{"id":116150,"date":"2017-09-29T11:00:03","date_gmt":"2017-09-29T15:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=116150"},"modified":"2017-09-29T11:52:58","modified_gmt":"2017-09-29T15:52:58","slug":"packing-list-writers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2017\/09\/29\/packing-list-writers\/","title":{"rendered":"A Packing List for Writers"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Today, I wrote a friend for advice about packing. I\u2019ll be going from Virginia to Nashville to New York City, after which I\u2019ll be flying to Rome for three weeks. My friend mentioned that his wife takes up more than her share of their suitcase, because she believes men don\u2019t need as many clothes. I wouldn\u2019t consider sharing a suitcase with my husband. It\u2019s disappointing enough to see your Jockey sports bra in another country\u2014it\u00a0looks so sad in hotel rooms abroad (bad pun!). How much sadder, then, to find it entangled amid chargers, extension cords, computer cords, unwound dental floss (how would I know how that happened? Big hello, though, to my dental hygienist), earphones, noise-canceling headphones, dangling cords, and bungee cords (you never can tell). I\u2019d be hugely foiled trying to extract my underwear. Who wants to deal with a bunch of cords doing the kudzu around a bra when Caravaggio beckons?<\/p>\n

Though it seems to be common knowledge, I just discovered that it\u2019s best to roll everything. Ankle boots are all-purpose, and you can roll delicate stuff into them with your socks. It\u2019s the packing version of making a jelly roll (okay, you wouldn\u2019t plunge a jelly roll into your boot). When you remove the boots, empty them right away. Santa spoiler alert: the next morning you might find (rolled up<\/em>) twenty dollars\u00a0in the toe!\u00a0<\/p>\n

What to bring? There are already numerous articles about all-purpose wrinkle-free clothes you can layer (I\u2019ve already made one cooking analogy, so I\u2019ll avoid talking about being human phyllo dough), along with \u201cversatile\u201d scarves (that adjective won\u2019t go away until scarves do), dangly earrings that conduct heat (patent pending), and lipstick that doubles as eye shadow. You can also line your eyes with a no. 2\u00a0pencil (kidding!) and wear your boot shoehorn as a bolo tie, improvised from one of your husband\u2019s cords. My tips below are helpful primarily for writers, but absolutely anyone, cis-writered or not, might benefit:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Take an external mouse and use it to kill big bugs! No hotel has a flyswatter. Have you ever once seen one?<\/li>\n
  2. You know those scented, \u201cpersonal\u201d travel candles that are supposed to set the mood, calm your mind, and give you double points on your AmEx? Take one with you to the church in Rome so you don\u2019t have to rationalize and\/or feel bad if you can\u2019t buy one. You\u2019ll still want to symbolically light a candle to pray that more insight comes to you in the future about, say, packing. Or that you get money. Or, even though it\u2019s technically too late, you\u2019ll want to remember your dissertation advisor fondly. (He\/she\/they always liked symbolic gestures!)<\/li>\n
  3. Leave the Kindle at home. Read galleys on the plane. If you \u201close\u201d them, the publisher will always send another.<\/li>\n
  4. Leave the bra at home. See if anybody notices, underneath those layers. (No fair hunching your shoulders: that\u2019s reserved for a late night at the computer. Use the scarf to bind your breasts those times you feel you absolutely must.)<\/li>\n
  5. Don\u2019t add weight by carrying a pen. Do you ever write in longhand, let alone on planes? If mere swiping won\u2019t do it, sign with your finger. Raise that finger again for the flight attendant. A double Cognac? Just make sure it\u2019s the right finger, as the employee serving business class will already dislike you. (\u201cNo underwear!\u201d\u00a0she\u2019s thinking, \u201cAnd she kept sniffing a little candle that was probably some drug she tongued the minute I turned away.\u201d)<\/li>\n
  6. No hairbrush. The \u201cbeachy\u201d look is always in. Or use earphones to tie back your hair.<\/li>\n
  7. As for the clothes: you\u2019re a writer. People used to know what writers looked like, but no more. (Faulkner in that vest; Hemingway\u2019s big belly inflating a guayabera shirt that might also serve as a flotation device; Susan Sontag, who understood the timelessness of boots, not only the timelessness of herself. You can look any<\/em> way, because nobody will believe that you\u2019re a writer. That\u2019s because they, too, are writers who\u2019ve settled on a look entirely different<\/em> from yours. Perhaps they will not be so clever as to use their carry-on as a back pillow, or to use their Spanx as a head warmer, under all that germ-ridden air blowing down (when worn upside down, the leg openings above each ear provide the perfect opening through which to thread cords).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Ann Beattie\u2019s short story \u201cRuckersville<\/a>\u201d appears in our Fall Issue<\/a>. She is the author, most recently, of\u00a0<\/em>The Accomplished Guest. Read her Art of Fiction<\/a> interview.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Today, I wrote a friend for advice about packing. I\u2019ll be going from Virginia to Nashville to New York City, after which I\u2019ll be flying to Rome for three weeks. My friend mentioned that his wife takes up more than her share of their suitcase, because she believes men don\u2019t need as many clothes. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":579,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12508],"tags":[30796,30797,8128,1244,1666,1631,6737],"class_list":["post-116150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-on-travel","tag-amex","tag-bolo-tie","tag-caravaggio","tag-kindle","tag-nashville","tag-rome","tag-virginia"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Packing List for Writers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cTake an external mouse and use it to kill big bugs! 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