{"id":64375,"date":"2014-01-06T12:00:12","date_gmt":"2014-01-06T17:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=64375"},"modified":"2014-03-08T15:02:27","modified_gmt":"2014-03-08T20:02:27","slug":"recapping-dante-canto-12-or-a-concerned-parent-contacts-the-fcc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2014\/01\/06\/recapping-dante-canto-12-or-a-concerned-parent-contacts-the-fcc\/","title":{"rendered":"Recapping Dante: Canto 12, or A Concerned Parent Contacts the FCC"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Dante0033\"<\/a>

Gustave Dor\u00e9, Canto XII, lines 73, 74.<\/p><\/div>\n

This winter, we\u2019re recapping<\/a> the <\/em>Inferno. Read along<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n

To whom it may concern:<\/p>\n

For the last several months my child has been watching the program The Inferno<\/i>. I\u2019ve had concerns about the moral integrity of this show since the beginning, but a recent episode, \u201cCanto 12: Dante with a Vengeance\u201d is perhaps the worst of it. The episode, which I heard about from my son and then felt concerned enough to watch myself, begins as the two main characters meet a Minotaur. I\u2019m not trying to have my son indoctrinated with pagan dogma. I mean, what is this? I\u2019ll let my son watch a show about talking vegetables so long as they\u2019re telling the stories of Christ, but there\u2019s something so frighteningly glib about the mythological image of a Minotaur being placed in front of children. Is no one worried about the future of American youth? And while we\u2019re on it, let\u2019s talk about these Virgil and Dante fellows. There\u2019s something going on there, and I can tell you exactly what: sin.<\/p>\n

But it gets worse. As the two sodomites (let\u2019s call them what they are) travel past the creature, they\u2019re surrounded by a series of centaurs. And I\u2019ll tell you the exact same thing I told the executives at Warner Brothers when the fifth Harry Potter film had a scene with centaurs. The centaur is obviously a product of sin. And animal cruelty.<\/p>\n

Allow me to set my faith aside for a minute, because the worst of The Inferno<\/i> is not in its hunger for blasphemy. This is the work of a very, very sick mind. \u201cCanto 12\u201d prominently features a river of boiling blood in which the sinners are confined. Should they pop their heads too high, the centaurs pelt them with arrows. The whole scene is very graphic, and the blood looks very real. How do you even come up with that? <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t even begin to tell you all the questions my son asked after seeing this episode. Whose blood is it? What does boiling blood feel like? Can we boil blood when we get home?<\/i> Of course the blood river is for violent sinners, but even I have a limit for punishing evil. Doesn\u2019t Satan have a sense of moderation? I\u2019d like a show that teaches my kid moderation. Alexander and Dionysius are present (and I\u2019m certain those two are having a blast hanging out in a bath of frothing blood together for all of eternity). Attila was there as well. And so I can\u2019t help but feel that this show is very anticolonialist, and I don\u2019t know what they do in the USSR, or wherever you liberal pinko bureaucrats are from, but I\u2019ll have you know that here in America we owe everything to colonial sympathizers.<\/p>\n

My son also pointed out that the punishment fit the crime very well. Violence, blood, whatever. I was hoping to wait a few more years before sitting him down and explaining what irony is, but that moment has passed and this show has derailed my parental agenda. Let\u2019s just hope Dante never finds Beatrice, because I\u2019m definitely not ready to have that<\/i> talk yet.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s get back to the river of blood. There is literally an entire river of blood and people burning in it. How on earth (or how the hell, if you will) did that slip past you guys? What kind of operation are you running here?<\/p>\n

If you want to be the ones to comfort my child when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying because had a dream that a centaur was going to lead him into a bath of scalding blood, and then abandon him in hell, leaving him to the device of a dead Roman poet, then by all means, keep this show on the air. Until then, please consider investigating the entire writing and production team of The Inferno<\/i>. If you do, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll find them all very deserving of a nice trip to Guantanamo.<\/p>\n

Cordially,<\/p>\n

An American mother<\/p>\n

To catch up on our Dante series, click here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Alexander Aciman is the author of <\/em>Twitterature<\/a>. He has written for the <\/em>New York Times, <\/em>Tablet, the <\/em>Wall Street Journal, and <\/em>TIME. Follow him on Twitter at @acimania<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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