{"id":74543,"date":"2014-07-25T13:34:24","date_gmt":"2014-07-25T17:34:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=74543"},"modified":"2014-07-25T14:57:32","modified_gmt":"2014-07-25T18:57:32","slug":"even-the-losers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/07\/25\/even-the-losers\/","title":{"rendered":"Even the Losers"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"DCIM102GOPRO\"<\/a>

A drone\u2014yes, really\u2014photographed the action at our game against New York<\/i>. Photo: Alon Sicherman, Center for the Study of the Drone<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

Even the losers
Keep a little bit of pride
\u2014Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

About a month ago, when I last wrote about The Paris Review<\/em>\u2019s softball team<\/a>, I called us \u201cdamn fine.\u201d \u201cThe Parisians are on something of a hot streak,\u201d I had the gall to say, noting that we\u2019d \u201cmet with defeat only once, at the hands of The Nation<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then July happened.<\/p>\n

Reader, you gaze upon the words of a broken man. (Specifically a broken right fielder.) Today, that \u201cdamn fine\u201d is inflected with callow hubris; that \u201chot streak\u201d runs lukewarm. After three more games\u2014against Vanity Fair<\/em>, New York<\/em>, and n+1<\/em>\u2014our season is over, and our win-loss record is a measly 4-4.<\/p>\n

\"Scorecard-(2014-05-22)\"<\/a>

When we were good: the scorecard of this season\u2019s first game, against DC Comics.<\/p><\/div>\n

The close of yesterday\u2019s game found us supine on the Astroturf, wondering: What happened back there? That\u2019s for history to decide, or the trolls in the comments section. Whatever the case, our early, easy victories against the likes of The New Yorker<\/em> and Harper\u2019s <\/em>now seem like distant memories.<\/p>\n

The trouble started with our game against Vanity Fair<\/em>, whose chic black-on-black uniforms belied their brutish athleticism. (And their trash talking: \u201cDon\u2019t just tweet<\/em> about it,\u201d shouted their third-base coach, \u201cbe<\/em> about it.\u201d) They eked out a 5-4 victory; I ate some of their pizza in recompense. Our spirits were still high enough, at that point, for a group photo: <\/p>\n

\"photo\"<\/a>

After the loss to Vanity Fair<\/i>, with our team mascot, Mischief II.<\/p><\/div>\n

Alas, that loss was only a harbinger of the slaughter to come. Our next challenger was New York<\/em>, and even though a TPR<\/em> ringer brought a drone to the game\u2014its photography can be seen above\u2014our opponents were unruffled. They hit dinger after dinger; they even hit the scoreboard. We stopped counting their runs, eventually, and passed around a jar of whiskey and a box of donuts instead.<\/p>\n

And then there was n+1<\/em>, whose early homers gave them an insurmountable lead. This season\u2019s MBP (Most Beleaguered Player) Award goes to our beloved Justin Alvarez, who faced derision yesterday for his faultless pitching. \u201cI remember you,\u201d an n+1<\/em> staffer told him at the bar after the game, when everyone was supposed to cultivate camaraderie. \u201cYou threw those weak pitches.\u201d I mention this disgraceful behavior in the hope that n+1<\/em> will be shamed into kindness after future victories, should any occur.<\/p>\n

So ends another summer of softball. To quote Bull Durham<\/em>: \u201cIt\u2019s a long season and you gotta trust it. I\u2019ve tried \u2019em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of [Beer-League Soft]ball.\u201d<\/p>\n

See you next summer on the diamond, everyone. We\u2019ll bring the drone; you bring the heat.<\/p>\n

5\/22
TPR: 15
<\/strong>DC Comics: 5<\/p>\n

6\/1
TPR: 13
<\/strong>The New York Review of Books: 2
*featuring the first-ever Paris Review<\/em> triple play<\/p>\n

6\/5
TPR: 8
The Nation: 15
<\/strong>
6\/24
TPR: 11
<\/strong>The New Yorker: 6<\/p>\n

6\/26
TPR: 16
<\/strong>Harper\u2019s: 1<\/p>\n

7\/1
TPR: 4
Vanity Fair: 5
<\/strong>
7\/7
TPR: 5
New York: \u221e
<\/strong>
7\/24
TPR: 4
n+1: 10<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Even the losers Keep a little bit of pride\u2014Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers About a month ago, when I last wrote about The Paris Review\u2019s softball team, I called us \u201cdamn fine.\u201d \u201cThe Parisians are on something of a hot streak,\u201d I had the gall to say, noting that we\u2019d \u201cmet with defeat only once, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[10650,269,14741,208,124,20538,92,426,14742,50],"class_list":["post-74543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-softball","tag-bull-durham","tag-magazines","tag-media-league","tag-n1","tag-new-york","tag-softball","tag-summer","tag-the-paris-review","tag-the-sporting-life","tag-vanity-fair"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEven the Losers by Dan Piepenbring<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" 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