{"id":33078,"date":"2012-06-08T14:57:23","date_gmt":"2012-06-08T18:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=33078"},"modified":"2012-06-08T16:41:51","modified_gmt":"2012-06-08T20:41:51","slug":"what-books-impress-a-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2012\/06\/08\/what-books-impress-a-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Paris Review, What Books Impress a Girl?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Paris Review,<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone sent me this text message yesterday: <\/em>\u201cWhat<\/em>\u2019s a book I should read to make girls think I’m smart in a hot way? I want to seem like a douchey intellectual instead of my deadbeat self.<\/em>\u201d What should I tell him?<\/em><\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/em>
A<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear A,<\/p>\n

The correct answer is probably that your friend should be secure in his tastes, find someone who loves him for who he is, and not worry about impressing anyone. Many movies have demonstrated the pitfalls of posturing and the inevitable public unmasking that follows. That said, our job here is to try to answer questions, and as such, I took the unusual step of soliciting a range of answers from both men and women.\u00a0 (My own immediate response was to offer the following formula: worst book of great author, a gambit that men of this type also apply to albums, i.e. Metal Machine Music, <\/em>which they will claim is underrated.) Then too, there is the dual nature of the question: Does the author wish to come across as a poseur for some reason, or attract a woman of substance?\u00a0 If his goal is (inexplicably) the former, the female contingent offered the following names: Madness and Civilization; The Power Broker; <\/em>\u017di\u017eek (any), The Brothers Karamazov<\/em>. (All worthy reads, needless to say, but often used for ostentatious or intimidating purposes.) And, added one, \u201cI like DFW, but he\u2019s the novelist equivalent of a neg.\u201d<\/p>\n

As to books the women whom I spoke to found appealing (and please note that this implies actual reading, not use as props): At Swim Two Birds, The Beauty Myth, <\/em>\u201cany book read twice.\u201d Elaborated one: \u201cExtra points for Martin Amis memoir, minus points for other Martin Amis nonfiction. Someone who actually appears to be reading William Gaddis for real and not just carrying it around will always rate a second glance. And\u00a0a straight man reading Mary Gaitskill would be nearly irresistible to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

When faced with the same question, male correspondents provided the following terse responses: \u201cCantos<\/em>, Pound.\u201d \u201cKathy Acker.\u201d \u201cSontag.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPortnoy<\/em>\u2019s Complaint,<\/em>\u201d said one, \u201cmay as well be Yiddish for douche<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Others were more expansive. \u201cHow about Laszlo Kraszahorkai\u2019s Satantango<\/em>?\u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0ostentatious, hip, handsomely designed (looks great on a bedside table), and comes with seals of approval from Sontag, Sebald, and James Wood. It is also, for the most part, unreadable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGravity<\/em>\u2019s Rainbow,<\/em> all the completed Caro LBJ books, Brothers Karamazov<\/em>. But if you really want \u2018I am a brooding intellectual with an effortless knowledge of contemporary culture,\u2019 I think Matterhorn <\/em>is tough to top.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a difference,\u201d remarked one colleague, \u201cbetween getting a girl to think you\u2019re smart, and getting a girl to WANT to talk to you. The following are books that will make girls want to talk to you.<\/p>\n

\u2014Greatest pick-up book of all time is Just Kids<\/em> by Patti Smith, because every girl has read it and they ALL want to talk about it.
\u2014Any book ever written by Haruki Murakami
\u2014The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis<\/em>
\u2014White Album<\/em> by Joan Didion
\u2014What We Talk About, When We Talk About Love<\/em> by Raymond Carver
\u2014The Phantom Tollbooth <\/em>by Norton Juster. (Don\u2019t question it. Just trust.)\u201d<\/p>\n

And in corroboration, one fellow says: \u201cIf it means anything, the only time a girl ever sat down and started talking to me out of nowhere was when I was reading Slouching Towards\u00a0Bethlehem<\/em> in college. \u00a0Didion has an effect on people.\u201d<\/p>\n

Take this for what it\u2019s worth, and we hope you actually find a book you love in the process.<\/p>\n

Have a question for the editors of <\/em>The Paris Review? E-mail<\/a> us.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Paris Review, Someone sent me this text message yesterday: \u201cWhat\u2019s a book I should read to make girls think I’m smart in a hot way? I want to seem like a douchey intellectual instead of my deadbeat self.\u201d What should I tell him? Sincerely,A Dear A, The correct answer is probably that your friend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[57,60,17,154,7819,3115,1362,7820,7821,576,852,99,263,7035,501,7818,7817],"class_list":["post-33078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-the-paris-review","tag-advice","tag-advice-column","tag-books","tag-david-foster-wallace","tag-dostoyevsky","tag-ezra-pound","tag-joan-didion","tag-kathy-acker","tag-laszlo-kraszahorkai","tag-lydia-davis","tag-patti-smith","tag-philip-roth","tag-raymond-carver","tag-robert-caro","tag-susan-sontag","tag-the-brothers-karamazov","tag-zizek"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDear Paris Review, What Books Impress a Girl? by Sadie Stein<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"June 8, 2012 \u2013 Dear Paris Review, Someone sent me this text message yesterday: \u201cWhat\u2019s a book I should read to make girls think I'm smart in a hot way? 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