{"id":140427,"date":"2019-10-23T13:00:48","date_gmt":"2019-10-23T17:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=140427"},"modified":"2019-10-23T14:23:35","modified_gmt":"2019-10-23T18:23:35","slug":"just-enjoy-every-fucking-blessed-breath","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2019\/10\/23\/just-enjoy-every-fucking-blessed-breath\/","title":{"rendered":"Just Enjoy Every Fucking Blessed Breath"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_140446\" style=\"width: 731px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/20obit-tosches2-jumbo.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-140446\" class=\"size-full wp-image-140446\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/20obit-tosches2-jumbo.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"721\" height=\"531\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/20obit-tosches2-jumbo.jpg 721w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/20obit-tosches2-jumbo-300x221.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-140446\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Kate Simon<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s hard to imagine Nick Tosches ever having been young. His interests, the way he dressed, the language he used, his love of cigarettes\u2014everything about Tosches was out of time. He wasn\u2019t so much from a different era as he was from a different sensibility, one that refused to distinguish between highbrow and lowbrow, didn\u2019t countenance small talk, wore ties and stood when a lady entered the room, but also trucked in ethnic slurs. He saw no contradiction in being both courtly and vulgar.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Tosches, who died on Sunday at the age of sixty-nine, began his writing career as a record reviewer for <\/em>Creem<em> and <\/em>Rolling Stone<em>. Throughout the seventies, he wrote about music with audacious flair, mixing Latin phrases and Biblical themes with a sailor\u2019s vocabulary. Album reviews couldn\u2019t hold him, and in 1988 he published his first novel, <\/em>Cut Numbers<em>, about a loan shark.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>In 2012, he published <\/em>Me and the Devil<em>, a novel about a writer named Nick who lived in the same downtown New York neighborhood Tosches lived in, and had the same opinions, friends, and outlook, and who regained his waning vitality by drinking the blood of young women during violent sexual bouts. \u201cIt\u2019s the vampirism of trying to regain something of youth through young flesh,\u201d he said when I visited him, on a magazine assignment, in his brick-walled apartment. We talked for two hours, sometimes about his book, but more often about vanity, technology, illness, how New York had changed, and old age. Tosches was observant, restless, and hilarious. Our conversation remained unpublished\u2014here\u2019s a small part of it, in tribute.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>I think this is a book that no one under the age of forty or fifty could have written.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>No matter how gifted, or what powers of imagination they had, no one under forty or even fifty could pull it off. It\u2019s a book about aging as much as it is about anything else. And seeing the world change. It\u2019s a book about love. And it\u2019s always, in a way, about books, because there are certain small parcels of ancient wisdom I\u2019ve been fortunate enough to discover through the years, and have held closely. And I keep trying to spread them. I don\u2019t even know if people are looking for wisdom these days. <!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>I think people are looking for better cable TV service.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re right! Or the smart phone with the next gizmo. And that says a lot. It\u2019s like everybody\u2019s afraid to die, but how often do you hear, Oh, I can\u2019t wait until this week is over? You want to get closer to what terrifies you most. Through writing a book, I get close to what scares me about myself. People just \u2026 they\u2019re not really living. It\u2019s just a certain\u2014this breath is really the only thing we have. That\u2019s it, you know? That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>Abbie Hoffman once said, \u201cThey tell you when you get old, you get wiser. You know what you get? You get hemorrhoids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>Well, I had hemorrhoids when I was nineteen and really rocking, so I don\u2019t know what the hell he was talking about. He was a guy who couldn\u2019t get enough attention, so he killed himself! Talk about not living your life! He just had a fabricated life. He didn\u2019t know what to do with the real one.<\/p>\n<p>I just know that the world is going more insane. One consolation, one good part about getting much closer to the grave than to the cradle, is that the feeling of being a speck in the universe, which we all are, doesn\u2019t bother me one bit. I never, ever thought I\u2019d outlive civilization! Which I think I\u2019ve already done. And it feels great!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>When did the decline of civilization begin?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>I think it\u2019s fallen apart in the last \u2026 like, right now. As we speak, it\u2019s just going to hell. The whole thing is going down, and I like it. I like watching people get stupider and stupider, \u2018til they couldn\u2019t tell if they were getting raped unless their fucking phone rang and someone across the street told them.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>I mentioned Abbie Hoffman in order to say that getting older is always a surprise to people. We\u2019ve seen our grandparents and parents get older, yet it\u2019s still a surprise when it happens to us.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>Well, up to a point, it\u2019s virgin territory, and it\u2019s like, Oh, this is going to go on forever, except that life is going to get better. And then you realize that it doesn\u2019t. If you live the right way\u2014and the right way to me would be considered the wrong way by many\u2014you do gain a good outlook, and it comes down to this\u2014it doesn\u2019t pay to worry. It doesn\u2019t pay to give a fuck. Because ninety-nine percent of what you worry about ain\u2019t never gonna happen. What\u2019s gonna happen is gonna come over your left shoulder and just do you in.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>Did you write this book, among other things, to work out your understanding of being older?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">INTERVIEWER<\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s your current understanding?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">TOSCHES<\/p>\n<p>Just enjoy every fucking blessed breath. Just enjoy it, because it\u2019s not getting better. Even at the senior rates, I don\u2019t go to movies. I derive my entertainment from bad news. It\u2019s perverse but it\u2019s funny. It\u2019s so fuckin\u2019 funny to overhear people, to observe people. It\u2019s a riot. I don\u2019t like to read newspapers or watch the news. It\u2019s all right here. I just walk out on the street, and there it is.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Rob Tannenbaum writes about music and pop culture for the <\/em>New York Times<em>, <\/em>LA Times<em>, <\/em>New York Magazine<em>, and other publications. He is the coauthor of <\/em>I Want My MTV<em>, which has been optioned by A24.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A small snippet of a never-published interview with iconic rock journalist Nick Tosches.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1862,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-140427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-in-memoriam"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Just Enjoy Every Fucking Blessed Breath by Rob Tannenbaum<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"October 23, 2019 \u2013 A small snippet of a never-published interview with iconic rock journalist Nick Tosches.\" \/>\n<meta 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