{"id":166725,"date":"2024-02-06T10:00:05","date_gmt":"2024-02-06T15:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=166725"},"modified":"2024-02-07T13:29:34","modified_gmt":"2024-02-07T18:29:34","slug":"joan-collins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2024\/02\/06\/joan-collins\/","title":{"rendered":"My Brush with Greatness"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_166728\" style=\"width: 695px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-166728\" class=\"wp-image-166728 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/joan-collins-drive-hard-drive-fast.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"685\" height=\"887\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/joan-collins-drive-hard-drive-fast.jpeg 685w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/joan-collins-drive-hard-drive-fast-232x300.jpeg 232w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-166728\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joan Collins in <em>Drive Hard, Drive Fast<\/em>\u00a0(1973).\u00a0Public domain, courtesy of <a href=\"https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Joan_Collins_Drive_Hard,_Drive_Fast.JPG\">Wikimedia Commons<\/a>.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was 1990, and the man I loved had died. I was out all the time. I just couldn\u2019t stay inside, and I was writing in a notebook in places where I could sit for a spell. A new shop opened on Broadway, a bakery that was also a caf\u00e9 in the low eighties or maybe the seventies, on the east side of the street. You could sit there with a coffee and maybe\u2014after God knows how long\u2014you would also buy a muffin out of obligation and shame.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The owner hated his customers because he\u2019d created the wrong kind of flock in us. We were a band of deadbeat loners, off whom rose different kinds of sadness that united us into a force. The owner was a loud and theatrical gay man I also felt for because he may have been as lonely as we were, and he was trying to establish a business. I don\u2019t remember if he had a boyfriend. I remember the startling freedom of his contempt for us\u2014and by\u00a0<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">us<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, I don\u2019t mean the customers who came and left in a timely fashion and didn\u2019t turn his place into a campsite. He would thrash about, sighing and slamming down the cups he bussed after one of us moved on. It was theater. The boss staged his show, and we were the audience.<\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the spring of 2002, Geoff Dyer published a piece in\u00a0<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Threepenny Review\u00a0<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">called \u201cThe Despair of Art Deco.\u201d It\u2019s a wonderful piece about nothing, really, meaning it\u2019s my kind of writing, in which for seven pages or so Dyer recounts a recent visit with his girlfriend to South Beach, Miami, where he plans to write about the art deco hotels that attract visitors. Instead, he sees his first dead body, or at least the soiled socks of a woman who has jumped from a balcony to her death on the sidewalk, careful to avoid landing on anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Earlier on the visit, Dyer and his girlfriend are asked to take a photograph of a couple standing in front of the house where Versace was gunned down. The patch of sidewalk has become a site of what I would call \u201cdark tourism.\u201d Dyer doesn\u2019t call it that, but he understands there is some attraction people feel to standing in proximity to where something gory and grisly has taken place, in order to feel the double thrill of not yet being dead and also being reminded that every life goes in only one direction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another afternoon, walking on his own, Dyer comes upon the recent suicide. A passerby tells Dyer the dead woman was seventy-two, and he says that the heat of Miami makes people crazy. Dyer considers that Rome is just as hot and people there don\u2019t routinely pitch themselves from balconies onto the pavement. In Miami, Dyer suggests, perhaps the despair of art deco causes people to jump, the despair that rises off architecture that always looks better from the outside than the inside.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What was I writing in the notebooks I carried to the bakery-caf\u00e9? I was writing dreck. I wasn\u2019t writing dreck in my published work, but this was years before I\u2019d meet Richard and together we\u2019d establish better guidelines for writing in notebooks than I had at the time. The dreck I was writing was about one piece of the sadness rising off me or another. In these awful entries, I\u2019m clutching at the damp hankie of my life. I\u2019m not so much sad about being in the world without a man. I\u2019m sad about facing starkly my troubling personality in the unshaded world without a man. I knew this was not a fit subject for writing, but I didn\u2019t stop writing the dreck. I don\u2019t think I even tried.