{"id":11414,"date":"2011-02-11T11:11:57","date_gmt":"2011-02-11T16:11:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=11414"},"modified":"2011-02-15T15:09:58","modified_gmt":"2011-02-15T20:09:58","slug":"distorted-sexuality-winking-etiquette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2011\/02\/11\/distorted-sexuality-winking-etiquette\/","title":{"rendered":"Distorted Sexuality; Winking Etiquette"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"What would you recommend as a good, raw novel\/short story about characters with distorted sexuality?<\/em> \u2014<\/em>Shira, Israel<\/p>\n

Distorted<\/em>\u2014such an interesting word! If I understand your question, you\u2019re looking for fiction about characters who feel that their desires have somehow been bent out of shape, whether by life or by something native to them. That describes many of Mary Gaitskill\u2019s protagonists, for instance the two heroines of Two Girls, Fat and Thin<\/a><\/em>, or the narrator of Veronica<\/a><\/em>. Dennis Cooper\u2019s early novels are full of this kind of anxiety\u2014<\/em>books like Closer<\/a><\/em>, Frisk<\/a><\/em>, and Guide<\/a><\/em>. But maybe you\u2019re thinking of another kind of story, like Lolita<\/a><\/em>, where sex acts as a distorting lens for the narrator\u2014<\/em>but the reader sees clearly. You will find that sort of dramatic irony in Evan Connell\u2019s Diary of a Rapist<\/a><\/em> or Dom Casmurro<\/a><\/em>, by Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis. You might also enjoy Lydia Davis\u2019s story \u201cStory,\u201d\u00a0about how hard it is to think straight when you\u2019re unhappy in love. As the title suggests, it\u2019s one of the oldest stories in the book.<\/p>\n

I just read a blog post about why sending someone a \u201cwink\u201d\u00a0on a dating Web site is stupid. This seemed like a reasonable argument to make. But then the blog writer went on to say that in real life, it is \u201ctotally unacceptable\u201d\u00a0to wink. The guy said that if you wink at a stranger in a bar, the stranger would call the police. Is that true? Or is it sometimes okay to wink (in real life)? Should I save it for specific situations? (Which ones?)\u00a0\u2014<\/em><\/em>Georgia<\/p>\n

You should believe only half of what you read on the Internet. To my knowledge, winking is neither illegal nor actionable in any county that permits the sale of alcoholic beverages. (I haven\u2019t surveyed the rest.) Like the eye roll, the wink is a gesture of complicity. Between friends, it means you share a secret. Between strangers, it means you wish you had a secret to share. You should\u2014<\/em>you must!\u2014<\/em>wink whenever the spirit moves you.<\/p>\n

Have a question for <\/em>The Paris Review? E-mail<\/a> us.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What would you recommend as a good, raw novel\/short story about characters with distorted sexuality? \u2014Shira, Israel Distorted\u2014such an interesting word! If I understand your question, you\u2019re looking for fiction about characters who feel that their desires have somehow been bent out of shape, whether by life or by something native to them. That describes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[57,17,1850,456,179,1851],"class_list":["post-11414","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-the-paris-review","tag-advice","tag-books","tag-distorted-sexuality","tag-lorin-stein","tag-sex","tag-winking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDistorted Sexuality; Winking Etiquette by Lorin Stein<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"February 11, 2011 \u2013 What would you recommend as a good, raw novel\/short story about characters with distorted sexuality? \u2014Shira, Israel Distorted\u2014such an interesting word! 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