{"id":74300,"date":"2014-07-22T17:55:48","date_gmt":"2014-07-22T21:55:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=74300"},"modified":"2014-07-22T17:55:48","modified_gmt":"2014-07-22T21:55:48","slug":"the-crack-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/07\/22\/the-crack-up\/","title":{"rendered":"The Crack-Up"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Raachermannel_Computer\"<\/a>

Image via Markscheider\/Wikimedia Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

For longer than I care to admit, I have been unable to scroll down on my computer. This is only the latest in a series of laptop-related inconveniences, but, given the nature of my employment, is something of a problem. If you manage to catch the scrolling bar to the far right of the screen, you can generally navigate okay, but if you relax your vigilance for a moment and move your cursor, that option is closed, and it is necessary to refresh the screen. At least, that\u2019s the only way I know how to do it.<\/p>\n

I have lived without video and Flash capacity for some five months now, and it has been a rich, full life, but this scrolling situation seems untenable. I am going to have to go to the Genius Bar, a prospect I dread.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that I mind the trip, the wait, or even the well-deserved condescension of the Geniuses. At least this time around, there is no varicolored crayon wax mysteriously covering my computer, leading me to mumble some absurd, half-formed lie that implied I either had small children or was a\u00a0preschool teacher. I\u2019m just terrified that they\u2019re going to tell me the computer can\u2019t be saved, that the scrolling is indicative of a more serious\u2014terminal\u2014illness. (From this you might imagine how conscientiously I deal with actual medical issues.) <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not quite so far gone as to be blind to the madness of this behavior\u2014like one of those people on Hoarders<\/em> who sort of knows he has a lot of stuff, but clearly doesn\u2019t really believe it\u2019s a problem. I have enough sanity to be humiliated, and the final words of \u201cThese Days\u201d drone endlessly in my head:<\/p>\n

Please don\u2019t confront me with my failures \/ I had not forgotten them.<\/em><\/p>\n

In such moments, I feel a certain futility, as if to do something normal and efficient might imply that I was, in fact, a normal and efficient person. Which, of course, would be a sham. And so the self-doubt fulfills itself.<\/p>\n

In my defense, it\u2019s next to impossible to make an appointment at the Genius Bar when you can\u2019t navigate your computer screen. It\u2019s a catch-22 they really ought to address. In fact, the more I think about it, this really isn\u2019t my problem at all. I think it\u2019s institutional. It hints at something deep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For longer than I care to admit, I have been unable to scroll down on my computer. This is only the latest in a series of laptop-related inconveniences, but, given the nature of my employment, is something of a problem. If you manage to catch the scrolling bar to the far right of the screen, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[1981,14692,14690,14691,8476,13156],"class_list":["post-74300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-computers","tag-efficiency","tag-genius-bar","tag-hoarders","tag-medicine","tag-repairs"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Crack-Up<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sadie Stein mourns the death of a computer.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/07\/22\/the-crack-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Crack-Up by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"July 22, 2014 \u2013 For longer than I care to admit, I have been unable to scroll down on my computer. 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