{"id":82021,"date":"2015-01-26T13:02:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-26T18:02:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=82021"},"modified":"2015-01-26T13:02:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-26T18:02:40","slug":"letter-from-new-york-2005","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/26\/letter-from-new-york-2005\/","title":{"rendered":"Letter from New York, 2005"},"content":{"rendered":"

Adventures in tastelessness at <\/em>The Onion.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Photo: Casey Bisson, via Flickr<\/p><\/div>\n

I used to be an editor at The Onion<\/em>. This was in 2004, when most of the original writers were still there\u2014just a handful had gone off to Hollywood. I was hired by my friend Carol Kolb, who\u2019d just been made editor in chief.<\/em><\/p>\n

Carol is the funniest person I have ever known. One time we went to a German restaurant together, and our server was a cross-dresser. The cross-dresser was the newer kind. He was a man, dressed as a woman, but I think the polite thing is to use the female pronoun. She didn\u2019t wear any makeup, and she didn\u2019t have styled hair. She wore blue jeans and a shirt from the Gap. Her chin-length red hair was lackluster, and looked a little oily. She was about forty years old, and she behaved like a forty-year-old woman\u2014tired, kind, a little weary.<\/p>\n

I went to the restaurant a lot, and for whatever reason, she never confused me, but Carol, I have to say, was uncomfortable. It was as if she couldn\u2019t decide whether this was just a guy who had accidentally put on his wife\u2019s clothes that morning or she was a woman who had just given up all hope. Carol had trouble ordering\u2014she stumbled over her words and couldn\u2019t meet the server\u2019s eye. I noticed she kept looking nervously at the server\u2019s breasts and hips. It wasn\u2019t too big a deal, and the server handled it like a forty-year-old woman would, not taking it personally and not acknowledging that it was happening. When the server walked away, Carol said, \u201cI am so embarrassed. I was acting like somebody from Spencer, Wisconsin.\u201d She made her eyes glaze over as a hayseed\u2019s would if he met Divine. \u201cI was like this!\u201d she said, \u201cI just couldn\u2019t get it together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another joke of Carol\u2019s was to say, on a crowded subway, \u201cDid you hear about Maria\u2019s new boyfriend?\u201d <\/p>\n

I enjoyed this, so I\u2019d always go, \u201cWhat? Maria\u2019s dating someone?\u201d I\u2019d be pleasantly surprised. \u201cHow long\u2019s this<\/em> been going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

Carol would act like someone who has a secret she shouldn\u2019t tell. I\u2019d pressure her to spill. After some back and forth, she\u2019d say, \u201cHe fucks her with a gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Whoever was around us would begin to eavesdrop, and then we\u2019d just play out the scene. It changed every time. Sometimes I started to bring up Maria\u2019s new boyfriend, and then it was even better. When I told Carol about the gun one night on a subway, beside a modestly dressed brunette, Carol immediately said, \u201cWas it loaded?\u201d<\/p>\n

I said it was, and she said, \u201cWell, was the safety on?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been thinking about Carol and those days at The Onion<\/em> lately because of what happened at Charlie Hebdo. I\u2019ve been remembering a time when The Onion<\/em>\u2019s advertising team, who just wanted us to be \u201ca little more tasteful, a little more cautious,\u201d tried to bully Carol.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d done a few jokes the ad guys didn\u2019t like. The only one that comes to mind immediately was about Weird Al Yankovic writing a parody of \u201cTears in Heaven.\u201d This joke came out the week his parents died. I don\u2019t have Carol\u2019s ferocious comic instincts, and so I admit, a bit shamefacedly, that I sort of sided with advertising, and a few other cowardly writers did, too. But Carol didn\u2019t back down, and I admired that. She never backed down. Also, in her defense, the ad guys saw\u2014and complained about\u2014the material they didn\u2019t like by sneaking our proofs off the editorial printer, which always just seemed slimy.<\/p>\n

When Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, the people in the advertising department got very, very worried about what Carol was going to do. In fact, the writers had already had the headline meeting and none of them thought there was anything funny about Katrina. They were just staying away from it. I don\u2019t know if they were right\u2014maybe there was something there, in the government\u2019s bungled handling or something\u2014but they all felt just sad and scared and a little sick about it. Nobody was laughing.<\/p>\n

But understandably, the advertising wing was working itself into a lather imagining all the tasteless jokes we were going to try to publish. They had even begun to decide, without consulting us, that this was it, they were taking a stand. This time they would not let Carol decide. \u201cWe will go to any lengths to protect the dignity of the citizens of New Orleans,\u201d they more or less declared. The \u201cpresident\u201d of the company called Carol into his office, sat her down for a serious talk, and let her know that he felt strongly about this. He understood she would want to cover Katrina, but he \u201cknew she would use good taste and good sense,\u201d and that he wouldn\u2019t have to take it any higher or play cards he didn\u2019t want to play, should she choose to test him.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t remember who had the idea. But one of us suggested we mock up a fake front page for our Katrina issue. We\u2019d leave it lying in the editorial printer for one of the advertising people to find. We all got together and brainstormed the most offensive, terrifying, tasteless, wrong headlines we could think of, knowing that those little schemers would be watching the printer.<\/p>\n

We turned in maybe fifteen headlines apiece. None of mine made it. We chose five, laid them out, and, to make it more realistic, Carol scribbled some editorial comments in red pen. One headline was so outrageous that it still makes me laugh a decade later. It was written by John Krewson. The art guys illustrated it with a newswire photo of African Americans wading through chest-high water. It evoked America at its worst\u2014it was racist and insensitive and I remember every word, but The Paris Review<\/em> editors drew the line at gun-fucking.<\/p>\n

We left the page on the printer for a few hours before it disappeared. Then there was a long, icy silence from advertising. Stony glares. The phone call came. Carol went over to the president\u2019s office. He held up the page. At this point, I would have broken. Any ordinary human would, I think, have broken. Carol said, outraged, \u201cHow did you get that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Amie Barrodale is soon to publish her first short story collection, <\/i>You Are Having a Good Time.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Adventures in tastelessness at The Onion. I used to be an editor at The Onion. This was in 2004, when most of the original writers were still there\u2014just a handful had gone off to Hollywood. I was hired by my friend Carol Kolb, who\u2019d just been made editor in chief. Carol is the funniest person […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":291,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4393],"tags":[16763,679,14596,16764,2968,16528,16762,16486,16093,411,3560,11571,9685,125,11148,7479,16761,2668],"class_list":["post-82021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-person","tag-16763","tag-advertising","tag-bad-taste","tag-carol-kolb","tag-censorship","tag-charlie-hebdo","tag-editorial","tag-free-expression","tag-headlines","tag-humor","tag-hurricane-katrina","tag-jokes","tag-media","tag-new-york-city","tag-newspapers","tag-satire","tag-tastelessness","tag-the-onion"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWorking at \u201cThe Onion\u201d: Adventures in Tastelessness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How far is too far? 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