{"id":101557,"date":"2016-08-16T14:00:03","date_gmt":"2016-08-16T18:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/?p=101557"},"modified":"2016-08-16T12:59:33","modified_gmt":"2016-08-16T16:59:33","slug":"the-big-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/","title":{"rendered":"The Big <I>I<\/i>"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Chasing Amy\u00a0<em>and the toxic\u00a0\u201cnerd masculinity\u201d of the nineties.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_101562\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-101562\" class=\"wp-image-101562\" src=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900.jpg\" width=\"600\" height=\"330\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900-300x165.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900-768x422.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900-1024x563.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 62.5em) 67vw, 100vw\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-101562\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Still from <i>Chasing Amy<\/i>, 1997.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kevin Smith\u2019s romantic comedy <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0118842\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chasing Amy<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, now almost two decades old, was a big deal for my generation of nerds. Back in 1997, all of our dorky interests, from comic books to video games, <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.vice.com\/en_uk\/read\/on-the-irrationality-of-freedom-force-gamings-forgotten-superhero-series-145\">remained hidden<\/a>,<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> far from the prying eyes of the American mainstream. To us, the unapologetic <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=fanboy\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fanboy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Smith had emerged as something of a nerd culture Shakespeare\u2014the best of us, a man who captured our hopes and dreams in his character\u2019s lengthy, pop culture\u2013laced monologues. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chasing Amy<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, which concerned sensitive-yet-sleazy Ben Affleck\u2019s pursuit of the bisexual comic-book artist Joey Lauren Adams, constituted Smith\u2019s first serious attempt to tell a meaningful dramatic story against the backdrop of the geek demimonde he\u2019d explored in his previous slacker comedies <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0109445\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Clerks<\/span><\/i><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0113749\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mallrats<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. We were supposed to identify with (or at least pity) Affleck\u2019s comic-book penciler Holden McNeil as he tried to come to terms with Adams\u2019 sexual history, which involved group sex and gay sex and all sorts of other activities alien to his own heteronormative experience. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chasing Amy<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> was always an uncomfortable movie, a film that encapsulated the worst aspects of narcissistic <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thedailybeast.com\/articles\/2014\/05\/27\/your-princess-is-in-another-castle-misogyny-entitlement-and-nerds.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nerd entitlement<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> at its late-nineties peak, but twenty years later I couldn\u2019t even bring myself to finish rewatching it. When it was released, I begged my father to drive me to Raleigh\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/ambassadorcinemas.com\/the-rialto\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rialto Theatre<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0and left that first showing enraptured, believing that some aspect of my privileged nerdy male \u201cstruggle\u201d had been set to film. Kevin Smith was the first director whose <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailyscript.com\/scripts\/chasing_amy.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">scripts I had ever read<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">; before I\u2019d encountered his work, I hadn\u2019t ever considered the form. It helped that Smith was such a dreadful cinematographer, <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/splitsider.com\/2014\/03\/applying-the-auteur-theory-to-kevin-smith\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a fact he admits without shame<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, because it meant his movies were the equivalent of ninety-minute script readings. Yet why, in the course of dreaming about becoming a \u201cHollywood writer\u201d\u2014whatever that meant\u2014had I lingered over this material? How had it ever resonated with anyone at all, myself included? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The answer was simple but painful: I was one of those stereotypical \u201cguys who liked movies,\u201d and I was stupid.\u00a0<\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">* <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Throughout the nineties, TBS used the tagline \u201c<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/cgi.superstation.com\/movies\/mfgwlm\/sci-fi\/index.htm\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Movies for Guys Who Like Movies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d to promote a schedule consisting of boneheaded action fare such as <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0105698\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Universal Soldier<\/span><\/i><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0095963\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Red Heat<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The testosterone-drenched \u201cguy movie,\u201d which exists as the obverse to the \u201cchick flick,\u201d has supposedly yielded a number of masterpieces. The late-seventies frat comedy <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Animal House<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, set in the simpler America of the pre-Vietnam sixties, is considered chief among the humorous \u201cguy movies\u201d; it transformed <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q7vtWB4owdE\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">wild-man supporting-player John Belushi<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> into a box-office star and milked prison rape and necrophilia gags for all they were worth. People like my brother remembered that movie as some kind of great milestone in cinematic history, a gross-out opus that launched a thousand <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0084522\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">subsequent tales of the old homosocial order<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: panty raids and hazing initiations generously surrounded by\u00a0memorable quotes (<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thank you, sir! May I have another?