\n

This day, I wasn\u2019t so far gone as all that. I knew the thing to do was to take my mind off my troubles. I decided on something I\u2019d been thinking of for a while: to go to the senior center and ask them to pair me with someone to visit regularly. I\u2019d used to visit a woman, but a while ago she\u2019d moved, or been moved, to a nursing home out of state, and since then I\u2019d let it slide. There are a lot of elderly people in my neighborhood, and during the winter people can feel particularly isolated. Maybe I could hang out there and talk to people\u2014anyway, it was a good thing to do. It\u2019s always good to remember the elderly.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re not yourself, it can be important to remember what you\u2019re like when happy, to try to conjure the things that would normally bring you delight or pleasure. So when I passed the supermarket, I had the thought of stopping to get myself a package of Entenmann\u2019s hot cross buns. I wasn\u2019t hungry now, but normally I look forward to the annual appearance of these shelf-stabilized pastries the way some seasonal epicures anticipate the running of the shad.\u00a0<\/p>\n

While I was on line to pay, an old man came in and made a beeline for the single cashier. \u201cI forgot my muffins!\u201d he explained. And then, well, he sort of light-switched. All of a sudden he was furious. \u201cYOU DID IT AGAIN!\u201d he screamed. \u201cYOU STUPID MORON! YOU PUT MY MUFFINS IN A SEPARATE BAG AND I FORGOT THEM!\u201d<\/p>\n

The three of us on line were shocked. The teenage cashier didn\u2019t look up. She continued to scan another customer\u2019s groceries.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t talk to her that way!\u201d I said when the initial stupefaction had worn off. But he was too far gone in rage to notice me.<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU DO IT ON PURPOSE!\u201d he was screaming now. \u201cYOU DO IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? IT\u2019S ELDER ABUSE! AND I\u2019M GOING TO SUE YOU! I\u2019M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR ELDER ABUSE!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

He was really worked up now, face red, veins throbbing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only one being abusive here is you!\u201d I said. \u201cPlease leave!\u201d<\/p>\n

Once again he ignored me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cELDER ABUSE!\u201d he was screaming over and over.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He moved forward menacingly and the man ahead of me leaned away.<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT\u2019S ELDER ABUSE, TOO!\u201d he shouted. \u201cYOU JUST ASSAULTED A SENIOR! I\u2019M GOING TO SUE YOU!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir, please get ahold of yourself,\u201d I said severely. I didn\u2019t know why no one else was saying anything; presumably because he was either senile or deranged. Or because he was paying no attention. He left, glaring at us all the way up the escalator. I made a point of shaking my head at him. I was more than a little disappointed to have been acquitted of elder abuse.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry he spoke to you that way,\u201d I said to the checkout girl when it was my turn. She smiled faintly. \u201cI don\u2019t take it personally,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have to say, after that I felt just fine.<\/p>\n

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of <\/em>The Paris Review, and the <\/em>Daily\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For something that inhibits creativity, depression inspires a lot of metaphors. You can read about it likened to a vine-covered house or a black dog or a dreary balloon, or see it portrayed as a lowering cloud. 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