{"id":158127,"date":"2022-03-30T15:37:37","date_gmt":"2022-03-30T19:37:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=158127"},"modified":"2022-04-01T17:41:36","modified_gmt":"2022-04-01T21:41:36","slug":"david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/","title":{"rendered":"David Wojnarowicz\u2019s Home in the City"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_158132\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158132\" class=\"wp-image-158132 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-1024x626.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"626\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-1024x626.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-300x183.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-768x469.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-1536x939.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-2048x1251.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158132\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">David Wojnarowicz, <em>Oct. 22nd postcard<\/em>,\u00a0from the Jean Pierre Delage Archive of Letters, Postcards and Ephemera, 1979\u20131991. Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">David Wojnarowicz\u2019s final home was on the corner of Second Avenue and Twelfth Street on the Lower East Side. He moved in after the prior tenant, his mentor and former lover Peter Hujar, died of <small>AIDS<\/small>. A few months later, in 1988, David was diagnosed with <small>AIDS<\/small> himself; he\u2019d die in the Second Avenue apartment four years later at the age of thirty-seven.<\/span><br \/>\n<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every time I visit the corner across from his apartment, I picture David walking out the door on a cold morning. The puff of his breath, the posture I imagine being poor. The cartoon cow\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">he once spray-painted in the intersection for Peter to see from the window. David\u2019s tall frame in the same arched window, looking for men. \u201cSometimes I almost fall out the window,\u201d he says in a 1988 tape diary, \u201ctrying to watch them walk down the street.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d They\u2019re so hot and so sexy, he says, that it makes him laugh. I stand outside what is now a bagel shop and stare at the window where David laughed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Last year, I didn\u2019t visit the apartment for six months, because a doctor who worked in the area broke up with me, and I couldn\u2019t bear the idea of running into him, not in the indignity of summer humidity. When I finally walked up Second Avenue again, I stared at every pedestrian, paranoid, looking for a gait I recognized. Somehow David felt about as likely as the doctor to appear. Neither would look exactly as I expected, my memory having shifted their features. The fact that they had each been on this street at some point meant that they\u2019d continue to be there always. I have this sensation in New York sometimes\u2014that time is sedimentary, layering instead of progressing, that it\u2019s all happening at once.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_158147\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158147\" class=\"wp-image-158147 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches-1024x727.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"727\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches-1024x727.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches-300x213.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches-768x545.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches-1536x1090.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1982_friendly-cow-for-peter-hujar_3.5-x-5.5-inches.jpg 1823w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158147\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Untitled (\u201cFriendly Cow\u201d for Peter Hujar)<\/em>, 1982. Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">David grew up in New Jersey and New York, spending some of his adolescence homeless, turning tricks in Times Square. In his twenties, he often crashed with friends or family between apartments, and worked as a busboy. Creatively, David, who became known as a part of a scene of Lower East Side artists that emerged in the eighties, made all kinds of work: photographs, paintings, films, music, essays. In contemporary remembrances, he and his work are nearly always described as angry. Much is made of this rage, as if it were his primary characteristic. David, by his early thirties, was dying unnecessarily, as were many people in his community, and his work radiates a rational fury, a desire to live, a murderous daydream of justice; this was often aimed at politicians who unabashedly called <small>AIDS<\/small> a punishment for queerness. In <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Close to the Knives<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the memoir published the year before his death, David writes, \u201cI carry this rage in some moments like some kind of panic and yes I am horrified that I feel this desire for murder.\u201d But the feeling is paired with memories of \u201cthe faces and bodies of people I loved struggling for life, people I loved and people who I thought made a real difference in the world.\u201d<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> He was constantly saving sick animals. He believed in the value of beauty, even in plague times. His writing and tape diaries are tender, lustful, elegiac, self-critical.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I love David\u2019s mischievousness, like the time he released a herd of \u201ccock-a-bunnies,\u201d cockroaches with little ears and cottontails glued to them, into a group show at PS1 he hadn\u2019t been selected for, then added the exhibition to his resume.