{"id":114718,"date":"2017-08-31T13:01:21","date_gmt":"2017-08-31T17:01:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=114718"},"modified":"2017-08-30T17:28:25","modified_gmt":"2017-08-30T21:28:25","slug":"two-in-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2017\/08\/31\/two-in-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Two in One"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a>

A textile design by Varvara Stepanova, 1924.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t trust those Judas Iscariots, those chameleons! In our day, faith is easier to lose than an old glove\u2014and I\u2019ve lost it!<\/p>\n

It was evening. I was taking the horsecar.\u00a0It isn\u2019t right that I, as a high-ranking official, take the horsecar, but on this occasion I wore a fur greatcoat and could conceal my face in its marten collar. It\u2019s cheaper, you know … Despite the cold and late hour, the car was crammed full. Nobody recognized me. The marten collar allowed me to travel incognito. Riding, I dozed and studied the little ones …<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, that isn\u2019t him!\u201d I thought, gazing at a little man in a rabbit-fur coat. \u201cIt isn\u2019t him. No, it is him! Him!\u201d<\/p>\n

I pondered, believing and not believing my eyes …<\/p>\n

The little man in the rabbit-fur coat looked awfully like Ivan Kapitonich, one of my clerks. Ivan Kapitonich is a small, dumbstruck, squashed-up creature, existing only to retrieve fallen handkerchiefs and offer his salutations. He\u2019s young, but his back is stooped, knees bent, hands filthy and arms stretched at attention … His face looks as though it\u2019s been slammed in a door or smacked. It\u2019s sour and pitiful; looking at him one wants to drone a dirge and sob. At the sight of me he always shakes, pales, and blushes, as though I were going to eat or murder him, and when I reprimand him, he freezes and trembles with every limb.<\/p>\n

I know of no one more lowly, meek, or insignificant than he. I don\u2019t even know any animals quieter than he is …<\/p>\n

The little man in the rabbit-fur coat seriously reminded me of this Ivan Kapitonich: his very image! Only this one was not as hunched as he, didn\u2019t seem dumbstruck, held himself loosely and, most disturbingly, was speaking to his neighbor about politics. The entire car had to hear it.<\/p>\n

\u201cGambetta croaked!\u201d he was saying, swiveling and waving his arms.\u00a0\u201cThat\u2019s well for Bismarck. Gambetta, he knew the score. He\u2019d have gone to war with the Germans and taken reparations, Ivan Matveich! This was a genius, you see. He was French, but with a Russian soul. A talent!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, you unbelievable scum!<\/p>\n

When the conductor approached with the tickets, he left Bismarck in peace. \u201cIs there a reason it\u2019s so dark in your car?\u201d he turned on the conductor. \u201cYou haven\u2019t got any candles, is that it? What is this nonsense? Too bad there\u2019s nobody to teach you a lesson! In another country, you\u2019d learn! The public doesn\u2019t serve you; you serve the public! Devil take it! I don\u2019t understand\u2014who\u2019s in charge here!\u201d<\/p>\n

In a moment he began to demand that we all move over.<\/p>\n

\u201cMove over! Do as you\u2019re told! Give Madame a seat! Show some manners! Conductor! Here, conductor! You took the fare, now provide a seat! This is unseemly!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s forbidden to smoke here!\u201d The conductor shouted at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho forbids it? Who has the right? That\u2019s an encroachment on liberty! I allow no one to encroach on my liberty! I\u2019m a free man!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, you unbelievable scum! Staring at his mug, I couldn\u2019t believe my eyes. No, that isn\u2019t him. It can\u2019t be! That one doesn\u2019t know the words \u2018liberty\u2019 and \u2018Gambetta.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cI say, what wonderful customs we have,\u201d he said, dropping the cigarette. \u201cAnd to live with such people! They\u2019re mad about form, about the letter of the law! Formalists, philistines! It\u2019s suffocating!\u201d<\/p>\n

I could no longer contain my laughter. Hearing my laugh, he quickly glanced my way, and his voice shook. He had recognized my laugh and, likely, my coat. His back immediately stooped, face momentarily soured, voice stilled, arms went to attention, knees bent. An instantaneous change! I doubted no longer: this was Ivan Kapitonich, my clerk. He sat and hid his nose in rabbit fur.<\/p>\n

Now I looked at his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould it be,\u201d I thought, \u201cthat this dumbstruck, squashed-up manikin knows how to say such things as \u2018philistine\u2019 and \u2018liberty\u2019? Really? Could it be? Yes, he knows. It\u2019s unlikely, but true. Oh, you unbelievable scum!\u201d<\/p>\n

Trust, after this, the sorry physiognomies of these chameleons! Me, I have no more faith. Fool me once!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Translated from the Russian by Elina\u00a0Alter.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Alter is a writer and translator in New York. Look for her translations of Chekhov sketches each day this week on the<\/i>\u00a0Daily.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don\u2019t trust those Judas Iscariots, those chameleons! In our day faith is easier to lose than an old glove\u2014and I\u2019ve lost it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1233,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[4738,30357,17730,30363,30362,30358,30359,30356,30361,28787,30360],"class_list":["post-114718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-anton-chekhov","tag-chameleons","tag-coats","tag-duality-of-man","tag-formalists","tag-horsecar","tag-ivan-kapitonich","tag-judas-iscariots","tag-liberty","tag-philistines","tag-russian-soul"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nChekhov On: Two in One<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Chekhov considers the duality of man and spies on his lowly, meek, and insignificant clerk.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2017\/08\/31\/two-in-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Two in One by Anton Chekhov\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"August 31, 2017 \u2013 Don\u2019t trust those Judas Iscariots, those chameleons! 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