{"id":20064,"date":"2011-12-26T13:00:26","date_gmt":"2011-12-26T18:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=20064"},"modified":"2011-12-25T12:49:35","modified_gmt":"2011-12-25T17:49:35","slug":"dressings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2011\/12\/26\/dressings\/","title":{"rendered":"Dressings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/moviegown71.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-20069\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/moviegown71.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/moviegown71.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/moviegown71-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><em>We\u2019re out this week, but we\u2019re re-posting some of our favorite  pieces from 2011 while we\u2019re away. We hope you enjoy\u2014and have a happy  New Year!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><\/em>Over  the  weekend,  in  preparation  for  Hurricane  Irene,  I  moved  clothes  out  of  the  back-room  closet  in  our  Brooklyn  apartment, which  in  heavy  rain  has  been  known  to  leak. I  moved  coats  and  a  few  vintage  pieces  I  never  wear  but  which  seem  too  peculiar  to  throw  away.  And  I  moved  the  large  silver  garment bag  I\u2019ve  carried  with  me  to  six  apartments  in  as  many  years.<\/p>\n<p>You  see,  when  I  was  twenty-four,  I  had  a  wedding  dress  made.    It  was\u2014and  remains\u2014a  beautiful  dress,  the  sort  of  garment  for  which  \u201cconfection\u201d  is  actually  an  apt  description:  sheer  Swiss  dot  overlaying  pale  pink,  a  voluminous  crinoline,  a  tea-length  skirt.    The  effect  was  a  bit  <em>Funny<\/em> <em>Face<\/em>,  but  not  so  bridal  that  I  wouldn\u2019t,  as  I  told  everyone  at  the  time,  be  able  to  wear  it  again.    Where  I  would  have  occasion  to  wear  such  a  dress  again  was  an  open  question.  But  when  I  was  married,  surely,  this  question  would  resolve  itself  like  so  many  others.<\/p>\n<p>From  the  get-go,  I  knew  I  wanted  Mary  to  make  the  dress.  I\u2019d  been  pressing  my  nose  against  the  glass  of  her  Lower  East  Side  shop  for  the  better  part  of  a  decade  and  relished  having  an  excuse  to  walk  through  the  door  into  the  tent-striped  interior,  which  smelled  strongly  of  Votivo\u2019s  Red  Currant  candle.<\/p>\n<p>Mary  was  a  strong-minded  and  somewhat  intimidating  figure  whom  I  quickly  grew  to  revere.    Tall  and  imposing,  she  was  generally  black-clad,  sporting  a  feathery  twist  of  hair,  red  lipstick,  and  a  pair  of  severely  stylized  glasses.    She  said  I  was  the  easiest  bride  she\u2019d  ever  dealt  with;  I  think  I  may  have  just  been  so  young  that  I  was  easy  to  push  around.    That,  and  I  didn\u2019t  have  an  interfering  mother.  My  mom,  who  came  with  me  to  only  a  couple  of  the  numerous  fittings,  was  out  of  her  element  in  the  fragrant,  feminine  space  and  deferred  instinctively  to  the  designer.  I  didn\u2019t  want  to  prolong  the  process.  I  was  uncomfortable  with  someone  lavishing  so  much  of  her  time  on  something  for  my  express  use. <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>On  the  day  of  the  first  fitting,  Mary  asked  me  if  I  had  any  concerns  about  my  body  she  should  keep  in  mind.  I  said  that,  as  long  as  she  was  asking,  I\u2019d  never  much  cared  for  the  width  of  my  shoulders.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEveryone  has  some  shit,\u201d  said  Mary,  which  seemed  a  bit  unjust.<\/p>\n<p>G.  and  I  had  met  early  on  at  the  University  of  Chicago,  teenagers  in    a  romantic  landscape  of  which  wags  like  to  say,  \u201cThe  odds  are  good  but  the  goods  are  odd.\u201d  We  lived  in  a  dorm,  single-sex  by  floor,  with  the  teenage  math  prodigies,  the  various  religious  types,  and  a  few  garden-variety  prudes.    It  was  a  novelty  for  me  to  have  a  boyfriend,  and  I  couldn\u2019t  help  but  feel  I  was  playing  an  ill-cast  role.  Small,  plain,  alternately  introverted  or\u2014to  compensate\u2014wacky  in  a  way  that  now  makes  me  cringe,  I  was  scared  of  the  world  of  hormone-fueled  hookups  and  sexual  swagger  and  <em>American<\/em> <em>Pie<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>I  liked  G.,  of  course,  and  later  I  loved  him  even  in  the  face  of  widespread  bemusement.  I  liked  his  belligerence,  and  his  unexpected  kindness,  his  intense  interest  in  Medieval  coenobitic  monks  and  absurdity,  and  our  shared  love  of  Scottish  bands  and  old  films  and  local  food.    Later  there  was  shared  suffering  and  tragedies  and  apartments.  Financial  support  and  moral  support.  Planned  children  and  retirements.    Families  merged  and  entangled.  Five  years,  then  six,  and  then  seven.    