{"id":31342,"date":"2012-05-10T15:06:38","date_gmt":"2012-05-10T19:06:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=31342"},"modified":"2012-05-10T16:43:26","modified_gmt":"2012-05-10T20:43:26","slug":"dear-pete-campbell-a-word-of-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2012\/05\/10\/dear-pete-campbell-a-word-of-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Pete Campbell, A Word of Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Dear Pete Campbell,<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve always creeped me out. This isn\u2019t entirely your fault. You can blame your parents for the beady eyes and the cheeks as yet untouched by razor; for your emotional immaturity; for the fortune they squandered and the love they withheld; and for the Waspy sense of privilege they nonetheless managed to confer on your skinny ass.<\/p>\n

And so I don\u2019t hate you, Pete, as others are wont to do. Sure, you\u2019ve done some shitty things\u2014getting Peggy preggers then treating her like trash; blackmailing Don into making you head of accounts; last night\u2019s display of pathetic adultery with that chick from The Gilmore Girls<\/em>\u2014but I feel a strange affinity for you anyway. <\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s because, despite our different backgrounds, we\u2019ve got things in common. Fashion sense, for one. I love those royal-blue suits you somehow manage to pull off. Walking down the office halls, you\u2019re a splash of vibrant color among the muted grays and sallow plaids. I\u2019ve looked everywhere for a suit that shade, to no avail. Give me the name of your tailor and all else will be forgiven.<\/p>\n

But my affinity runs deeper than that, Pete. You see, we\u2019re both young men working in industries still lorded over by the Old Guards. Take your boss man, Draper, for instance. Dude can\u2019t even tell the difference between The Beatles and The Wedgewoods. Or that silver fox Sterling who takes one hit of acid then thinks he\u2019s the Dalai Lama. Megan was right to quit, Pete. You slave and you sweat and what does it amount to: a hill of Heinz baked beans.<\/p>\n

Me, I\u2019m in the lit world, slave to the (new) Old Masters at The Paris Review<\/em>. Did you know that they pay me in back issues? That they force me to dress like a French schoolboy in shorts and knee socks, even in winter? That as part of my initiation I was locked in a room with a life-size cardboard cutout of George Plimpton and told to make love to it\u2013tenderly, passionately\u2013while the magazine\u2019s staff watched and jeered from behind a two-sided mirror? [Untrue. \u2014Ed<\/em>.]<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry she didn\u2019t turn up at the hotel room. I\u2019ve been stood up before myself, and I know it\u2019s no fun. Once I fell in love with this cashier at Whole Foods. She had sun-bleached blonde hair and a giant spider\u2019s nest tattooed across her entire back. I invited her to my birthday party and she said she would try to make it, but never showed. The next time I saw her she pretended not to know me. But I got over it, Campbell, and you will too.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny, I\u2019ve been reading David Foster Wallace\u2019s Girl with Curious Hair<\/em>. He was young when he wrote it, Pete, younger than we are. And unlike us he was a genius. It\u2019s not his best book. His brain was slightly too big for him to know how to manage. Like Dylan in Don\u2019t Look Back<\/em>, being a dick to Donovan because he can\u2019t cope with the breadth of his own talent.<\/p>\n

But when I read it, Campbell, I don\u2019t see the flaws. All I can see is the writer he\u2019d become in his next book. All I can see is the beauty of a young man trying\u2014trying with all his heart and all his brain\u2014to make something new, something pure, something deeply humane.<\/p>\n

Lennon was like that too, and he got it right on Revolver<\/em>, what with the noise and minor-key cacophony cohering into some previously unexplored darkness. It\u2019s a scary sound. Once I was driving the coastal road from Sydney to Melbourne at midnight, listening to \u201cTomorrow Never Knows,\u201d when our car hit a wombat. Do you know what a wombat is? It\u2019s like a rat the size of a small dog. Totaled the car. As if the song itself had willed the wombat into existence. We had to camp out overnight, eating cold Heinz beans with plastic spoons until we could hitch a ride to the nearest town.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why Draper turned that record off. Not because he hated it. But because he saw that it was true, and the truth was angry and lonely and ultimately painful. Because Draper is an adman\u2014he likes smooth surfaces\u2014and when something arrives to plumb the depths of his conscious he runs, he gets drunk, he turns off the noise.<\/p>\n

This week we lost another young noisemaker, Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys, a music pioneer who used his fame and fortune to inspire social change. He fought for our right to party, and then he fought for Tibet\u2019s right to peacefully exist. You could learn a thing or two from Yauch, Pete, even if the music\u2019s not your bag. Learn from Yauch, and Lennon, and Wallace. Learn that you\u2019re not limited by what came before. You don\u2019t have to succumb to the tired old tropes; don\u2019t have to turn bitter and bastardly.<\/p>\n

Yesterday in the waiting room of my therapist\u2019s office I encountered that awful moment when the previous patient exits her session all teary and torn up and you both kind of avert your eyes but can\u2019t quite help looking, and you know that for her the comfort\u2019s over, and it\u2019s back to face the world, and you\u2019re no help, and the therapist isn\u2019t either. Well this woman, yesterday, she had a cast on her foot, and she was drinking from one of those tiny cups that the therapists have for their water bubblers and all I could think of was why are those cups so small? I mean why don\u2019t they just put some regular-size cups next to the bubbler so you don\u2019t have to keep returning on your broken foot? But of course that\u2019s the answer, Pete\u2014they want us to return. We must keep hobbling back, keep filling our cups from the Poland Springs bubbler of life, always thirsty, never fully sated.<\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t have to be that way. Just don\u2019t return, Pete, never return. Be your own person, pave a new path, relax and float downstream. And goddamn it, man, stay away from the fucking Gilmore Girls<\/em>.<\/p>\n

It is Not Dying,
Adam<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Pete Campbell, You\u2019ve always creeped me out. This isn\u2019t entirely your fault. You can blame your parents for the beady eyes and the cheeks as yet untouched by razor; for your emotional immaturity; for the fortune they squandered and the love they withheld; and for the Waspy sense of privilege they nonetheless managed to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1160],"tags":[4219,154,680,7463,7465,676,6977,7466,3604,7464,7462,426,7467],"class_list":["post-31342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-on-television","tag-bob-dylan","tag-david-foster-wallace","tag-don-draper","tag-donovan","tag-heinz","tag-mad-men","tag-pete-campbell","tag-revolver","tag-the-beatles","tag-the-gilmore-girls","tag-the-girl-with-curious-hair","tag-the-paris-review","tag-whole-foods"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDear Pete Campbell, A Word of Advice by Adam Wilson<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"May 10, 2012 \u2013 Dear Pete Campbell, You\u2019ve always creeped me out. 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