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One day\u00a0Joan\u00a0Collins\u00a0paid a visit to the bakery-caf\u00e9, and the excitement still lingers in my mind.\u00a0Joan\u00a0in the bakery, a streak of glamor, like the fa\u00e7ade of an art deco hotel, sent to lift us from our forlorn existences. According to Dyer, part of \u201cthe despair\u201d of art deco is that it includes a wash of shabbiness as well as of brilliance, and you could say the same thing of the glamor of\u00a0Joan\u00a0Collins\u00a0or the glamor of anyone looked at close up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The visit was not a surprise. We\u2019d been primed for days and perhaps weeks by the usually irascible boss. He was her devoted fan. There were pictures of\u00a0Joan\u00a0on the walls. Suddenly, we had a purpose as props in the bustling caf\u00e9. Did he instruct us to give\u00a0Joan\u00a0space and allow her radiance merely to fall on us? I hope so. I don\u2019t remember. Let\u2019s say he did. In this moment, all of us are joined with the boss in his wish to host\u00a0Joan\u00a0beautifully. All of us want him to be happy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Joan\u00a0pulls up in a town car. Paid for by the boss? He escorts her into the bakery-caf\u00e9, and ushers her to a table, showing her around a bit before she\u2019s seated. It\u2019s the period just after she has ended her run in the prime-time soap opera\u00a0<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dynasty<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and\u00a0Joan\u00a0will be a little at loose ends for a while after the towering success of her scenery-shredding portrayal of the vixen Alexis Carrington. She was great, snarling, and camping. It\u2019s her crowning achievement as an actor. By the way,\u00a0Joan\u00a0was born in 1933. She\u2019s ninety as I write. She\u2019s still working. Go\u00a0Joan!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the bakery-caf\u00e9, she is full-wig and fake-eyelash swish, her vowels so sweetly plummy bees suddenly circle her head. She looks fragile. There\u2019s a tottering tilt to her bearing. What am I doing here? she might have been asking herself. Who is this man who loves me? What is my role here? What is my role in life in general?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we, the rabble, stay back and stare courteously? Does\u00a0Joan\u00a0leave with a box of rugelach? Does she stay long enough to make the boss happy? Can anything make any of us happy?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. This memory makes me happy. While\u00a0Joan\u00a0is with us, the boss is gracious and\u00a0Joan\u00a0is gracious. They pull me out of myself, and I write a different kind of entry, thinking about all of us gathered there, thinking about the sadness of the boss. Somewhere, there\u2019s a jaunty, outward-looking piece I attribute to\u00a0Joan. Some kind of exchange is set in motion, each side a site of tourism for the other. We inject the glamor of our humdrum realness into\u00a0Joan\u00a0as she wafts the despair of her fading stardom onto us\u2014the despair, like the despair of art deco, that always includes the wish to show a good \u00a0face and can, in this case, brighten your point of view rather than prompt a leap to your death.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Joan\u00a0is gallant to have come and generous to have taken the time to sit in front of her mirror and create for a fan the\u00a0Joan\u00a0Collins, with her sexy overbite, that slides into the world. At this time, she\u2019s between marriage number four and marriage number five. She won\u2019t marry again until 2002, when she weds Percy Gibson, who is thirty years her junior. Go\u00a0Joan!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After a while, the bakery-caf\u00e9 has to close. Probably, we are the cause. It takes a few years. I\u2019m sad when it\u2019s gone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><span class=\"il\">Laurie<\/span> <span class=\"il\">Stone<\/span> is the author of six books, most recently<\/em> Streaming Now: Postcards from the Thing That is Happening,<em> which was long-listed for the\u00a0PEN America Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay. She writes a column for\u00a0<\/em>Oldster Magazine<em>\u00a0and the<\/em> <a href=\"http:\/\/lauriestone.substack.com\">Everything Is Personal<\/a>\u00a0Substack.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cIt was 1990, and the man I loved had died. I was out all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2320,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4393],"tags":[67827,68758,1373],"class_list":["post-166725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-person","tag-featured","tag-joan-collins","tag-movie-stars"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>My Brush with Greatness by Laurie Stone<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"February 6, 2024 \u2013 \u201cIt was 1990, and the man I loved had died. 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