{"id":114086,"date":"2017-08-17T09:00:49","date_gmt":"2017-08-17T13:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=114086"},"modified":"2017-08-17T15:26:00","modified_gmt":"2017-08-17T19:26:00","slug":"cassandra-at-weddings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2017\/08\/17\/cassandra-at-weddings\/","title":{"rendered":"Cassandras at Weddings, and Other Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have a question for the editors of\u00a0<\/em>The Paris Review?\u00a0Email<\/a>\u00a0us.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear\u00a0<\/em>Paris Review,<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m the only child of a single mom, who\u2019s obviously been my best friend from the start. But\u00a0here\u2019s the thing: after twenty-six years, she recently remarried\u2014okay, it\u2019s been two years since\u2014but I\u2019m still \u201cadjusting.\u201d I read\u00a0<\/em>Cassandra at the Wedding<\/a>\u00a0around the time my mom got hitched, and it was exactly what I needed. Could you recommend a few more of those sorts of novels … to see me through? Ones with kids wrestling with their parents\u2019 love lives or ones about mothers and daughters\u00a0(nothing too cheesy, please), or\u2014well, you get the gist.<\/em><\/p>\n

Love,<\/em>
\n A Mama\u2019s Girl<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Girl,<\/p>\n

Off the top of my head, first I think of Mona Simpson\u2019s Anywhere but Here<\/em> (1986), about a girl growing up as the confidante and caretaker of her reckless, volatile, romantic (and more than slightly crazy) single mother. Simpson published a chapter with the Review<\/em>. You can read it here<\/a>. Second, I think of Annie John<\/em>, by Jamaica Kincaid\u2014about a girl\u2019s painful individuation from the mother she adores.\u00a0Third, I think of Swann\u2019s Way<\/em>: it\u2019s not mother-daughter, but it is a novel\u2014about love and sex and art and everything else\u2014that begins with the pain of having to share one\u2019s mother. And my colleague Julia Berick\u2014who came to the Review<\/em> by way of our neighborhood bookstore, 192 Books\u2014recommends How to Be Both<\/em>, by Ali Smith, in which the grown heroine has to face up to her mother\u2019s extramarital crush.<\/p>\n

She adds one more: \u201cAgostino<\/em>,\u00a0by Alberto Moravia, is a tiny, perfect sketch of the birth and death of a boy\u2019s comprehension of his mother\u2019s sexuality. As soon as he realizes, its existence it is lost to him. But, in seeing his mother\u2019s sexual adulthood, he begins to approach his own. (And, of course, it\u2019s Italian.)\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Dear<\/em> Paris Review,<\/em><\/p>\n

Wedding season is almost over except that, for a twenty-eight-year-old, it is just beginning. I admit to having beyond my fair share of wedding angst, and rereading\u00a0<\/em>Cassandra at the Wedding\u00a0seems not be helping. What can I pack, among the dry-cleaning bags that will change my whiskey-sour disposition to a bubbly mood?<\/em><\/p>\n

Yours,<\/em>
\n A Guest<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Guest,<\/p>\n

For those who are scratching their heads, Cassandra at the Wedding<\/em> is a novel by Dorothy Baker, first published in 1962, about a young woman going home to California for her twin sister\u2019s wedding. Long a cult classic, it was reissued five years ago by New York Review Classics and has since achieved something like Stoner<\/em> status. That is, it\u2019s quietly become a book that lots of people love\u2014without ever having had (or needed) a \u201cmoment\u201d or some big revival. Just the fate you\u2019d wish for a favorite book. And, clearly, it is a favorite with readers of the Daily<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But to your question,\u00a0there is a very funny wedding story in Matt Klam\u2019s one story collection, \u201cSam the Cat.\u201d (It\u2019s a very funny book all around.)\u00a0And maybe it goes without saying, but either of you Cassandra<\/em> fans ought to read The Member of the Wedding<\/em>, Carson McCullers\u2019s 1946 masterpiece, about a\u00a0lonely twelve-year-old girl watching her older sister get married. It is a classic of matrimonial alienation and generally feeling left out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m the only child of a single mom, who\u2019s obviously been my best friend from the start. But here\u2019s the thing: after twenty-six years, she recently remarried.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[6654,57,30147,1504,30146,30145,4209,17,3529,30144,19407,4902,575,657,30148,4206,53,725,30149,604],"class_list":["post-114086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-the-paris-review","tag-192-books","tag-advice","tag-agostino","tag-alberto-moravia","tag-annie-john","tag-anywhere-but-here","tag-ask-the-paris-review-2","tag-books","tag-carson-mccullers","tag-cassandra-at-the-wedding","tag-dorothy-baker","tag-jamaica-kincaid","tag-marcel-proust","tag-marriage","tag-matthew-klam","tag-mona-simpson","tag-reading","tag-swanns-way","tag-the-member-of-the-wedding","tag-weddings"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCassandras at Weddings: Advice from \u2018The Paris Review\u2019<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What to read before attending a wedding, especially if the bride\u2019s your mother. 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