My  youthful  dreams  of  a  picturesque  spinsterhood  faded\u2014a  long-suffering  relationship  with  a character  seemed  almost  as  pleasing  and  safe  a  narrative.<\/p>\n<p>It  was  assumed  we  would  get  married,  and  our  engagement  seemed  the  most  natural  thing  in  the  world.    I  remember  giving  vague  but  sincere  prayers  of  thanks  to  whomever  had  allowed  me  to  avoid  what  I  regarded  as  the  sordid  quagmire  of  dating  and  sexual  politics  and  the  finding  of  oneself.  Sometimes,  someone  older  would  allude  to  \u201cexperience\u201d  or  \u201cnot  settling  down  too  young,\u201d  and  I  secretly  pitied  them  their  self-justifying  illusions.<\/p>\n<p>How  did  the  engagement  end?  With  disillusionment,  of  course,  and  heartbreak,  and  recriminations  and  self-recriminations.  With  a  sense,  almost,  of  satisfaction  at  the  extent  of  my  own  hubris.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow\u2019s  it  holding  up?\u201d  G.  asked  of  the  dress  the  other  day.    I  said  I  thought  it  was  okay.  In  fact,  I  knew  this  to  be  the  case,  because  every  so  often  I  try  it  on.    It\u2019s  a  laborious  process,  putting  on  the  wedding  dress:  there\u2019s  a  petticoat  so  that  the  crinoline  doesn\u2019t  chafe,  and  then  the  tulle  underskirt  itself,  and  finally  the  swiss-dot  dress  with  its  halter  neck,  that\u2019s  a  bit  hard  to  do  up  without  help  (and  I  wouldn\u2019t  try  it  on  if  help  were  handy).  Of  course,  there\u2019s  no  point  trying  it  on  if  I  don\u2019t  wear  the  small  ivory  corset  that  I  bought  at  the  now-defunct  lingerie  shop  on  Sullivan  Street,  or  for  that  matter  the  dainty  size-37  kitten  heels  my  mother  and  I  were  lucky  enough  to  find  on  sale  at  the  Woodbury  Commons  outlet  mall.  Even  now,  it  is  still  a  revelation  that  the  seams  conform  to  my  proportions  and  not  the  other  way  around.  It  still  fits,  although  I  worry  it\u2019s  too  young  for  me.<\/p>\n<p>The  dress  disappeared  for  a  while.    While  living  at  home  I  found  it  in  my  little  brother\u2019s  closet,  where  my  mom  had  evidently  tried  to  hide  it  from  me.  I  tried  it  on  right  then,  and  was  struck  by  the  fact  that  the  dress\u2019s  beauty,  its  faint  hint  of  the  shop\u2019s  perfume,  triumphed over  the  sadness  that  was  still  so  fresh.    Over  time,  I  decided  I  would  make  a  joke  of  the  dress.  I  brought  it  up  preemptively  and  made  repeated  references  to  Miss  Havisham.    Once,  I  even  considered  wearing  it  to  an  event,  but  I  couldn\u2019t  bring  myself  to.<\/p>\n<p>When  Mary  finished  the  dress,  she  sewed  a  tag  into  the  bodice:  \u201cFall,  2005\u201d  it  said\u2014the  date  of  our  wedding.    I  left  her  with  promises  of  photographs  and  Christmas  cards.  Later,  the  knowledge  of  that  outdated  label  weighed  on  me.  I  wanted  to  explain,  but  I  felt  my  failure  too  keenly.    I  told  myself  she  probably  didn\u2019t  remember,  or  care.  For  several  years  I  avoided  that  stretch  of  the  Lower  East  Side,  and  then  was  shocked  to  see  that,  during  that  time,  the  store  had  shuttered.<\/p>\n<p>Nowadays,  when  I  allude  to  my  earlier  relationship\u2014which  I  do  less  and  less\u2014I  don\u2019t  mention  the  engagement.    Or  I  play  it  off.  \u201cWe  were  young.\u201d  I  say,  or,  \u201cIt  never  really  got  that  far.\u201d  Then  I  see  the  silver  garment  bag.  If  you  open  the  bag  and  bury  your  nose  in  the  folds  of  fabric,  you  can  still  smell  the  faint,  perfumed  note  of  Red  Currant.    And  again  I\u2019m  twenty-four,  and  I  think  I\u2019ve  managed  to  get  around  it  all.    And  then  I  move  the  dress  carefully  out  of  harm\u2019s  way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re out this week, but we\u2019re re-posting some of our favorite pieces from 2011 while we\u2019re away. We hope you enjoy\u2014and have a happy New Year! Over the weekend, in preparation for Hurricane Irene, I moved clothes out of the back-room closet in our Brooklyn apartment, which in heavy rain has been known to leak. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2353],"tags":[3543,3545,3547,3546,3517,3540,1757,3549,3548,3544,3542],"class_list":["post-20064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nostalgia","tag-dress","tag-engagement","tag-funny-face","tag-garment-bag","tag-hurricane-irene","tag-irene","tag-lower-east-side","tag-miss-havisham","tag-red-currant","tag-university-of-chicago","tag-wedding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dressings by Sadie Stein<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"December 26, 2011 \u2013 We\u2019re out this week, but we\u2019re re-posting some of our favorite pieces from 2011 while we\u2019re away. 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