{"id":81469,"date":"2015-01-12T16:51:55","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T21:51:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=81469"},"modified":"2015-01-12T17:11:43","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T22:11:43","slug":"simon-says","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/12\/simon-says\/","title":{"rendered":"Simon Says"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_81478\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/8050771631_92bb01e153_o.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-81478\" class=\"wp-image-81478\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/8050771631_92bb01e153_o.jpg\" alt=\"8050771631_92bb01e153_o\" width=\"600\" height=\"332\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/8050771631_92bb01e153_o.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/8050771631_92bb01e153_o-300x166.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-81478\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Toy Whirl, via Flickr<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Not very long ago, family friends got in touch with me. Their son, Luke, was moving to New York for med school; it would be great if I\u2019d see him and told him where to go in the city; he would be in touch. He was.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is three hours of my life I\u2019ll never get back,\u201d I said bitterly to my boyfriend.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, nothing. He\u2019s fine, from what I remember. He\u2019s a perfectly nice guy. But, well, frankly \u2026 his parents carry on like he\u2019s some kind of celebrated wit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow do they do that?\u201d <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, you know,\u201d I said vaguely. \u201cGoing on about the hilarious things he says \u2026 and that kind of thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0*<\/p>\n<p>When I next spoke to my parents, I made a point of bringing it up.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThanks a lot,\u201d I said. \u201cI assume you gave them my e-mail address.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI really don\u2019t see what the problem is,\u201d said my mother. \u201cHe\u2019s a very nice young man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, <em>nice<\/em>, sure,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019s perfectly <em>nice<\/em>. I just don\u2019t know why everyone acts like he\u2019s the second coming of Oscar Wilde.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t know he had that reputation,\u201d said my dad.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, he certainly does.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou haven\u2019t seen him in about ten years, have you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0*<\/p>\n<p>I saw my brother the evening before our coffee date.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUgh, did I tell you I have to see that kid Luke tomorrow? The Kleins\u2019 son who used to come to New Year\u2019s, when we\u2019d go to those people\u2019s house.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, I remember. Why are you seeing him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know, he wrote me. He\u2019s coming to New York for school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, if it\u2019s such a problem, why did you say yes?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI just did. And now I have to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, sure. I just don\u2019t understand why people go around acting like he\u2019s the lost member of the Algonquin Round Table or something.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, you know, how he\u2019s supposed to be so witty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSince no one says that,\u201d said my brother. \u201cI don\u2019t think it will be a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEveryone says it,\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo one. Well, you do. But I\u2019ve literally never heard anyone else say it.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*<\/p>\n<p>Well, I had coffee with that guy. He was, indeed, very nice. And if you didn\u2019t go into it expecting a celebrated wit, you were not apt to be disappointed.<\/p>\n<p>I looked at him and tried to remember him at as a kid, face illuminated by the flashing primary colors on a game of Simon. You remember that game; you had to remember a series of illuminated patterns, and the sequences got longer and more challenging each round. If you were bad at it, it was particularly nightmarish, a blur of battery-powered sirens and <small>WRONG<\/small> buzzers and taunts. \u201cYou must not have a very high IQ,\u201d he\u2019d said. \u201cThat\u2019s how they measure IQ. With games like this. And that shows how smart you\u2019ll be your whole life. My dad told me,\u201d he said, while I wept with rage and frustration.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>Sadie Stein is contributing editor of\u00a0<\/em>The Paris Review<em>, and the\u00a0<\/em>Daily<em>\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not very long ago, family friends got in touch with me. Their son, Luke, was moving to New York for med school; it would be great if I\u2019d see him and told him where to go in the city; he would be in touch. He was.\u00a0 \u201cThis is three hours of my life I\u2019ll never [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[158,16571,16570,14019,1435,12052,16572],"class_list":["post-81469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-encounters","tag-expectations","tag-family-friends","tag-meetings","tag-oscar-wilde","tag-wit","tag-wittiness"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Simon Says<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sadie Stein meets up with a family friend.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/12\/simon-says\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Simon Says by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"January 12, 2015 \u2013 Not very long ago, family friends got in touch with me. 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