{"id":81317,"date":"2015-01-07T15:57:44","date_gmt":"2015-01-07T20:57:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=81317"},"modified":"2015-01-07T16:20:13","modified_gmt":"2015-01-07T21:20:13","slug":"notes-on-becoming-a-crank","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/07\/notes-on-becoming-a-crank\/","title":{"rendered":"Notes on Becoming a Crank"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Gerard_Dou_-_Old_Woman_Reading_a_Bible_-_WGA06639\"<\/a>

Gerard Dou, Woman Reading a Bible<\/i>, ca. 1630.<\/p><\/div>\n

There are many benefits to being a grown-up. Using stoves unsupervised, buying things online, enjoying herring. As children suspect, you can set your own bedtime; as adults know, this can be as early as you like.\u00a0<\/p>\n

One of the worst<\/em> things\u2014besides the loss of innocence, I mean\u2014is becoming a crank. When you\u2019re a kid and you\u2019re opinionated, it\u2019s cute. Less so when you\u2019re a teenager\u2014you morph into an ass\u2014but people forgive that, too. As a young adult, maybe you\u2019ve become a jerk, but whatever, you still have idealism and fire in your belly. Then one day you wake up and you\u2019re just a crank. <\/p>\n

Let us be clear: we are not talking here about questions of morality. Big issues, real questions, and philosophical differences are not merely the staff of life, but necessary ongoing debates. While a crank\u2019s crankiness may manifest in an adherence to social issues (and it often does), a true crank is equally committed to petty concerns, and, indeed, does not distinguish between the two.<\/p>\n

The term probably derives from the machine part. One of the earliest usages of the tiresome, eccentric sort dates from\u00a01833, and refers to the crank of a barrel organ: like an organ, a crank says the same thing over and over when wound up. (Cranky<\/em>\u2014sick from a creek or bed of water\u2014may be another culprit. Either way, it\u2019s not a compliment.)<\/p>\n

I consider myself something of an authority on the subject, because I come from a long line of cranks. I currently live in a crank hotbed, and have certainly become a crank myself. It genuinely upset me when Lizzy Caplan\u2019s CIA agent made\u00a0a lay\/lie error in The Interview<\/em>\u2014and believe me, this is the least of that movie\u2019s problems. When the baker in Into the Woods<\/em> confused me<\/em> and I<\/em>, I fumed. I knew it was stupid, but I couldn\u2019t help it\u2014and this is when you know you are a crank, when these petty things burn in your gut and become a personal affront.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Maybe some of it comes down to dynamism. Grammar: As kids, everyone is being taught at once, starting from roughly the same plane of ignorance. Then, at a certain age, people stop learning. You either know something or you don\u2019t, or you don\u2019t care, and chances are you\u2019re not going to change. As a result, other people are by default wrong<\/em> about things, and the question becomes what to do about this.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I suppose that is a question, too: Can you be a silent crank? That is, if you know in your heart that you are, but you keep silent and choose your battles and recognize that these things aren\u2019t important\u2014are you a normal person? Or are you just an organ that\u2019s been muffled, going to bed at seven and stewing over a grammatical mistake in a movie? Maybe it\u2019s the caring that makes the difference.<\/p>\n

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of\u00a0<\/em>The Paris Review, and the\u00a0<\/em>Daily\u2019s correspondent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are many benefits to being a grown-up. Using stoves unsupervised, buying things online, enjoying herring. As children suspect, you can set your own bedtime; as adults know, this can be as early as you like.\u00a0 One of the worst things\u2014besides the loss of innocence, I mean\u2014is becoming a crank. When you\u2019re a kid and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[15275,8769,7167,8667,16520,16523,16521,16524,16522],"class_list":["post-81317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-adulthood","tag-aging","tag-cranks","tag-eccentrics","tag-grammar-police","tag-growing-older","tag-into-the-woods","tag-opinion","tag-the-interview"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNotes on Becoming a Crank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sadie Stein joins the grammar police, much to her dismay.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2015\/01\/07\/notes-on-becoming-a-crank\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Notes on Becoming a Crank by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"January 7, 2015 \u2013 There are many benefits to being a grown-up. 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