{"id":78413,"date":"2014-10-23T17:17:41","date_gmt":"2014-10-23T21:17:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=78413"},"modified":"2016-04-03T18:12:27","modified_gmt":"2016-04-03T22:12:27","slug":"all-the-news-not-fit-to-print","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/10\/23\/all-the-news-not-fit-to-print\/","title":{"rendered":"All the News Not Fit to Print"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_78483\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-78483\" class=\"wp-image-78483\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt.jpg\" alt=\"NTNYT\" width=\"600\" height=\"461\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt-300x231.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt-768x590.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/ntnyt-1024x787.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-78483\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u201cSounds as if they emptied the back room at Elaine\u2019s for this one.\u201d\u00a0\u2014Calvin Trillin, in 1978, speculating on the character of those behind <i>Not the New York Times<\/i>.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>The\u00a0<em>New York Times<\/em>\u00a0has seen surprisingly few interruptions in its 163-year history. The\u00a0paper\u00a0took five holidays in the early 1850s; a\u00a0strike in 1962\u20133 led to a nineteen-day blackout; another, in 1965, caused\u00a0four \u201cjoint\u201d publication dates, which combined the\u00a0Saturday and Sunday papers. And then there was 1978, when, from August 10 to November 4, a multiunion strike shuttered all three of New York City\u2019s major newspapers. No editions of the<em> Times<\/em>\u00a0were printed for a record-setting eighty-eight days.<\/p>\n<p>Two and a half months into the \u201978 strike, though\u2014and thirty-six years ago today\u2014New Yorkers awoke to find the\u00a0<em>Times\u00a0<\/em>unexpectedly back on newsstands, kind of. This was\u00a0<em>Not the New York Times<\/em>, a one-off parody rife with satirical news stories, faux advertisements, and farcical editorials. Among the items on the front page were an expos\u00e9 on an exotic new drug (\u201cpronounced ko-kayne\u201d and \u201cgenerally ingested nasally\u201d), a tedious seven-paragraph report written entirely in bureaucratese (\u201cCarter Forestalls Efforts To Defuse Discord Policy\u201d), and Mayor Koch\u2019s recipe for chicken curry. There was a weather notice, too: \u201cMostly present today, still there tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The spoof, it turned out, was the work of\u00a0<em>Paris Review<\/em>\u00a0founder George Plimpton and a handful of his friends, including Christopher Cerf (the ringleader), Tony Hendra, and Rusty Unger. Among those enlisted as \u201cjournalists\u201d were Carl Bernstein, Nora Ephron, and Terry Southern\u2014though none was exactly forthright about his or her contributions.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI had nothing to do with this,\u201d Cerf quipped. \u201cI can give you a list of other people who weren\u2019t involved as well. It\u2019s also not true that we used the Plimptons\u2019 apartment to put the paper together. I ought to know. I was there all week.\u201d Plimpton himself was unavailable for comment\u2014presumably tidying up after playing host to the editorial debauchery. (Incidentally,\u00a0<em>The Paris Review<\/em>\u2014also run out of Plimpton\u2019s Seventy-second Street apartment\u2014failed to meet its deadlines that fall; the staff was forced to merge its final two issues into a single Fall-Winter edition.) <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>The denials didn\u2019t stop with Cerf. According to coverage in that week\u2019s <em>Time<\/em> magazine,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Freddy Plimpton denied that her husband wrote a brilliant parody of Timesman Red Smith\u2019s sports column. Similarly,\u00a0<em>New Times<\/em>\u00a0Senior Editor Kevin Buckley denied that he and Frankie FitzGerald collaborated on the parody of Reston, and Tony Hendra, a former\u00a0<em>National Lampoon<\/em>\u00a0editor, denied that he posed for the photo of the Pope.<\/p>\n<p>Rusty Unger, a former book editor and\u00a0<em>Village Voice<\/em>\u00a0columnist, denied that the paper\u2019s 100,000-copy press run was printed by Garber Publishing Co. in Toledo, denied that Garber had agreed to finance the venture in return for the first $20,000 in revenues plus 30% of the rest, and denied that any profits from the venture would go to the Neediest Cases Fund that the\u00a0<em>New York Times<\/em>\u00a0sponsors each year.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>No one would deny, though, that the parody was an unqualified success. Despite its hefty one-dollar price tag\u2014five times the cost of a standard weekday <em>Times<\/em>\u2014<em>Not the New York Times<\/em>\u00a0quickly sold through its initial print run, and subsequent runs, according to\u00a0<em>Nieman Reports<\/em>, brought the final circulation numbers to at least 250,000. (Cerf later claimed that the paper sold \u201cmillions of copies.\u201d) Even the\u00a0<em>Times<\/em>\u00a0itself, whose management was reputedly sore for months after the paper first appeared, has since come to embrace<em>\u00a0<\/em>the \u201cpitch-perfect replica\u201d as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2008\/11\/15\/nyregion\/15about.html\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cthe modern standard for fake news.