{"id":170818,"date":"2025-05-20T10:00:38","date_gmt":"2025-05-20T14:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=170818"},"modified":"2025-05-20T11:47:17","modified_gmt":"2025-05-20T15:47:17","slug":"recurring-screens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2025\/05\/20\/recurring-screens\/","title":{"rendered":"Recurring Screens"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"

My iMac G3, running Warp.<\/p><\/div>\n

The world\u2019s first screen saver was not like a dream at all. It was a blank screen. It was called SCRNSAVE, and when it was released in 1983 it was very exciting to a niche audience. It was like John Cage\u2019s 4\u201933″<\/em> but for computers\u2014a score for meted-out doses of silence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Instructions for using the screen saver were first published in the tech magazine <\/span>Softalk<\/span><\/i>. The headline read: SAVE YOUR MONITOR SCREEN!<\/small> Across from the article was a full-page photo of firefighters rescuing a computer monitor from a burning building.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"

Softalk<\/em><\/a>, December 1983.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

The article explained that there was a new danger facing computers: \u201cburn-in.\u201d Basically, if a screen showed the same thing for too long, the shadow of its image would be tattooed to the pixels. A screen saver stirs the soup of the image to keep it from sticking to the screen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The science behind burn-in is grotesque: picture swarms of electrons like locusts flinging themselves at the thin phosphor coating of a screen, chewing holes. A screen saver periodically smokes the locusts out, thereby saving the screen from the disfigurement of monotony.<\/span><\/p>\n

SCRNSAVE was a big deal engineering-wise, but it never caught on with most computer users, who, reasonably, did not see the value in making their screens shut off every few minutes. Before long, software developers figured out how to convince people to adopt screen savers: aesthetics. The screen savers had to make people want to look back at the screens they had just looked away from.<\/span><\/p>\n

In 1989, a software company called Berkeley Systems launched a program called After Dark. Instead of just going blank, After Dark screen savers showed animations: flying toasters, or falling rain, or overlapping curved lines in neon gradients. The new screen savers took the world by storm. But in terms of preventing burn-in, flying toasters were no better than a blank screen. Their purpose was pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

After Dark 2.0, Berkeley Systems, 1992.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know the exact percentage of my life I have spent watching screen savers, but I\u2019m sure it\u2019s equivalent to the amount of time I\u2019ve spent peeing or stuck in traffic. I\u2019ve probably watched screen savers for the same amount of time I\u2019ve spent dreaming about the car, the airplane, and the hill. The details change, but every night for years I\u2019ve dreamed that I\u2019m in a car, and that I\u2019m on an airplane, and that I\u2019m jumping off the top of a hill.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was a kid, my favorite After Dark screen saver was called Warp. In Warp, you\u2019re flying into the center of a tunnel of tiny white stars. Nothing happens except that you keep going forward. Nothing changes, but it always seemed to me like it might. Like if I kept looking I might finally see past the tunnel\u2019s center. I\u2019d watch until an adult snapped their fingers in my face and told me to pay attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my least favorite screen saver, 3D Maze, you\u2019re running through a maze with red brick walls and a white\u00a0 asbestos-tiled ceiling. The light is cold and fluorescent, like in an office building. Sometimes you go the wrong way and have to briefly run backward. Sometimes the whole maze flips over and you keep running on the asbestos ceiling like nothing happened. The worst part of 3D Maze was that it could appear on any computer screen without warning. Once the screen saver had started, it was hard to look away, even though I knew what would happen. Every night in my sleep I climb the hill, and I jump off the top.<\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/p>\n

There are no screen savers in <\/span>pleasureis amiracle<\/span><\/i> by Bianca Rae Messinger. But the poems talk about memory as though time itself were a screen saver\u2014a series of recurring dreams that overlap. Messinger writes:<\/span><\/p>\n

nothing is transposed so she goes back to sleep with no thinking about
\n<\/span>fucking but about water or is it the same object anavenue circles it tying
\n<\/span>the new ocean and outside there\u2019s a field which is familiar though
\n<\/span>destroyed\u00a0 sometimes she has torun\u00a0 as the water comes fast and tan, so
\n<\/span>she steals a car in the next scene like a\u00a0 spaceship \u00a0 so fast\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Many words in <\/span>pleasureis amiracle<\/span><\/i> are merged. They make me think of parataxis, the pushing together of distinct ideas in writing. Messinger imagines parataxis as a physical form of adhesion. Words can stick together, and so can everything else. A new ocean to a familiar field. An image burned into a screen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time I started high school in 2008, the screen saver boom had faded. Bored with the limited options on my white plastic MacBook, I downloaded one called Electric Sheep, whose selling point was that it would never show the same thing twice. Every time the screen saver ran, my computer would connect to other computers on the internet, and together they would make new kaleidoscopic patterns in new kaleidoscopic colors. The website explained:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When these computers \u201csleep,\u201d the screen saver comes on and the computers communicate with each other by the internet to share the work of creating morphing abstract animations known as \u201csheep.\u201d The result is a collective \u201candroid dream,\u201d an homage to Philip K. Dick\u2019s novel <\/span>Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I was excited to be part of an internet of dreaming sheep. But for some reason my computer could never connect. Every day it made the same four patterns in the same four colors. Instead of many sheep remembering many dreams, the screen saver was like one sheep trying to remember one dream and only seeing fragments. A car, an airplane, a hill.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bianca Rae Messinger believes phone calls are a form of time travel. For Messinger, if it\u2019s morning on one end of the phone, it\u2019s morning on the other. \u201cIf you walked to California from New York,\u201d she explained to me once, \u201cit would be morning by the time you arrived, even if it wasn\u2019t when you left.\u201d A voice on a telephone travels close to the speed of light. Ergo, time travel. In <\/span>pleasureis amiracle<\/span><\/i>, she writes:<\/span><\/p>\n