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I\u2019m moved by his tenderness, his tone in a journal entry from late 1978 when he describes sleeping with a new lover, Jean Pierre Delage, soon after moving in with his sister in Paris. In the morning, Jean Pierre made breakfast, heating coffee on a camping stove and taking butter and a half loaf of bread from the windowsill. This meal <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">tasted like food from the banquets of Monarchs,\u201d<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">he wrote, \u201cbut EVEN BETTER!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">David\u2019s early photographs are on display in a new gallery show, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dear Jean Pierre<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The David Wojnarowicz Correspondence with Jean Pierre Delage, 1979\u20131982<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Included are some from his Arthur Rimbaud in New York series, of Jean Pierre and others wearing a paper mask of the French poet\u2019s face while standing in the cruising grounds of the Hudson River piers, masturbating, shooting up. David felt a deep identification with Rimbaud: their lives paralleled in experiences of parental abandonment, their shared queerness and devotion to their art, and their birth years, which were exactly one hundred years apart. In the photo series, shot in the late seventies, David merges their lives, bringing Rimbaud\u2019s face into the haunts of his own youth. These portraits of fandom are some of David\u2019s best known images. <\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_158135\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets-.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158135\" class=\"wp-image-158135 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets--1024x724.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"724\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets--1024x724.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets--300x212.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets--768x543.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/rimbaud-j-p-briskets-.jpg 1404w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158135\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Arthur Rimbaud in New York (J-P Briskets), 1978\u20131979<\/em>. Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the show centers on David\u2019s letters to Jean Pierre following his 1979 return to New York, after that first stint in Paris. Hundreds of postcards, typewritten sheets, and handwritten notes on the back sides of artwork in glass displays line each wall of the two large rooms. The letters are journal-like in their thoroughness; they chronicle David\u2019s recurring searches for jobs and stable housing, the temporary acquisition of each. David is confused about his future but not about Jean Pierre, he insists, wondering if they should live together in Paris or New York, and when. \u201cI close my eyes and can see you,\u201d David responds to a letter Jean Pierre wrote on the M\u00e9tro, \u201cI hear the sounds of the train in the station, the lights, the sounds of the doors opening. Hmm \u2026\u201d<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The letters animate the young David who, decades after his death, I so longed to befriend. He is loving and forthright, attentive to the world around him. \u201c\u00c7a va,\u201d he opens many of the letters, peppering them with his limited French, like the names of the months\u2014maybe by juillet he\u2019ll have the money to visit Jean Pierre. In an early letter, David signs off: \u201cI am in a cafe in Brooklyn right now. Frank Sinatra on the jukebox\u2014a waitress who looks from outer space. Church bells ringing. Take care, love, David.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe wrote to each other every day, or almost every day,\u201d says Jean Pierre in French, in a videotaped interview playing in a small room off the main galleries. The letters could take up to three weeks to arrive. Some days, he\u2019d receive more than one, and he\u2019d always respond immediately. This ardent correspondence lasted three years, after which point Jean Pierre and David stayed in touch, but stopped planning for a future together. Jean Pierre saved the letters, he says in the interview, because right until the end\u2014and now he tears up\u2014he thought they might get back together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I returned to the main gallery on the night of the opening, I recognized Jean Pierre from the orange-brown tortoiseshell frames of his glasses among the minglers. I walked over and planted myself next to him, pretending to read a letter in the same glass case. He was wearing a gray herringbone crewneck over a mustard shirt, blue jeans. His hair had gone gray. Jean Pierre was pointing to the last letter, an epilogue of sorts, written in 1991, nearly a decade after the rest. He explained to a man standing next to him that the reference to apartment shopping was nonsensical, years after Jean Pierre had sought an apartment; by this point, David\u2019s mind was going. I lingered for a long time, watching Jean Pierre wave his hands, holding one end of his glasses in his mouth. I didn\u2019t speak to him: I was, in a sense, as proximate to David as I might ever hope to be, with someone who could answer my questions. But to speak to Jean Pierre would have been to turn on a light in the darkroom of my fandom. The exposure of his attention, his opinion, risked ruining something sacred to me, something very intimate that can be sustained only by apartness. That\u2019s what I want out of fandom, if you can call it that\u2014to love without accountability or surveillance. So I just stood there, transcribing his words and gestures in my notebook, until I feared it was becoming obvious, and then I walked out onto the street.