\u201d<\/a> Cerf, who went on to win three Grammys and eight Emmys (largely for his work writing songs for\u00a0<em>Sesame Street<\/em>), would later call it the highlight of his professional life. \u201cNobody slept for four weeks,\u201d he said in a 2011 <a href=\"http:\/\/harvardmagazine.com\/2011\/07\/channel-cerfing\" target=\"_blank\">interview<\/a> with\u00a0<em>Harvard Magazine<\/em>. \u201cOur big terror was that the strike would end and the real\u00a0<em>Times<\/em>\u00a0would start publishing again before we went to press. Luckily it didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The twenty-four-page paper opens with a jab at the brief tenure of <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Pope_John_Paul_I\" target=\"_blank\">Pope John Paul I<\/a>, then recently deceased, whose reign had lasted only thirty-three days. \u201cPope Dies Yet Again; Reign is Briefest Ever \/ Cardinals Return From Airport,\u201d reads the lead headline, attributed to one R. W. Papple, Jr. (a pseudonym for Carl Bernstein). It continues:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>ROME, Oct. 11 &#8212; Pope John Paul John Paul I, 264th Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, died this afternoon while administering the Papal benediction to thousands who had gathered in St. Peter\u2019s Square for his investiture. He served as pope for 19 minutes, the briefest reign in the history of the church.<\/p>\n<p>The cause of the Pope\u2019s death was not immediately clear. The 41-year-old Pontiff, formerly Archbishop of Liverpool and the first non-Italian to ascend the throne of St. Peter, collapsed in mid-sentence and toppled forward into a battery of microphones as he blessed the faithful who filled the square below.<\/p>\n<p>His last words, which were also his first as spiritual head of the world\u2019s 49 million Roman Catholics, were heard by millions who watched the ancient rite of investiture via communications satellite. Raising his hand to make the sign of the Cross, the Pope intoned, \u201cIn nomine patri\u201d and seemed to falter. He regained his speech momentarily, but only long enough to pronounce the next two words of the sacrament, \u201cet filio\u201d in a choking voice. Then he emitted a high-pitched squeal which many mistook as coming from the boy\u2019s choir and fell forward.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The paper strikes an uncannily familiar\u00a0tone throughout its three sections, and, visually, it\u2019s a dead ringer for the\u00a0<em>Times<\/em>, even down to the style of the bylines. Plimpton, et al., had discovered that Ohio\u2019s\u00a0<em>Toledo Blade<\/em>\u00a0made use of the\u00a0<em>Times<\/em>\u2019s typefaces, and the editorial crew was delighted when the\u00a0<em>Blade<\/em>\u2019s publisher agreed to print what was, by their own admission, \u201cAll the News Not Fit to Print.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But what\u2019s most impressive to me about\u00a0<em>Not the New York Times <\/em>isn\u2019t the caliber of its wit or the faithfulness\u00a0of its layout; it\u2019s the circumstances of its production. Gathering and hosting one\u2019s friends for a weeks-long parodyfest is the sort of activity you might expect from an enthusiastic undergraduate. (It\u2019s no surprise that most parody publications remain tied to universities.) But in the fall of 1978, George Plimpton was\u00a0fifty-one years old\u2014with a two-year-old son, no less\u2014and <em>still<\/em> he managed to host an estimated seventy or eighty people working twenty-four hours a day for four weeks.\u00a0If anything, <em>Not the New York Times<\/em>\u00a0is a\u00a0testament\u00a0to\u00a0his\u00a0boyish enthusiasm.<\/p>\n<p>Noticeably\u00a0lacking in all the retellings is an explanation for how so many professionals\u00a0avoided\u00a0<em>real<\/em> work for such an extended period of time. But, in typical Plimptonian fashion, no one seemed particularly interested in such\u00a0practical concerns. \u201cWe had a very good time with it,\u201d Cerf told the AP. \u201cIt\u2019s something that will be fun for the whole city.\u201d He then denied making the statement.<\/p>\n<p><em>Stephen Hiltner is the associate editor of <\/em>The Paris Review<em>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The\u00a0New York Times\u00a0has seen surprisingly few interruptions in its 163-year history. The\u00a0paper\u00a0took five holidays in the early 1850s; a\u00a0strike in 1962\u20133 led to a nineteen-day blackout; another, in 1965, caused\u00a0four \u201cjoint\u201d publication dates, which combined the\u00a0Saturday and Sunday papers. And then there was 1978, when, from August 10 to November 4, a multiunion strike shuttered [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[15767,15771,15768,14,7955,15765,10814,15770,15772,21779,15766,30,15769],"class_list":["post-78413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-15767","tag-carl-bernstein","tag-christopher-cerf","tag-george-plimpton","tag-nora-ephron","tag-not-the-new-york-times","tag-parodies","tag-rusty-unger","tag-spoofs","tag-stephen-hiltner","tag-strikes","tag-terry-southern","tag-tony-hendra"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>All the News Not Fit to Print by Stephen Hiltner<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"October 23, 2014 \u2013 The\u00a0New York Times\u00a0has seen surprisingly few interruptions in its 163-year history. 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