{"id":158671,"date":"2022-04-15T15:34:26","date_gmt":"2022-04-15T19:34:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=158671"},"modified":"2022-04-22T13:02:50","modified_gmt":"2022-04-22T17:02:50","slug":"on-girls-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/04\/15\/on-girls-online\/","title":{"rendered":"On Thomas Bernhard and Girls Online"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

From Kati Kelli’s “My tragic homeschooled past<\/a>.”<\/p><\/div>\n

You\u2019re on that old kick again, rereading Geoff Dyer\u2019s <\/span>Out of Sheer Rage<\/span><\/i><\/a> to refresh and resplendorize the senses, but why not go back to the source? It\u2019s never wrong to read Dyer\u2019s Thomas Bernhard (and, after all, <\/span>your<\/span><\/i> Bernhard). It\u2019s never bad to sit at Good Karma Caf\u00e9, in Philadelphia, at a little metal table out front, with Bernhard\u2019s novella <\/span>Walking<\/span><\/i><\/a>,<\/span><\/i> reading\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I ask myself, says Oehler, how can so much helplessness and so much misfortune and so much misery be possible? That nature can create so much misfortune and so much palpable horror. That nature can be so ruthless toward its most helpless and pitiable creatures. This limitless capacity for suffering, says Oehler. This limitless capricious will to procreate and then to survive misfortune.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

while a person pulls up with a carriage and introduces to the air a baby, a little baby who was born three days ago, and stands there holding this: \u201cLily.\u201d She explains as much\u2014the three-day thing\u2014and announces the name to inquirers (the nonreaders \u2026). Three days old only! Why is this little baby taking the air so soon? Why promenade now? This merciless tenderness might permeate the whole atmosphere now, while you read \u201cMy whole life long, I have refused to make a child, said Karrer, Oehler says, to add a new human being over and above the person that I am, I who am sitting in the most horrible imaginable prison and whom science ruthlessly labels as human,\u201d and laugh at combinations, at the caf\u00e9.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Caren Beilin
\n<\/b>You can read Sheila Heti\u2019s interview with Caren Beilin on the <\/i>Daily here<\/i><\/a>.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A woman is a woman, to borrow from Godard, but once she\u2019s online, argues Joanna Walsh in her new book-length essay,\u00a0<\/span>Girl Online: A User Manual<\/span><\/i><\/a>, she becomes a girl. In a series of meditations and \u201cthought experiments\u201d exploring motherhood, blogs, women\u2019s writing, and the meaning of work both on and off the screen, Walsh examines the relationship between looking and being looked at, watching and being watched, that is inherent to both the internet and femininity. \u201cWhat\u2019s a girl to do with communication technology?\u201d she asks. \u201cI mean both, \u2018Why is a girl like a screen?\u2019 and \u2018What is she doing in front of it \/ on it?\u2019 \u201d The answer is clear, Walsh explains, in a passage that draws from Marshall McLuhan\u2019s <\/span>Understanding Media<\/span><\/i>: \u201cSelling herself, of course.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Rhian Sasseen, engagement editor<\/b><\/p>\n

Kati Kelli was a girl online who was just being herself\u2014herself, in this case, being many, many different girls. The videos on her Youtube channel, <\/span>Kati Kelli Girl<\/span><\/a>, include sequences, somewhere between sketch comedy and video art, in which she dances \u201c<\/span>drunkenly<\/span><\/a>\u201d in a pink velour tracksuit and \u201cBeverly Hills mom\u201d wig, dances \u201c<\/span>interpretively<\/span><\/a>\u201d in a skeleton mask, plays with <\/span>Barbies<\/span><\/a>, and reads <\/span>\u201cDEEP poetry.\u201d<\/span><\/a>\u00a0 The rest are largely parodies of the now canonical forms of the girl-bedroom vlog genre: \u201c<\/span>I Have Daddy Issues<\/span><\/a>,\u201d \u201c<\/span>10 things about Kati Kelli<\/span><\/a>,\u201d \u201c<\/span>My Weight Loss Secret<\/span><\/a>.\u201d But describing her work as merely satirical doesn\u2019t do it justice; Kelli\u2019s experimentally edited monologues and musical numbers are also intimate, surreal, and, like all great comedy, somehow <\/span>true<\/span><\/i>. I encountered Kelli via <\/span>Girl Internet Show<\/span><\/i><\/a>, a feature-length \u201cmixtape\u201d of her work curated by Jane Schoenbrun and Jordan Wippell that screened Sunday at BAM. That same day, I had visited the Jewish Museum\u2019s <\/span>Jonas Mekas show<\/span><\/a>. Whereas the world captured by Mekas\u2019s \u201calways running\u201d camera\u2014flowers, birthday cakes, babies, couples in the park\u2014sometimes verges on a (beautiful) trope of \u201ceveryday life,\u201d Kelli\u2019s hyperperformances feel, always, intrusively, perversely real. \u201cIf I wasn\u2019t <\/span>real<\/span><\/i>, could I do <\/span>this<\/span><\/i>?\u201d she asks, in one video. \u201cI just blinked,\u201d she explains after a second. But we can\u2019t see; she\u2019s wearing huge, reflective sunglasses.<\/span><\/p>\n

Schoenbrun and Wippell\u2019s film, lovingly produced after the artist\u2019s untimely passing in 2019, features both Kelli\u2019s Youtube hits and several never-uploaded home movies. \u201cI\u2019m twenty-two, and I\u2019ve done nothing with my life \u2026 except be <\/span>ugly<\/span><\/i>,\u201d she whispers, in one of these few (seemingly) unscripted clips. Then she bats her heavily made-up eyelashes, trying out angles. Kelli always has the unmistakable look of a girl on camera who knows she\u2019s very hot\u2014which, of course, almost always involves fearing the opposite. The internal contradictions and multiple personalities that make up a person are explicit themes in her work, which one could characterize as the artistic output of an isolated young girl experimenting with costumes to explore her “identity.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But the most beautiful moments of Kelli\u2019s videos are those in which these experiments feel least intentional, when we\u2019re watching someone alone in her bedroom behaving randomly, without a script or audience\u2014when she doesn\u2019t seem to be playing at being anyone<\/span> at all. Sometimes, she\u2019ll pause and look blankly at the camera, as though her teleprompter has frozen. She seems to be waiting for words to come\u2014and when they do, it\u2019s like she\u2019s lip-reading her own on-screen reflection. \u201cI just have a kind of, um, natural chemistry with the camera,\u201d\u00a0<\/span>she says<\/span><\/a>. \u201cSo yeah, like, if you\u2019re wondering, like, Why am I so drawn to her but why, like\u2014why isn\u2019t she <\/span>good<\/span><\/i>\u2014it\u2019s because my talent is so raw that I haven\u2019t figured out how to you know \u2026 whatever.\u201d It\u2019s a huge loss that Kelli didn\u2019t have time to figure it out. Her videos are still up, though, <\/span>here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Olivia Kan-Sperling, assistant editor<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We recommend Thomas Bernhard\u2019s Walking, Girl Online: A User Manual, and Kati Kelli Girl\u2019s video art. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[68386],"tags":[67827,19499,883,7515,1782],"class_list":["post-158671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-reviews-review","tag-featured","tag-joanna-walsh","tag-staff-picks","tag-thomas-bernhard","tag-youtube"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nOn Thomas Bernhard and Girls Online by The Paris Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"April 15, 2022 \u2013 We recommend Thomas Bernhard\u2019s Walking, Girl Online: A User Manual, and Kati Kelli Girl\u2019s video art.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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