{"id":164936,"date":"2023-07-19T12:06:03","date_gmt":"2023-07-19T16:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=164936"},"modified":"2024-11-15T15:28:51","modified_gmt":"2024-11-15T20:28:51","slug":"the-final-dead-shows-part-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2023\/07\/19\/the-final-dead-shows-part-three\/","title":{"rendered":"The Final Dead Shows: Part Three"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"

Black-and-white Bobby. Photographs by Sophie Haigney.<\/p><\/div>\n

Let\u2019s start with the dark stuff. On Saturday night in San Francisco, after the second-to-last-ever Dead & Co. show, every single ATM near the ballpark was apparently out of cash, because people couldn\u2019t stop buying balloons filled with nitrous oxide, huffing them on the street for just a few more seconds of feeling high. The bars nearby were overrun, quite literally, long after everyone should have been at home. People go down at shows\u2014it happened right in front of us one night, the medics rushing in and carrying someone out. There are, not infrequently, overdoses. There is too much of everything, sometimes. \u201cI\u2019m at that point in a bender where beer isn\u2019t really doing anything for me anymore,\u201d I heard someone joke on day three of the three-show run.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It is not that easy to drink yourself to death, actually, which I know because I have watched a lot of people try, but I could imagine it happening to many people in the context of the long slide of years or decades spent following the band. I always think \u201cThere but for the grace of God go I,\u201d and I really mean it. So many people are dead and gone, among them the Dead\u2019s lead songwriter, guitarist, and singer Jerry Garcia, who was killed by his own addiction to heroin at the age of fifty-three. \u201cDo you think of Jerry as a prophet or a saint?\u201d my friend asked me on Sunday as we got ready for the last show ever. The mood was elegiac, though the fact of finality wasn\u2019t really sinking in, which might be why we kept repeating it over and over. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it\u2019s really the last one,\u201d someone said, not for the first time. \u201cWhat are we even going to do next summer?\u201d my friend lamented. \u201cAre we going to like \u2026 have to get really into Phish?\u201d \u201cWe are NOT getting into Phish,\u201d someone else insisted, though we all agreed we would probably go see Phish at Madison Square Garden in August.<\/p>\n

We put on our last clean Dead T-shirts\u2014we were all running low and trading with one another\u2014and headed back to the ballpark. A few of us had decided last minute to upgrade our tickets so we could be on the floor. I had never been on the floor for a Dead & Co. show; we always don\u2019t spend the extra money and regret it later, so this time, one last time, we were not going to make that mistake. I said I wanted to hear \u201cBertha,\u201d and we got it, right away, and right away we knew that every single member of the band was completely on, locked in. Bobby, as my friend observed, was \u201creally cooking.\u201d Jeff Chimenti, Oteil Burbridge, Mickey Hart, also cooking. And Mayer\u2014I have never seen him, perhaps, cook like that, leaning into every moment harder than I have ever seen him lean, and he always leans in hard, given that he is probably among other things one of the greatest living guitarists.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I write about John Mayer\u2019s faces?\u201d I typed in my Notes app on the first night of shows. Unfortunately there is no other way I can describe it but to say that while he is jamming he often more or less appears to be on the verge of having an orgasm for three hours straight, and we are with him the entire time.<\/p>\n

The thing is, the experience of a good jam-band show really does have quite a lot in common with sex. \u201cIs jamming like edging?\u201d I asked my friend on the first night, and we both burst out laughing, but, well, there\u2019s a reason one of my friends is persistently yelling \u201cJeff Chimenti make me come!\u201d after a really good keyboard section. With a Dead & Co. show, you sort of know how it\u2019s going to go right from the beginning, because there is kind of a familiar script. The band is probably going to open with something upbeat (\u201cLet the Good Times Roll\u201d is a regular option) and then they are going to lead you through some others (a few jams, a set break, at least a couple definitive hits, an interlude for \u201cDrums\u201d and \u201cSpace,\u201d the grand finale, and the inevitable return for the encore, usually slow and sweet). And all the time you are just waiting, waiting, waiting, for that climactic moment when maybe they will drop into \u201cMorning Dew,\u201d or make the pitch-perfect switch from \u201cChina Cat Sunflower\u201d into \u201cI Know You Rider.\u201d And yet it\u2019s still surprising, because you don\u2019t know what they\u2019re doing to get there or when, and maybe you will end up somewhere else entirely, like in an extended riff during \u201cEyes of the World,\u201d but then you come back into yourself, called back by some familiar, beautiful line that is etched into your heart: \u201cThere comes a redeemer \u2026\u201d Jeff Chimenti make me come!<\/p>\n

\"\"

This is Jeff Chimenti.<\/p><\/div>\n

That\u2019s what it\u2019s like for me, anyway; I can\u2019t really say what it would be like for you. But I can say with total certainty that this final night was the best show I\u2019ve ever seen, that everything was superlative. \u201cGood Lovin\u2019,\u201d which is not even that good of a song, was somehow amazing. \u201cHardest \u2018Good Lovin\u2019\u00a0\u2019 ever?\u201d asked a friend. Mayer played and sang \u201cAlthea\u201d heartrendingly before a pink sunset. \u201cBest \u2018Althea\u2019 ever?\u201d As it got dark, drones flew above the stadium in the formation of the Steal Your Face<\/em> logo and then later morphed into a skeleton that was tipping its hat to all of us, even to the thousands of people who couldn\u2019t get tickets and were listening from outside the stadium. (Two of my friends were among them.) Thank you San Francisco! Thank you Bobby! Thank you John!<\/p>\n

I thought about a poem by Mark Strand, the lines \u201cWe began to believe \/ the night would not end.\u201d And we did begin to believe that, hoping a little desperately for a rumored third set, even though logically we knew there would be a hard stadium curfew, and as someone said last summer, sitting on a curb after the last show of that year, out of cash to buy nitrous, \u201cAll good things must come to an end.\u201d But must they? That\u2019s what we\u2019re always wondering and testing, and maybe in part why the ends of these nights can tip toward extremes. The band played the ballad \u201cBrokedown Palace\u201d\u2014\u201cFare you well, fare you well \/ I love you more than words can tell\u201d\u2014and then in a moment of surprise, something no one saw coming, one last encore, another version of \u201cNot Fade Away.\u201d They had started the first San Francisco show with that song, and they came back to it, and it was both upbeat and tender, all of us pledging, \u201cYou know our love will not fade away!\u201d And the perfect thing is that it won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

Steal your face above the stadium.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sophie Haigney is the web editor of\u00a0<\/em>The Paris Review.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThat\u2019s what it\u2019s like for me, anyway; I can\u2019t really say what it would be like for you.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1345,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[68673],"tags":[14236,67827,18669,10329],"class_list":["post-164936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-overheard","tag-concerts","tag-featured","tag-grateful-dead","tag-john-mayer"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Final Dead Shows: Part Three by Sophie Haigney<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"July 19, 2023 \u2013 \u201cThat\u2019s what it\u2019s like for me, anyway; I can\u2019t really say what it would be like for you.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2023\/07\/19\/the-final-dead-shows-part-three\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Final Dead Shows: Part Three by Sophie Haigney\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"July 19, 2023 \u2013 \u201cThat\u2019s what it\u2019s like for me, anyway; 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