{"id":8056,"date":"2010-11-25T00:00:27","date_gmt":"2010-11-25T05:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=8056"},"modified":"2010-11-24T22:44:46","modified_gmt":"2010-11-25T03:44:46","slug":"the-elusive-turkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2010\/11\/25\/the-elusive-turkey\/","title":{"rendered":"The Elusive Turkey"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"

Photograph by Danielle Spencer.<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cThis is like Top Chef<\/em>,\u201d I muttered. I was standing with my boyfriend, Fred, in the D\u2019Agostino\u2019s on Hudson Street, with exactly three hours on the clock until we were due to arrive at David Byrne\u2019s office in Soho bearing a turkey-shaped comestible made by me.<\/p>\n

I was a participant in the annual Todo Mundo Turkey Competition held by Danielle Spencer, Byrne\u2019s art director, and I had no idea what I was doing.<\/p>\n

Turkey competition? Let me explain. A few years back, Spencer ordered this mold<\/a> off the Internet. \u201cIt comes with this recipe,\u201d she explained to me<\/a> last year, \u201cwhere you can make it look realistic. You make peach Jell-O and add a little green food coloring and condensed milk, and it mixes into a sickly fleshlike substance. It\u2019s absolutely revolting. The only person who would touch it was David.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sign me up, I remember telling her. I\u2019ll totally<\/em> come next year. I have a billion ideas. Whether or not Danielle believed me, my mold arrived in the mail in October. I was confident I\u2019d come up with the perfect molded turkey\u2014the winning<\/em> molded turkey.<\/p>\n

And while ambition let me dream big, inertia was the more dangerous force. On the nights I had envisioned myself experimenting in the kitchen like Wylie Dufresne, I always found something else to do\u2014a party, drinks with a friend, work. The bird mold sat idly on my kitchen counter. Finally, with our one night of experimentation a flop (What were<\/em> we thinking with Taxi Turkey\u2014parts of a miniature yellow cab suspended in yellow Jell-O?), I woke up on the appointed day in a sweat.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about a wafer cake<\/a>. You know, we\u2019d soak the wafers in milk, and then we\u2019d mold them to the plastic? And then we\u2019ll just like, stick it on a big pile of whipped cream?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not understanding the physics of wafers,\u201d Fred sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not understanding my vision!\u201d I snapped.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how we managed to find ourselves in the baking aisle, staring at a row of chocolate syrup, scratching our heads. Inspiration was bound to strike. What about getting mangos and then slicing them into thin strips and creating a sort of gridded-strip mango turkey? Or what about smashing bread crumbs together and stuffing them into the mold? Can you freeze yogurt? Fred went off to gather all the mozzarella he could find. He had vague plans of melting the cheese down in a double boiler, then freezing it in the mold. He was going to call it Turkey Caprese. But what about me?<\/p>\n

Were mangos even in season? <\/p>\n

The more I tried to free my mind, the more it froze. Cindy Sherman and David Byrne were competing<\/a>, for chrissakes. I imagined arriving empty-handed or worse\u2014my turkey greeted with an embarrassed silence from Danielle. A wealthy looking couple parked their shopping cart next to mine, and picked up a box of cookies. Sade played over the speakers\u2014and there, just like that, nestled behind bags of cake flour, I saw it: four boxes of marzipan. I snagged them before the couple had a chance\u2014for the world had become my competitor.<\/p>\n

My plan was to bake a chocolate cake, whip up some buttercream, and shape it into featherlike sphere. I\u2019d dye the marzipan to a golden-brown color and press it into the Quiggle mold. Then I\u2019d unpeel the marzipan and stick it over the cake. Add some marzipan carrots and various turkey dressings, and voil\u00e0! A cake shaped like a turkey.<\/p>\n

Did I mention I had less than three hours?<\/p>\n

\"\"

Turkey Caprese and Marzi Turkey Cake. Photographs by Danielle Spencer.<\/p><\/div>\n

The moment we were ready to leave for the party, every cab in New York was switching shifts (we eventually hopped on a bus, and unveiled our creations to a curious gay couple). I won\u2019t forget jogging through the crush of Soho tourists, platter in hand, praying I didn\u2019t trip and fall flat on my face. We arrived just under the wire, and lined our faux fowl up along with the rest of the thirty contestants. Fred made his Turkey Caprese. I even saw David Byrne pick up a slice of basil, mozarella, and tomato, and take a bite. And my cake passed muster, it actually elicited a few oohs<\/em> and aahs<\/em> as it was sliced open with an electric carving knife. Sadly, it wasn\u2019t enough to win; that honor<\/a> was reserved for the creator of the Gobble Pop, a turkey-size stick of ice cream that, I have to admit, was first class. Where did she find an enormous ice-cream stick, I wondered? And how did she make that smooth chocolate exterior? \u201cI used coconut oil, and it\u2019s a paint stick,\u201d she began, accepting her medal on the temporary podium, surrounded by Byrne\u2019s various art projects. \u201cShhh!\u201d yelled someone in the crowd. \u201cDon’t give it away!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"

The Gobble Pop. Photograph by Danielle Spencer.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThis is like Top Chef,\u201d I muttered. I was standing with my boyfriend, Fred, in the D\u2019Agostino\u2019s on Hudson Street, with exactly three hours on the clock until we were due to arrive at David Byrne\u2019s office in Soho bearing a turkey-shaped comestible made by me. I was a participant in the annual Todo Mundo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[1423,1416,1419,1415,1422,1420,1418,1417,1421],"class_list":["post-8056","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-cake","tag-cindy-sherman","tag-danielle-spencer","tag-david-byrne","tag-marzipan","tag-qwiggle-turkey-mold","tag-todo-mundo","tag-turkey","tag-turkey-caprese"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Elusive Turkey by Thessaly La Force<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"November 25, 2010 \u2013 \u201cThis is like Top Chef,\u201d I muttered. 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