wefight in your red car about space,
\n<\/span>whether it\u2019s consecutive, you say, \u00a0 <\/span>whether it\u2019s observatory
\n<\/span><\/i>no,\u00a0 i say no too as i tend toagree
\n<\/span>without wantingto, but yet \u00a0 each
\n<\/span>moment feels improvisatory\u2026<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Can time be improvised if we are trapped in it? If we are trapped in time, can we teleport to other places? According to some scientists and science fiction writers, the answer is yes\u2014through something called a tesseract. In <\/span>A Wrinkle in Time<\/span><\/i>, Madeleine L\u2019Engle describes the tesseract by way of an ant. I\u2019ll summarize:<\/span><\/p>\n

If an ant wanted to walk from one side of a length of fabric to the other, it would need to walk across the entire surface. Here\u2019s a diagram that L\u2019Engle included in her book:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But what if someone folded the fabric in half? The ant would be able to teleport immediately from one end of the fabric to the other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now imagine the ant has been walking along a box instead of a piece of fabric. To travel instantly to the other side, the ant would need to fold the box in half without breaking it, which would mean invoking the fifth dimension: a tesseract.<\/span><\/p>\n

Are phone calls tesseracts? What about the internet, or dreams? Messinger writes:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

doing everything \u00a0 at once doesn\u2019t feel like
\n<\/span>an action exactly\u2026this neighborhood
\n<\/span>smells like the one I grew up in but
\n<\/span>that\u2019s 300 miles away.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

pleasureis amiracle<\/span><\/i> asks whether memory is a type of action and whether a repeated action is a form of remembering. The book answers: Memory is an action like the spinning plate of the microwave. It\u2019s morning on both sides of the phone because you remember morning. If you leave a computer awake long enough, it will eventually remember to show a screen saver. Every time it sleeps, the computer dreams its recurring dreams.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/p>\n

My grandmother\u2019s iMac spent most of its time showing Flurry, a dancing rainbow spider that was the first-ever Macintosh screen saver when it debuted in 2002. My grandmother was very tech-averse and preferred to write on a yellow legal pad. Whenever she needed to use the iMac, she\u2019d call me with questions. \u201cThank goodness you picked up,\u201d she\u2019d say. \u201cAn alternate universe has emerged in the corner of my screen. Can you help?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I quickly gave up on trying to convince her to use words like \u201cwindow\u201d or \u201capplication\u201d instead of \u201cplanet\u201d or \u201cdimension.\u201d Her descriptions felt closer to the real experience of using a computer\u2014like trying to fly a spaceship. She read a lot of sci-fi. I helped her download Ursula K. Le Guin\u2019s <\/span>The Lathe of Heaven<\/span><\/i> from iTunes as an audiobook. We listened together as a man altered collective reality with his dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

My grandmother\u2019s stereoscope.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

A glass slide of my grandmother being pulled by a horse.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

One of the few things my grandmother\u2019s family managed to bring from Austria when they fled the Nazis in 1938 was a stereoscope\u2014a three-dimensional image-viewing device. When I was young, my grandmother sometimes let me look through its binocular-like lenses at glass slides of her in Austria: a three-dimensional child in a cart pulled by a three-dimensional horse.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When my grandmother died, everyone agreed I should be given her computer. Actually, at first everyone agreed that we should throw her computer away, but they said I could have it if I really wanted it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My grandmother\u2019s computer looked like all iMacs had looked for a decade\u2014like a piece of sheet metal with an apple stamped on it. I took it home and it runs decently enough. Not quickly, but respectably. Not quite light-speed, but telephone-speed.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first iMacs did not look like sheet metal. Instead, they looked like colorful plastic bubbles. I recently bought one on eBay. It\u2019s from 1999 and made of pink translucent plastic\u2014a color Apple called strawberry. My concept was that I\u2019d try and replace my 2021 laptop with the Strawberry. But when the Strawberry arrived, it wouldn\u2019t turn on. When I finally got it to wake up, it could not load most websites.<\/span><\/p>\n

I took the Strawberry apart thirty-nine times. (I kept count.) I didn\u2019t really know what I was doing. I cut my hands open on the logic board more than once. There\u2019s still dried blood on the hard drive. But despite my best efforts at modernization, the Strawberry has refused to accept any of my updates. It only wants to exist in 1999, to connect to an old internet that hardly exists anymore. These days it mostly runs screen savers. Warp is still my favorite.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

The Strawberry and my grandmother\u2019s iMac.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Toward the end of <\/span>pleasureis amiracle<\/span><\/i>, Messinger writes,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

being able to \u2018live\u2019 in one\u2019s own memories was what caused
\n<\/span>the eventual collapse, and it being joyful. a radio on repeat\u2026
\n<\/span>she thinks, an easier way to say this is that dreams are now considered life forms.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I used to think I could use old computers to break open time and get everything back; to fold the screen in two and make a tesseract. I wanted to know what would happen at the end of my dream with the car, the airplane, and the hill. I wanted to go inside the stereoscope and see my grandmother in three dimensions in a place that no longer exists.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But when I finally went back in time, what I found instead were screen savers. Radios on repeat. Places where you could look at time and watch things move around inside it, at the speed of a telephone, just slower than light.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nora Claire Miller\u2019s debut poetry collection, <\/em>Groceries, is forthcoming from Fonograf Editions this fall.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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