{"id":169135,"date":"2024-11-12T10:00:29","date_gmt":"2024-11-12T15:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=169135"},"modified":"2024-11-15T11:04:49","modified_gmt":"2024-11-15T16:04:49","slug":"kevin-killians-amazon-reviews-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2024\/11\/12\/kevin-killians-amazon-reviews-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Kevin Killian\u2019s Amazon Reviews, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_169138\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-169138\" class=\"size-full wp-image-169138\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/1024px-amazon-prime-100-electric-delivery-van-west-acton-geographorguk-6785825.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/1024px-amazon-prime-100-electric-delivery-van-west-acton-geographorguk-6785825.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/1024px-amazon-prime-100-electric-delivery-van-west-acton-geographorguk-6785825-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/1024px-amazon-prime-100-electric-delivery-van-west-acton-geographorguk-6785825-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-169138\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Amazon Prime delivery van in West Acton. Photograph by David Hawgood,\u00a0via <a href=\"https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Amazon_Prime_100%5E_electric_delivery_van,_West_Acton_-_geograph.org.uk_-_6785825.jpg\">Wikimedia Commons<\/a>. Licensed under <a href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-sa\/2.0\">CC BY-SA 2.0<\/a>.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong><em>Going Once: A Memoir of Art, Society, and Charity<br \/>\n<\/em><\/strong>by Robert Woolley<\/p>\n<p>\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2606\u2606<\/p>\n<p><strong>A Bygone Era in Auctioneering<br \/>\n<\/strong>January 5, 2005<\/p>\n<p>I feel sorry for the people who came to him during one of Sotheby\u2019s <em>Antiques Roadshow<\/em>\u2013style days, for he was withering when confronted with the junk people offered him off of Aunt Tillie\u2019s mantelpiece. He is fairly fearless when it comes to painting a portrait of himself as the ultimate New York society queen. Poor guy died of <small>AIDS<\/small> not long after this book was published, and I still \ufb01nd it enjoyable. It seems as though a lot of Sotheby\u2019s secrets went to the grave with him, for he certainly knew where most of the bodies were buried. His account of the Andy Warhol estate auction is mind boggling, so you will forgive him his gaucheries and his nonstop bitchiness. Another good story is how he auctioned off (for charity) the services of David Hockney, who volunteered to paint your swimming pool, and how the \ufb01lm producer Lester Persky had to be shamed into bidding for what was on the face of it an incredible bargain. We all love auction stories, for they remind us that maybe someday we will \ufb01nd a bargain worth bragging about, whether in the world of the decorative and visual arts, or in romance, as I did when I married my present wife.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Wood Diner Birdhouse<br \/>\n<\/strong>by Meadow Creek Trading<\/p>\n<p>\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n<p><strong>And All You Have to Do Is Provide the Seed!<br \/>\n<\/strong>January 6, 2005<\/p>\n<p>The Diner Birdhouse is one of those products you wish you would have thought of, for how cute is it to have a diner setup for birds that dispenses birdseed round the clock?<\/p>\n<p>As the sign says outside, \u201cOpen 24 Hours\u201d! Many \ufb01ne birdhouses were available to us, but this is the one we chose. My grandmother owned an actual diner, in Jamaica, Queens, and we put this up on our pole to honor her memory and to remember all the delicious ways she served up humble people food. Comes with hand-painted medallions and accoutrements, including picnic tables lining the diner frontage, with gay red-and-white-checked picnic tablecloths for that festive summer effect. But this is one birdhouse that looks grand with snow capping its roof too. Just make sure to keep the door open for birds looking for a quick bite, or maybe just to get in out of the cold for a spell.<\/p>\n<p>The things you do for these birds, after all, you do for Saint Francis, who loved his feathered friends as he loved the moon and the sun.<\/p>\n<p>Check out the merry silhouettes of the customers manning the booths inside the diner, you can spot them eating right through the painted windows.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShakes \u2026 Hamburgers \u2026 Welcome\u201d!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Darwin the Wizard Marionette (Created by Artist Daniel Oates)<br \/>\n<\/strong>by Bozart Toys<\/p>\n<p>\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n<p><strong>I Love This Puppet<br \/>\n<\/strong>February 9, 2005<\/p>\n<p>Puppets and marionettes make even the oldest of grown-ups into children. No one knows this fact of life better than master creator Daniel Oates, the renowned artist. I bought Darwin on a whim, wanting to produce some magic spells to get myself a raise at work. I figured with all the kids bragging about how Oates\u2019s four-string system made his marionettes impossible to tangle that even I could manage to take him out of the box. I liked what I saw and went ahead and ordered the whole lot of Oates\u2019s magical \u201cdolls\u201d\u2014all of them boasting names that begin, like his, with the letter <em>D<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a wonderful full-size puppet theater you can buy with shifting backdrops of medieval scenes. It\u2019s a little like <em>Shrek<\/em> come to life. The lovely Princess Destiny, her fuchsia hair almost silvery in the moonlight of San Francisco, is guarded by her knight, Sir Dorric. The strange and weird oversized raven, Dave, caws out a greeting to any who come to my apartment in the Mission. Dexter the Jester will tell a few jokes and mouth some warped wisdom, like the fool in <em>King Lear.<\/em> The extravagant unicorn, Delilah, loves Princess Destiny and will often approach her to try to tease some barley sugar out of her long, elegant, fingertipped hand. As you ring the doorbell of the moat, watch out for Dunstan, the playful dragon. He\u2019ll breathe fire all over you if you don\u2019t watch out. In this way my medieval fantasies go unchecked, thanks to the mastery of the one and one Daniel Oates.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>From <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/mitpress.mit.edu\/9781635902181\/selected-amazon-reviews\/\">Selected Amazon Reviews<\/a>, <em>to be published by Semiotext(e) this month.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Kevin Killian (1952\u20132019) was a San Francisco\u2013based poet, playwright, novelist, biographer, editor, artist, and critic whose reviews appeared in <\/em>Art in America<em>, <\/em>Artforum<em>,<\/em> The Brooklyn Rail<em>, <\/em>BOMB<em>, and elsewhere. <\/em><em>He was a core participant in the New Narrative writing circle and coedited <\/em>Writers Who Love Too Much: New Narrative 1977\u20131997<em> with his wife, Dodie Bellamy.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An auctioneer\u2019s memoir, a Wood Diner Birdhouse, and Darwin the Wizard Marionette.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2541,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[68764],"tags":[564,22018,30327],"class_list":["post-169135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-on-things","tag-amazon","tag-consumer-culture","tag-kevin-killian"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Kevin Killian\u2019s Amazon Reviews, Part 1 by Kevin Killian<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"November 12, 2024 \u2013 An auctioneer\u2019s memoir, a Wood Diner Birdhouse, and Darwin the Wizard Marionette.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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