{"id":7742,"date":"2010-11-12T16:12:45","date_gmt":"2010-11-12T21:12:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=7742"},"modified":"2010-11-19T12:19:41","modified_gmt":"2010-11-19T17:19:41","slug":"drinking-away-writer%e2%80%99s-block-favors-for-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2010\/11\/12\/drinking-away-writer%e2%80%99s-block-favors-for-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Drinking Away Writer\u2019s Block; Favors for Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

This week \u201cAsk The Paris Review\u201d received a number of doozies, including a question about writer\u2019s block. It occurred to us we should kick that one over to a real writer\u2014ideally, a voluble one. Joshua Cohen<\/a>, author of<\/em> Witz<\/a> and<\/em> Cadenza for the Schneidermann Violin Concerto<\/a>, was kind enough to share his good counsel.<\/em> \u2014Lorin Stein<\/p>\n

\"\"I have been unable to write for the past three weeks, bordering on a month, and it hurts. More than the act of writing ever did. It hurts. More than the pain I no doubt cause others with poor literary attempts, but I\u2019ll have to go selfish on this one, even if it is poor writing, I\u2019d rather that than just blinking. So, do you have any tips or a potent elixir to kick writer’s block? Thank you. <\/em>\u2014Ayat Ghanem<\/p>\n

Dear Ayat, <\/p>\n

Glengoyne is a superior single-malt whisky distilled from barley that\u2019s dried by air and not by peat smoke. This unique process results in a spirit whose oaken, sherry, banana, apricot, peach, and marzipan nose contrasts pleasingly with\u2014who cares? You don\u2019t want to read bad tasting notes; you want to make better notes of your own\u2014n\u2019est-ce pas<\/em>? Thing is, there\u2019s no single cure for the Block (this is what serious writers call it; cf. the Clap, the Syph, the Herp). And the reason there\u2019s no single cure is that there\u2019s no single type of Block. The Block can be daylong, or weeklong; it can last for years (Truman Capote) or decades (Ralph Ellison, Henry Roth). I can\u2019t think of any other writers just now. <\/p>\n

Hold on\u2014let me top myself off. <\/p>\n

You might take comfort from the fact that while writing can\u2019t be forced, time spent not writing can be put to good use. Try acquiring other skills, like rolling cigarettes or reading. Learn to differentiate between scotch and bourbon. Learn the differences among corn whiskey, rye whiskey, and wheat whiskey. Learn what, if anything, separates whisky from whiskey. Ayat, take comfort from the fact that a writer does not always have to write\u2014and not all scotch comes from Scotland. <\/p>\n

Of course alcohol is only effective if it\u2019s mixed\u2014not with juices or sodas, you understand, but with narcotics. Speed weekly and hallucinogens monthly. Though the existence of ADD\/ADHD has never been scientifically proven, the drugs developed to address these disorders very much exist and are excellent: Ritalin, Adderall. Dextroamphetamines and regular amphetamines go together like love and marriage, like a horse and carriage \u2026 what was I saying? Let me just swallow these. OK. One second. <\/p>\n

Swall \u2026 owed. <\/p>\n

Finally, Ayat, don\u2019t discount the two greatest cures for the Block: plagiarism and suicide. Good luck!<\/p>\n

Someone whom I consider not exactly a friend but an acquaintance said some unkind words about me to another friend of mine. Of course, it got back to me. The other day, she asked me for a favor. Kind of a big one. She wants help promoting her new book. I would hate to be rude (and not respond), but at this point, I don’t want to help this person at all. What\u2019s the best way to handle this? <\/em> \u2014Annoyed Person<\/p>\n

Listen \u201cAnnoyed Person\u201d\u2014or should I just call you Sandra? It\u2019s enough. Tiff didn\u2019t say that shit to M., and anyway if she did say that shit we both know she was absolutely totally drunk because of her Writer\u2019s Block. So drunk she didn\u2019t know whether she had Writer\u2019s Block or Writers\u2019 Block. So utterly trashed she was unsure of the application of the plural possessive. Anyway, if Tiff did say what you think she said, that she thought you were wrong to have slept with K. so soon after they\u2019d broken up, that she thought the only reason you slept with K. so soon after they\u2019d broken up was because you\u2019d been evicted from your apartment and didn\u2019t have anywhere to sleep and no obliging girlfriends or gay friends with futons because you\u2019re essentially friendless, so what? Tiff was hurting<\/em>. And now, Sandra, by refusing to help her you\u2019re just hurting her worse. She spent years on this book. She spent the best part of her tightbodied twenties on this\u2014on nonfiction<\/em>! On nonfiction about gender inequality among the major religions! Pity her. She lived in Williamsburg for research, Hasidic<\/em> Williamsburg. She went to Gaza. Even after she didn\u2019t get that fellowship and had to pay her own way, she went! She learned Mandarin and converted to Russian Orthodoxy for fuck\u2019s sake! Sandra, everyone knows you\u2019re the best publicist in town. Because you go around telling everyone you\u2019re the best publicist in town. So just hook her up and be rid of her: NPR<\/em>, Good Morning America<\/em>, Comedy<\/em> motherfucking Central<\/em>; get her featured in one of those ridiculous New York Times<\/em> Style section pieces where they\u2019ll take pictures of that new apartment she bought with all her advance money and she gets to Botox smile and self-promote while showing off her cutesy interior-design touches, like how well she\u2019s hung her frying pans or how ingeniously she\u2019s stacked her shoes: \u201cI keep my paperbacks in the refrigerator. I\u2019m trying to make the most of a tight space.\u201d Hook her up and get her off my case (you don\u2019t think she\u2019s asked for a Paris Review<\/em> mention? Bitch emails excerpts at 3 A.M., cc:ing the entire masthead with subject headings like This Season\u2019s Must-Read<\/em>, and Pulitzers Schmulitzers, This Girl\u2019s Going to Stockholm!<\/em>). Sandra, I guess what I\u2019m saying is, be kind. Because one day you\u2019re going to write a book yourself and you\u2019ll need a blurb and by then you\u2019d have made Tiff so famous, made Tiff such a household name, that a blurb from her would do wonders for you: \u201cAn aching, heartbreaking memoir [\u2026] simultaneously a scathing indictment of the publicity industry and a private tour of one young woman\u2019s heart.\u201d Also, you shouldn\u2019t have slept with K.<\/p>\n

Have a question for <\/em>The Paris Review? E-mail<\/a> us.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week \u201cAsk The Paris Review\u201d received a number of doozies, including a question about writer\u2019s block. It occurred to us we should kick that one over to a real writer\u2014ideally, a voluble one. Joshua Cohen, author of Witz and Cadenza for the Schneidermann Violin Concerto, was kind enough to share his good counsel. \u2014Lorin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":87,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[57,1328,1327,456,1297],"class_list":["post-7742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-the-paris-review","tag-advice","tag-drinking","tag-joshua-cohen","tag-lorin-stein","tag-writers-block"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDrinking Away Writer\u2019s Block; Favors for Friends by Joshua Cohen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"November 12, 2010 \u2013 This week \u201cAsk The Paris Review\u201d received a number of doozies, including a question about writer\u2019s block. 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