{"id":17567,"date":"2011-06-24T13:42:27","date_gmt":"2011-06-24T17:42:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=17567"},"modified":"2011-06-24T14:01:56","modified_gmt":"2011-06-24T18:01:56","slug":"why-write-about-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2011\/06\/24\/why-write-about-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Write About Sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2978\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/boyreadingnedanshutzsmall2-211x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"211\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/boyreadingnedanshutzsmall2-211x300.jpg 211w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/boyreadingnedanshutzsmall2.jpg 271w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><em>Dear Mr. Stein,<\/em><br \/><em> A few of the pieces in your most recent issue\u2014particularly Mr. Seidel\u2019s and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/fiction\/6084\/william-wei-amie-barrodale\">Ms. Barrodale\u2019s<\/a>\u2014strike me as rather vulgar. I\u2019d be interested to hear your opinion on why so many contemporary writers, when dealing with sexual content, veer toward explicitness instead of subtlety. I just don\u2019t understand why the crass language is necessary; delicate hints and suggestions of such acts are usually more titillating anyway.<\/em><br \/><em> Betty Lou<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Mr. Stein,<\/em><br \/><em> A while ago I read Elizabeth Bachner\u2019s article \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.bookslut.com\/features\/2008_03_012508.php\">Awkward, Disgusting Copulation: Writing on Sex<\/a>,\u201d and I found that she expressed so accurately what I seek out in literature: \u201cThere\u2019s something deeply unfortunate about the fact that urination, procreation, defecation and orgasm all happen within such inconvenient proximity. Having a human body will kill each of us eventually, no matter what, so we might as well enjoy it. But it\u2019s not for the squeamish. Western culture, in fact, has largely developed around the tension between revulsion and fascination, between being grossed out and turned on.\u201d I can\u2019t find any other explanation for why I can\u2019t close my eyes when Vonnegut gets dirty, or Nabokov cruel. Do you know of any contemporary writers who write with similar \u2026 zeal?<\/em><br \/><em> Cebe Remulto<\/em><\/p>\n<p>As you both point out, writing about sex can be gross and unpleasant\u2014unsexy, even. So why publish that kind of thing in <em>The Paris Review<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>Betty Lou, your question strikes me as very reasonable. I\u2019d answer, first, that not all writing about sex is meant to titillate. There are other reasons to describe what people do in bed. Not all of these reasons are vulgar or crass. To my mind, a conventional sex scene, say in an airplane novel (\u201cas she raised her hips and guided him into the hot wet center of her,\u201d etc., etc.), is indeed crass. But is it crass\u2014is it meretricious\u2014to write honestly about the mess and complexity of the individual libido? Not to me. What\u2019s vulgar is an airbrush. What\u2019s really vulgar is a sex scene in borrowed language, where the characters are stripped of individuality and the situation has no moral depth. I hope we don\u2019t publish anything like that.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->More generally, it strikes me that fiction and poetry are especially good at dealing with sex\u2014are in some ways <em>designed<\/em> for handling subjects that are private or shameful or deeply subjective\u2014and that sex is inherently interesting (maybe especially to readers of fiction?). Of course it is boring, plus creepy, to hear someone drone on and on about sex in general. What\u2019s wonderful is how the particulars keep appearing, out of the fog of daily life, to seize our attention. Like faces we\u2019ve never seen before\u2014and could never have imagined, before we saw them. As Samuel Delany told our interviewer in the current issue: \u201cI shall always be able to come up with new fantasies. As long as there are people walking around in the street, as long as I have books to read and windows to look out of, I\u2019m not going to use them up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Cebe Remulto, take a cue from Betty Lou: Read the last four issues of <em>The Paris Review<\/em> (and, while you\u2019re at it, Frederick Seidel\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Poems-1959-2009-Frederick-Seidel\/dp\/0374126550\">Poems 1959-2009<\/a><\/em>). You may also find yourself troubled\u2014in various right wrong ways\u2014by Mary Gaitskill\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Veronica-Mary-Gaitskill\/dp\/037572785X\/\">Veronica<\/a><\/em>, Dennis Cooper\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Guide-Cooper-Dennis\/dp\/0802135803\/\">Guide<\/a><\/em>, Louis Begley\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Man-Who-Late-Louis-Begley\/dp\/0449909115\/\">The Man Who Was Late<\/a><\/em>, Eugene Marten\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Firework-Eugene-Marten\/dp\/1616589647\/\">Firework<\/a><\/em>, Richard Siken\u2019s <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Crush-Younger-Poets-Richard-Siken\/dp\/0300107897\/\">Crush<\/a><\/em>, and Nicholson Baker\u2019s (very funny) <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Holes-Raunch-Nicholson-Baker\/dp\/143918951X\/\">House of Holes: A Book of Raunch<\/a><\/em>. The last doesn\u2019t come out till August, but I think you\u2019ll agree it\u2019s worth the wait.<\/p>\n<p><em>Help! I\u2019m stuck in a third-grade girl\u2019s reading list and can\u2019t get out! Every time I\u2019m hankering for a good read, I always end up picking up <\/em>The Secret Garden<em> (again) or trolling the library for an E. Nesbit book I haven\u2019t read yet. Can you recommend some titles that are lyrical, fantastical, and lighthearted but a little more \u201cadult\u201d?<\/em><br \/><em> Childishly yours,<\/em><br \/><em> Jane<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Chronicles-Clovis-Penguin-Twentieth-Century-Clas\/dp\/0140183493\/\">The Chronicles of Clovis<\/a><\/em>, by Saki.<\/p>\n<p><em>Have a question for <\/em>The Paris Review<em>?<a href=\"mailto:advice@theparisreview.org\"> E-mail<\/a> us.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Mr. Stein, A few of the pieces in your most recent issue\u2014particularly Mr. Seidel\u2019s and Ms. Barrodale\u2019s\u2014strike me as rather vulgar. I\u2019d be interested to hear your opinion on why so many contemporary writers, when dealing with sexual content, veer toward explicitness instead of subtlety. I just don\u2019t understand why the crass language is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[17,2658,712,456,2657,748,2660,2659,2661,179,472,2662,426,2656,75],"class_list":["post-17567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-the-paris-review","tag-books","tag-eugene-marten","tag-frederick-seidel","tag-lorin-stein","tag-louis-begley","tag-mary-gaitskill","tag-nicholson-baker","tag-richard-siken","tag-saki","tag-sex","tag-summer-issue","tag-the-chronicles-of-clovis","tag-the-paris-review","tag-vulgarity","tag-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Write About Sex? by Lorin Stein<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"June 24, 2011 \u2013 Dear Mr. Stein, A few of the pieces in your most recent issue\u2014particularly Mr. Seidel\u2019s and Ms. Barrodale\u2019s\u2014strike me as rather vulgar. 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