{"id":68464,"date":"2014-03-21T15:20:49","date_gmt":"2014-03-21T19:20:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=68464"},"modified":"2014-03-21T15:58:09","modified_gmt":"2014-03-21T19:58:09","slug":"a-few-notes-on-presiding-over-the-punch-bowl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/03\/21\/a-few-notes-on-presiding-over-the-punch-bowl\/","title":{"rendered":"A Few Notes on Presiding over the Punch Bowl"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"A_Midnight_Modern_Conversation\"<\/a>

William Hogarth, A Midnight Modern Conversation<\/i>, 1730<\/p><\/div>\n

March 21st was my maternal grandparents\u2019 wedding anniversary; they were married in 1946 in Silver Spring, Maryland, my grandmother\u2019s hometown. As a child I loved to pore over the Silver Spring Standard<\/i> wedding notice in her scrapbook, which contained lines like, \u201cThe church was massed with spring blossoms, a fitting setting for the exquisite beauty of the bride herself, in her ethereal white marquisette gown and flowing lace.\u201d (\u201cTERRIBLE write-up,\u201d my grandmother had written in the margins.)<\/p>\n

What struck me lately, as I reread the notice yet again, was the range of tasks assigned to the wedding guests. The maid of honor and best man were duly accounted for, but there was also this: \u201cMrs. Elizabeth McLean presided at the coffee urn and Miss Mary Roberts at the punch bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n

A cursory Internet search shows that this was indeed a thing: if you google \u201cpresided over punch bowl\u201d or \u201cpresided over coffee urn,\u201d you\u2019ll come across a raft of vintage wedding and party notices, all of which describe the dispensing of beverages. What I really wanted to know is, was this duty\u2014which sounds dull, potentially messy, and interminable\u2014considered an honor, or was it a sort of booby prize for extra relatives? \u201cPresides\u201d has a regal ring, but the task itself sounds akin to light drudgery. <\/p>\n

One also wonders whether the punch-bowl president was supposed to be a sort of killjoy: one recollection of a Savannah New Year\u2019s\u00a0party<\/a> mentions that, as a rule, \u201cOne of the hostess\u2019 best friends, dressed in a hoop-skirted gown, presided over the punch bowl, guarding it carefully in case a jokester decided to drop in a bit of bourbon.\u201d Another write-up references \u201cthe three married women who presided over the punch bowl,\u201d suggesting\u00a0that this was no job for an untried virgin.<\/p>\n

The most recent iteration of Emily Post, in her section on receiving lines, has only this to say: \u201cWhen the receiving line is held at the reception site, have a waiter offer a variety of drinks\u2014juice, punch, sparking or still water, Champagne\u2014to those waiting in line. Be sure to have a small table where guests can place their drinks before going through the line.\u201d Clearly, this is not a position that enjoys the respect it was once due, at least in some places. But think about it: who else \u201cpresides\u201d at a wedding? The officiant, that\u2019s who. The punch-bowl and coffee-urn women are, in their way, second in importance only to the law and God<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Here is the most unlikely thing I found, from a 2001 edition of New Jersey\u2019s Amityville Record<\/i>:<\/p>\n

\n

On Sunday, December 10, the Amityville Historical Society held its annual Christmas Party featuring Santa for the children, Alan Lush entertaining at the keyboard in the front parlor, and Joe and Theresa Guidice performing on harp and flute in the back room where Chairwoman Barbara Guidice presided over the punch bowl and the hors d\u2019oeuvres.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And that really just confuses everything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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As a child I loved to pore over the Silver Spring Standard wedding notice in her scrapbook, which contained lines like, \u201cThe church was massed with spring blossoms, a fitting setting for the exquisite beauty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13115],"tags":[13270,13269,540,13268,604],"class_list":["post-68464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-celebrations","tag-drinks","tag-party-etiquette","tag-punch-bowl","tag-weddings"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Few Notes on Presiding over the Punch Bowl by Sadie Stein<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"March 21, 2014 \u2013 March 21st was my maternal grandparents\u2019 wedding anniversary; they were married in 1946 in Silver Spring, Maryland, my grandmother\u2019s hometown. 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