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_158130\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158130\" class=\"wp-image-158130 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-1024x698.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"698\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-1024x698.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-768x523.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-1536x1047.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/jean-pierre-with-flower-copy-2048x1396.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158130\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Jean Pierre D. Normandie, France (Male series)<\/em>, 1980. Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019d seen David\u2019s letters before. I used to go to his archives in the Fales Library at NYU one afternoon a week before the pandemic, moving through the materials slowly, just an hour or so per trip. Voicemail tapes, mail, journals, his wallet, his glasses. I never made it to the glasses, actually. I was too afraid to reserve them. I asked a mentor of mine who also cared about David what you do once you have them, joking offhandedly about putting them on, which horrified her. To be honest, it would have embarrassed me to sit looking at them in public, in front of the docents and other researchers at the archives. A couple of weeks ago I was reading Garth Greenwell\u2019s novel <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cleanness<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on the train; I had to stop when a man sat next to me, afraid he\u2019d glimpse the sadomasochistic sex scene. I\u2019m sure the man wasn\u2019t looking over my shoulder, but it was too private a moment to share. It would be the same thing, to see the glasses in public.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One night when we were dating, I took the doctor to the corner across from David\u2019s. We\u2019d just eaten at the Jewish deli, bowing towards the space heater they\u2019d installed outside. I\u2019d gone on too long about the genius of a book by Sheila Heti he hadn\u2019t liked. I was always eager to talk about the scene of cock worship directed at a man named Israel, the heavy-handedness of its commentary on worship, the relatable farce. How religiosity can leak elsewhere for those of us prone to it. I defended the novel out of loyalty to the author. The doctor promised to try reading it again. Then I walked with him to David\u2019s corner. We stood staring, and the doctor asked me how I knew when to leave. I said it\u2019s just a feeling, like a long pause, and that\u2019s it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">\u201cI try talking to him wondering if he knows I\u2019m there, if he sees me,\u201d David writes after Peter\u2019s death. \u201cI know he sees me, he\u2019s in the wind, in the air around me. He covers the field in a fine mist. He\u2019s in his home in the city.\u201d \u00a0I don\u2019t think David could see the two of us, the doctor and me, looking at the windows of that same home in our city. But I felt that sensation of time overlapping, that we were all there at once, me with both men, onto whom I\u2019d affixed many projections, many hopes of kindredness.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_158133\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158133\" class=\"wp-image-158133 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior-1024x822.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"822\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior-1024x822.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior-300x241.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior-768x616.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/dec-15th-1980-dw-holiday-card-exterior.jpg 1465w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158133\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Dec. 26th postcard<\/em>, from the Jean Pierre Delage Archive of Letters, Postcards and Ephemera, 1979\u20131991. Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">I used to do this same exercise when I lived in Berlin, bringing out-of-town guests to Franz Kafka\u2019s old building\u2014\u201cThis was his view every morning!\u201d\u2014but I realized after a year that I had the wrong address. I\u2019d brought people to a random building and animated a false history, as if that\u2019s another layer too, the things we imagine to be true, living on top of or below reality.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There was a moment in the archives when a similar fiction ripped. I was reading David&#8217;s mail, sifting through postcards from Nan Goldin, bills, faxes from his agent. There was also a letter from a fan. A horny, obsessive letter. The writer dreamt of David three nights in a row. They\u2019d met once and there had been some electric current between them, the man wrote; he was sure they\u2019d fall in love, even at a distance. And in the same cream folder of correspondence there was a draft of David\u2019s response, a generous and measured typewritten note. He understood the velocity of fantasy, the way it can hook us by the belt loop and tug us along. From a distance, he wrote, \u201cYou can fill a person up with all associations and projections and myths and desires.\u201d<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Kindly, he reminded the man of his own human form, the reality of the embodied, actual David. \u201cI don\u2019t know what I represent to you,\u201d says David. \u201cYou don\u2019t really know me at all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With the letter in my hands, I looked around the room, caught, my cheeks flushing at the reprimand I was taking personally. Embarrassing, the publicness of the moment, like reading <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cleanness<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on the train. So David reached through the decades and caught me by the wrist, calling the bluff of our intimacy. I sat stunned, because there is no remedy for this feeling that no, it would have been different with me\u2014just more projection. <\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_158155\" style=\"width: 1034px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158155\" class=\"wp-image-158155 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-1024x791.