{"id":111905,"date":"2017-06-19T18:09:33","date_gmt":"2017-06-19T22:09:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=111905"},"modified":"2017-06-19T18:22:02","modified_gmt":"2017-06-19T22:22:02","slug":"the-case-of-the-purloined-portrait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2017\/06\/19\/the-case-of-the-purloined-portrait\/","title":{"rendered":"The Case of the Purloined Portrait"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_111907\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-111907\" class=\"wp-image-111907\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass.jpg\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass.jpg 2687w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/grass-1024x1024.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-111907\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The portrait, now recovered.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>The Paris Review <\/em>is renowned for our parties, and we take pride in that. But sometimes things get carried away. Literally. <a href=\"http:\/\/pagesix.com\/2017\/06\/19\/rare-art-pilfered-from-paris-review-soiree\/\" target=\"_blank\">As <em>Page Six<\/em> reports<\/a>, a party to launch our Summer issue last week was marred by petty larceny: someone absconded with a portrait of G\u00fcnter Grass\u00a0drawn by Tomi Ungerer in 1965.<\/p>\n<p>Our digital director, Jeffery Gleaves, discovered the theft the next morning, when he noticed a Grass-shaped hole on the bathroom wall. (The portrait, like most of the <em>Review<\/em>\u2019s valuables, was hanging near the toilet.) If you were here, reader, you may have noticed a single tear roll down Jeff\u2019s cheek, as he vowed to \u201chunt the vermin down.\u201d\u00a0<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Cooler heads prevailed, and we set up an anonymous tips page, promising a reward in exchange for information on Grass\u2019s whereabouts. And then \u2026 we waited. It was not our worst morning after. In the sixties, for instance, after a Spring Revel, two rental pianos were left outside all night in the pouring rain and had to be replaced. Suffice to say it was not our most successful fundraising event.<\/p>\n<p>As for G\u00fcnter, we started to give him up for lost. We checked our tips page, but hot scoops weren\u2019t exactly pouring in. In fact, we\u2019d received precisely zero. Even a taunt from the thief would\u2019ve been welcome. Jeff paced the office, disconsolate, biting his knuckle.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine our surprise, then, when we arrived this morning to find a package from an out-of-state address. Inside was our purloined portrait\u2014along with two framed photos that, in all honesty, no one had noticed were missing. On a postcard of the Chicago skyline, the penitent partygoer had written a note in block capitals:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><small>NO IDEA STAYS PURE.<br \/>\nEVEN THE FLOWERING OF ART ISN\u2019T PURE.<br \/>\nAND THE SUN HAS SPOTS.<br \/>\nALL GENIUSES MENSTRUATE.<br \/>\nON SORROW FLOATS LAUGHTER.<br \/>\nIN THE HEART OF ROARING LURKS SILENCE.<br \/>\nSORRY FOR PURLOINING YOUR PICTURES.<br \/>\n\u2014G\u00dcNTER GRASS, 2017.<\/small><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These lines, with the exception of the last, are from Grass\u2019s <em>Dog Years.<\/em>\u00a0An uncharitable reader might point out that they constitute another act of theft. But I\u2019m not that reader. Instead, the <em>Review\u00a0<\/em>salutes this \u201cGrass\u201d for doing the right thing and accepts his apology. From now on, like a cheap motel, we\u2019re nailing the pictures down.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Dan Piepenbring is the web editor of <\/em>The Paris Review.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Paris Review is renowned for our parties, and we take pride in that. But sometimes things get carried away. 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