{"id":64853,"date":"2014-01-13T17:10:46","date_gmt":"2014-01-13T22:10:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=64853"},"modified":"2014-03-07T13:58:17","modified_gmt":"2014-03-07T18:58:17","slug":"only-connect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Connect"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"missed<\/a>

Photo: David, Bergin, Emmett, and Elliot, via Flickr<\/p><\/div>\n

Many years ago, when Missed Connections, the creepy\/romantic online personal ads, still felt like a big deal, one friend of mine claimed he had received not one, not two, but three such Craigslist missives from enamored young ladies. The guy in question was attractive enough, but even by the notoriously unequal standards of New York City mating culture, this did seem excessive. What\u2019s more, as I pointed out, he was obviously poring over \u201cNew York City\/W4M\u201d every day in hopes of said ego boosts.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d he said. \u201cEvery time, I\u2019d had a hunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

He went on a date with one of them\u2014a girl with whom he\u2019d made intense eye contact on the F train following a Cyclones game\u2014and it didn\u2019t really go anywhere. But that\u2019s okay because now he\u2019s happily married to a lovely woman, and they have two adorable children. <\/p>\n

Around this period, I was working in a clothing store in south Brooklyn, and when things were slow and the store free of customers, sometimes we would idly surf Missed Connections. By sometimes, I obviously mean daily, and by idly, I obviously mean \u201cM4W,\u201d \u201cGlasses,\u201d \u201cBig Glasses,\u201d \u201cYankee Doodle Coffee Shop tote bag,\u201d \u201cTyrolean hat,\u201d the titles of whatever books we were reading at the time, and, of\u00a0 course, our respective train lines and neighborhoods.\u00a0Although disappointment was inevitable, we saw many fascinating things in our online travels, and our literal commutes took on new purpose.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo dice,\u201d I said sadly to my ex-boyfriend one day while we were eating panelle<\/em> specials at Ferdinando\u2019s. \u201cI just don\u2019t think it\u2019s meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next day, I found the following: \u201cSPLEEN, M4W, Brooklyn. You: Bespectacled Moomintroll in moth-eaten sweater. Furious. Eating panelle special.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThx,\u201d I texted my ex-boyfriend.<\/p>\n

The next time I saw him, I learned that three women had responded to his ad. One had included a photograph of her Moomin figurine collection.<\/p>\n

Not long after, I met a nice guy at a neighborhood bar, who talked about Here Is New York<\/i> and asked if he could get my number.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if you send me a missed connection,\u201d I declared, because these were the depths to which I had sunk.<\/p>\n

Sure enough, there it was: \u201cE.\u2009B. White,\u201d ran the title. And then, \u201cStill eighteen inches,\u201d which sounds kind of lewd but is, in fact, a line from a rather romantic part of the book.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I have to go out with him now, huh?\u201d I said to my coworker. She said I did. And then we dated for seven years.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/center><\/p>\n

It has been many years since I checked Missed Connections. Today, for some reason, I did. I clicked on \u201cgirl with limp at hana deli\u2014m4w 36 (bushwick),\u201d \u201cNew Years Infected Mushroom-Best Buy Theatre\u2014m4w 27 (Midtown),\u201d and \u201cPlanned Parenthood Nurse\u20141\/10\u2014Mott street\u2014m4w 28 (East Village),\u201d but not because I was looking for myself. I suppose I figured if I wanted online love, there were less mystical ways to go about it. And, whatever the the appeal of starstruck urban love in a hopeless place, I had long since given up on catching a mysterious stranger\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n

A few months ago I was crying on the subway, which is always embarrassing, and I am an ugly crier at the best of times.<\/p>\n

I had sort of forgotten about the crying jag until last week, when I heard footsteps approaching me rapidly, as if to catch up, and someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was a guy I didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d he said. \u201cI saw you crying on the subway a few weeks ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d I said. \u201cYeah. That wasn\u2019t a great day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said. \u201cIt didn\u2019t look like it. So, um \u2026 are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

I stared at him blankly. \u201cNow?\u201d I said. \u201cYeah. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you seemed \u2026 upset,\u201d he trailed off lamely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s very nice of you to check in,\u201d I said. \u201cThat means a lot.\u201d And then I left, because I had somewhere to be. I am not sure the encounter was what either of us would have hoped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many years ago, when Missed Connections, the creepy\/romantic online personal ads, still felt like a big deal, one friend of mine claimed he had received not one, not two, but three such Craigslist missives from enamored young ladies. The guy in question was attractive enough, but even by the notoriously unequal standards of New York […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4393,13115],"tags":[12534,12535,11330],"class_list":["post-64853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-person","category-our-daily-correspondent","tag-craigslist-missed-connections","tag-ferdinandos-foccacceria","tag-moomintroll"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSadie Stein on Missed Connections<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"January 13, 2014 \u2013 Many years ago, when Missed Connections, the creepy\/romantic online personal ads, still felt like a big deal, one friend of mine claimed he had received\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Only Connect by Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"January 13, 2014 \u2013 Many years ago, when Missed Connections, the creepy\/romantic online personal ads, still felt like a big deal, one friend of mine claimed he had received\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Paris Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/parisreview\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-01-13T22:10:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-03-07T18:58:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/missed-connections.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sadie Stein\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sadie Stein\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Sadie Stein\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/a1aef49f81bfc540a37e03590f3bb4d9\"},\"headline\":\"Only Connect\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-01-13T22:10:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-03-07T18:58:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/\"},\"wordCount\":720,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/13\/only-connect\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/missed-connections.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Craigslist. 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