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"791\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-1024x791.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-300x232.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-768x593.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-1536x1186.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/1980-iolo-carew-dw-b_w-photocopy-with-note-from-david-1-2048x1581.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-158155\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Postcard from the Jean Pierre Delage Archive of Letters, Postcards and Ephemera, 1979\u20131991.\u00a0Courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P\u00b7P\u00b7O\u00b7W, New York.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone dies, the traditional Jewish condolence is: May their memory be a blessing. This is a sentiment for the living, not the dead. I wonder what warping comes with fandom, when the relationship is mediated by inaccessibility or death; the attachment is some combination of honoring and consuming a legacy. I think of David, dressing his friends in the paper mask of Rimbaud, claiming a lineage in the poet, or the figure he imagined of the poet. I place myself, less because of identification, and more out of simple affection, in David\u2019s wake.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all those months away, it felt good to stand on David\u2019s corner again. This time, it was the right apartment, I was sure. There\u2019s a movie theater on the ground floor; it used to be a Yiddish one. I walked by the building and held out two fingers, dragging them along the stone wall till they buzzed from the vibration. And when I turned the corner onto an empty street I held my fingertips to my lips, the way I do after I touch the mezuzah on the doorframe of my apartment, but only when I am alone. I remember so clearly driving home once in high school after a first kiss, through a green light on Vista Street, up the hill, with my left hand on the wheel of my father\u2019s Prius, the fingers of my right hand to my lips, the kiss fizzing and crackling there. And it felt like that, walking down Eleventh Street, the same fingers pressed covertly to my mouth. The same strike of connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I walked back towards the train, I felt a kind of attentiveness. A great mood. I think because of the intimacy, which fascinates me because it\u2019s totally false, and also because I felt a rush of relief to not have seen the doctor, whose gait, it occurs to me now, I can no longer picture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><span class=\"il\">Hannah<\/span> <span class=\"il\">Gold<\/span> is a writer based in Brooklyn. She coedits <\/em>Berlin Quarterly<em>\u00a0and teaches writing at Columbia University.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThat\u2019s what I want out of fandom, if you can call it that\u2014to love without accountability or surveillance.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2225,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[6687,68395,15825,67827,26946,16289,182,2824],"class_list":["post-158127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-apartment","tag-breakup","tag-david-wojnarowicz","tag-featured","tag-gallery-shows","tag-garth-greenwell","tag-letters","tag-sheila-heti"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>David Wojnarowicz\u2019s Home in the City by Hannah Gold<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"March 30, 2022 \u2013 \u201cThat\u2019s what I want out of fandom, if you can call it that\u2014to love without accountability or surveillance.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"David Wojnarowicz\u2019s Home in the City by Hannah Gold\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"March 30, 2022 \u2013 \u201cThat\u2019s what I want out of fandom, if you can call it that\u2014to love without accountability or surveillance.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Paris Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/parisreview\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-03-30T19:37:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-01T21:41:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2090\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1277\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Gold\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Gold\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"13 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Gold\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/64e2b36026daa802bde296401f688cc4\"},\"headline\":\"David Wojnarowicz\u2019s Home in the City\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-03-30T19:37:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-01T21:41:36+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/\"},\"wordCount\":2690,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/david-wojnarowiczs-home-in-the-city\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/oct-22nd-1980-dw-photo-collage-david-target-folded-card-1024x626.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"apartment\",\"breakup\",\"David Wojnarowicz\",\"Featured\",\"gallery shows\",\"Garth Greenwell\",\"letters\",\"Sheila Heti\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Arts &amp; 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