{"id":37738,"date":"2012-08-28T16:00:22","date_gmt":"2012-08-28T20:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=37738"},"modified":"2012-08-28T16:25:28","modified_gmt":"2012-08-28T20:25:28","slug":"gurley-girls-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2012\/08\/28\/gurley-girls-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Gurley Girls"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/cosmo2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-37772\" title=\"cosmo2\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/cosmo2-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/cosmo2-223x300.jpg 223w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/cosmo2.jpg 625w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I was one of the last to get in on the sexual revolution, letting the other virgins sprint out of the starting gate ahead of me. Though sex wasn\u2019t formally a competitive sport, in the sixties it could feel like a relay race with men and herpes being passed along by Team America. <em>Cosmo<\/em> girls were encouraged to be players\u2014to experiment, seduce, and manipulate &#8230; in no particular order. For seventy-five cents, we got monthly tips on being alluring and adventurous. Our coach was Helen Gurley Brown.<\/p>\n<p>In those early days of <em>Cosmopolitan<\/em>, we ripped into each new issue to find out \u201cHow You Can Become a More Likeable, Secure, and Less Jittery Person &#8230; and Change Your Life.\u201d You might think that, having read that, you would never need another self-help article, but Helen Gurley Brown had endless ways of tapping into our self-doubts while simultaneously giving us license to lust. Virtue was no longer a virtue. The shame connected to sex that our mothers had tattooed on our DNA was suddenly spun on its head by a woman who never had a daughter. And maybe that\u2019s why she made so free with recipes to heat up the bedroom, renovating what was done in bed the way <em>Better Homes and Gardens<\/em> had our bedrooms.  We could now have orgasms along with mismatched bedside tables.<\/p>\n<p>Even if we didn\u2019t manage to snag one of the Bachelors of the Month, we might consider other options after reading, say, \u201cThe Undiscovered Joys of Having a Chinese Lover,\u201d \u201cShould You be Faithful to Somebody Else\u2019s Husband,\u201d \u201cBuddy-Flirting\u2014the Bold, New Way of Having Him Notice and Like You,\u201d \u201cFoot Fetishes: The Trade Secrets of the Sexiest Ladies in History,\u201d and \u201cWhen He Wants You to Make the Orgy.\u201d Married women, often overlooked, could learn \u201cHow to Get Our Husbands to Love Us Like a Mistress.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>With the SATs behind me, <em>Cosmo<\/em> quizzes reflected my value, showing indisputably if I was a good lover, a bad girl, mysterious, inhibited, or an oversharer. Though these were untimed tests and there was no Dean\u2019s List, I was as tense as I\u2019d been during college finals. This was, after all, <em>how guys perceived me<\/em>. And for those of us a bit too old to be Baby Boomers, being a man magnet was still the all-important pass\/fail at that time. A \u201cgentleman\u2019s C\u201d just wouldn\u2019t do it. Getting a man was next to godliness &#8230; even if it was as impossible to believe in a man as in a deity.<\/p>\n<p>The centerfold pictures of Burt Reynolds, Senator Scott Brown, and Arnold Schwarzenegger sent the same message as <em>Playboy<\/em>\u2019s\u2014that physical attributes were the big draw. Of course, Helen Gurley Brown herself would never have been a Bunny, and this was a crucial element in the magazine\u2019s credibility.  Like Dr. Ruth, HGB made it clear that sex wasn\u2019t only for cover girls.  If these women could romp around naked, so could we!<\/p>\n<p>Of course, there were clothes. The magazine dressed us for undressing. <em>Cosmo<\/em> asked what Donald Sutherland, Johnny Cash, Tom Jones, Cary Grant, Richard Burton, Bob Newhart, Charlton Heston, Lee Marvin, and George Segal liked a girl to wear, and let us know. I didn\u2019t have enough money or closet space to please them all, but it was comforting to know that if Lee Marvin called, I wouldn\u2019t screw up by wearing the outfit that Bob Newhart would have wanted to tear off me.<\/p>\n<p>HGB made breasts front and center, setting the stage for <em>Cosmo<\/em> contributor Nora Ephron\u2019s lament that size does indeed matter. It is perhaps natural that their paths should have intersected. While sharing intimate feelings about breasts, necks, and other body parts, both women, in different ways, were speaking for us and to us. Indeed, I would argue that these two women (in addition, of course, to the feminist leaders and the woman who gave us Spanx) in their way had the greatest impact of any on my age group. They raised expectations in bedrooms and screening rooms, demonstrating that women are sexual and funny, strong yet self-effacing, have small breasts or get new ones paid for by Medicare, stay thin while regularly eating in great restaurants, and that we can dream without losing sight of reality. Each knew the importance of a happy ending\u2014Nora\u2019s on the screen and Helen\u2019s in bed. <\/p>\n<p><em>Sybil Sage, one of the early female comedy writers, went from working as Carl Reiner\u2019s secretary to writing for TV. Credits include <\/em> <span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><span style=\"font-family: georgia,serif;\"><\/span><\/span>The Mary Tyler Moore Show<em>,<\/em> Alice<em>,<\/em> Barney Miller<em>,<\/em> Northern Exposure<em>, and<\/em> Lily Tomlin. <em>She is working on her first (and last) memoir and has an encore career as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sybilsage.com\" target=\"_blank\">a mosaic artist<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>[tweetbutton]<\/p>\n<p>[facebook_ilike]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was one of the last to get in on the sexual revolution, letting the other virgins sprint out of the starting gate ahead of me. Though sex wasn\u2019t formally a competitive sport, in the sixties it could feel like a relay race with men and herpes being passed along by Team America. Cosmo girls [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":401,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[8532,1508,7955],"class_list":["post-37738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-cosmopolitan","tag-helen-gurley-brown","tag-nora-ephron"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Gurley Girls by Sybil Sage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"August 28, 2012 \u2013 I was one of the last to get in on the sexual revolution, letting the other virgins sprint out of the starting gate ahead of me. 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