{"id":151939,"date":"2021-04-14T19:24:09","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T23:24:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=151939"},"modified":"2021-04-14T19:24:09","modified_gmt":"2021-04-14T23:24:09","slug":"2021-whiting-awards-ladan-osman-poetry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2021\/04\/14\/2021-whiting-awards-ladan-osman-poetry\/","title":{"rendered":"Ladan Osman, Poetry"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Ladan Osman. Photo: Beowulf Sheehan.<\/p><\/div>\n

Ladan Osman is the author of Exiles of Eden<\/em> (Coffee House Press, 2019), winner of the Hurston\/Wright Legacy Award, and The Kitchen-Dweller\u2019s Testimony<\/em> (University of Nebraska Press, 2015), winner of the Sillerman Prize. She has received fellowships from the Lannan Foundation, Cave Canem, the Michener Center, and the Fine Arts Work Center. Osman\u2019s first short film (codirected), Sam Underground<\/em>, profiled Sam Diaz, a teenage busker who would become the 2020 American Idol. She was the writer for Sun of the Soil<\/em>, a short documentary on the complicated legacy of Malian emperor Mansa Musa. It was selected for inclusion in the Cannes International PanAfrican Film Festival and the New York African Film Festival. Osman\u2019s directorial debut, The Ascendants<\/em>, is streaming now on TOPIC. She lives in New York.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A poem from\u00a0<\/em>Exiles of Eden:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHalf-Life\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t turn a scientific problem into a common love story.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014Solaris<\/em> (1972)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

How can I fail outside and inside our home? I decay in our half-life.<\/em>
\nHow can I fail with my body? How do I stay alone in this half-life?<\/em>
\nI started a ghazal about my hope\u2019s stress fracture.
\nI require rest from your unfocused eyes, my heat,
\nwhich is becoming objective and observable.
\nA friend asks, \u201cWhat are you waiting for?
\nThe straw that breaks the camel\u2019s back?\u201d
\nMaybe I am the straw.
\nMaybe I am hay. I made a list of rhyming words:
\nbray, flay, array.
\nThey relate to farms, decaying things,
\ngray days, dismay.
\nI am recently reckless about making a display
\nof my unhappiness. Perhaps you may survey it.
\nPerhaps I may stray from it, go to the wrong home
\nby accident and say, \u201cOh! Here already?\u201d
\nYou know I\u2019m fraying.
\nYou don\u2019t try to braid me together.
\nYou don\u2019t notice a tomcat wiggling his hind legs,
\nready to gather all my fabric,
\nhis paws over my accidental tassels.
\nI\u2019ve learned how to be appropriate sitting on my hands
\non the couch, not allowed to touch you.
\n\u201cSex?\u201d you say, like I asked you to make a carcass our shelter. <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t recount my dreams to you
\nbecause you\u2019re insulted in most of them.
\nRemember when I asked you to break into a building?
\n\u201cLet\u2019s have an adventure, any.\u201d
\nI dreamed another man was taking me into a locked school.
\n\u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d he said. No face, his hand straight behind him.
\nHe was wearing a black peacoat.
\nMany men wear black wool coats. You have one.
\nHell, I have one. I may have been leading myself.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long will you live this half-life?\u201d
\nmy mother asks during a phone call when, so absent
\nof any particular emotion, I couldn\u2019t catch my breath.
\nShe thought I was upset, losing my temper in the street.
\nIt\u2019s months later, and when we talk
\nshe says, \u201cI was so happy today. Does that make sense?
\nAnd here I am, sleeping on a bed older than your baby sister.\u201d
\nI\u2019m not sure what bothers me but my voice gets low
\nand I repeat myself.
\nI raise and drop my palate without sound.
\n\u201cGood-night,\u201d we say, each with something unaddressed,
\nwithout allay.<\/p>\n

I try to remember half-lives, learned in science rooms,
\nair dense with iron, vinegar. The process of dating old bones,
\nold stones. Unstable nuclei, decay by two or more processes.
\nExponential death, exponential halving of a life.
\nMy mother has given me something to pursue and solve.
\nI study the internet:
\n\u201cThe biological half-life of water in a human being is about
\n7 to 14 days, though this can be altered by his\/her behavior.\u201d
\nThis makes me want to fall asleep in the bathtub.
\nIn this house, it\u2019s how we escape each other,
\nwhere we find another warm body, moisture,
\nwork a sweat on our brows.<\/p>\n

I search doubling time<\/em>, a related term,
\nbecause I hate feeling fractioned.
\nKitchens, bowls of water steaming under dough:
\nHow long will it take to grow to twice its size?
\nDepends on rack placement, heat of the water,
\ntype of bread, whether the house is humid.
\nThis house is only humid in the bathroom,
\nafter a long soak with the door closed. Or else,
\nin summer. But it\u2019s winter and a long time
\nbefore our flesh can rise and get sticky
\nin hands, on counters, in a proper resting place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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