<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">) that could be substituted for punch lines in awkward real-life social situations. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my na\u00efvet\u00e9, I assumed that Kevin Smith\u2019s work, which premiered in art-house theaters and looked like it was shot on a VHS recorder, was somehow more elevated than the campy <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Cannon_Group,_Inc.\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cannon Films<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cguy movie\u201d dreck so beloved by my father and older brother. There was a self-awareness to it, a wink at the audience: \u201cHey man, you know about these neat things, so we\u2019re in on this together!\u201d Men have long fancied themselves spelunkers of the unknown, roaming the caves of the underground so that they can be the first to force potential romantic partners to sit through ten hours of <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.hbo.com\/the-wire\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Wire<\/span><\/i><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or a bunch of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xiorncOFpcg\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Captain Beefheart LPs<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Smith, like a lot of other <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=awY1MRlMKMc\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">almost-famous 1990s male artists<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and entertainers, piled on the references to win us over\u2014and his attempts had the same hard-sell, look-at-me quality that Holden McNeil used to temporarily win Joey Lauren Adams\u2019s affection. Wasn\u2019t it all so smart, so important, so precious? And when Smith, playing his trench coat\u2013clad \u201cSilent Bob\u201d character, opens his mouth to deliver <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=FlYZnd7dEPw\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the payoff \u201cChasing Amy\u201d monologue<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to a disconsolate McNeil, we\u2019re quite literally listening to the author demand that we acknowledge he\u2019s an auteur. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a piano tinkles in the background to underscore the gravity of what he\u2019s saying, Silent Bob explains that he shouldn\u2019t have reacted to the knowledge that his then-girlfriend had a threesome by calling her a \u201cslut\u201d and dumping her, but instead should have understood she \u201cwasn\u2019t that girl anymore\u201d and was now \u201clooking for the Bob.\u201d This condescending realization is intended as an indication of broad-mindedness, letting sensitive, insecure men like Holden McNeil know that it\u2019s okay to date girls who are more sexually experienced than they are. By the time Smith utters the titular line\u2014\u201cso I\u2019ve spent every day since then chasing Amy, so to speak\u201d\u2014it\u2019s obvious that his speech is male-oriented 1990s pop culture in microcosm. In the era just before the explosive growth of the Internet <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Identity_politics\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">enabled individuals whose voices had long gone unheard<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to engage in a much wider conversation, we witnessed the last gasp of the \u201cBig I,\u201d the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/theawl.com\/the-last-days-of-the-boy-masterminds-bf23daf59c78#.vdsk0wb4v\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lone male mastermind<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> who lured us back into his apartment and then demanded that we inspect his carefully curated collections of cultural ephemera, whereupon we would inform him what a thoughtful guy he is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For many years, this was what I assumed masculinity, particularly nerd masculinity, was all about. Like Steve Buscemi\u2019s seventy-eight-rpm record-collector <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=42q43uJ9xxY\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seymour in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ghost World<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the true alpha nerd hunkered down in his rat hole of an apartment amidst a gilded gallery of material\u2014references to drop, recommendations to make\u2014and awaited the right moment to sweep some unwitting stranger off their feet. \u201cI\u2019ve never met anybody like you,\u201d we all hoped our partners would tell us, even if that foreshadowed a bittersweet conclusion when we were informed that we were \u201ctoo much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I ruined several romantic relationships in precisely this fashion. In each case, I wanted someone to tell me how brilliant and sensitive I was, how deserving of love I had made myself. I wasn\u2019t like my emotionally distant grandfathers, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MoustacheClubUS\/status\/708114151223250944\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">one of whom<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> could barely even speak English. Unlike those two shell-shocked veterans of the \u201c<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Greatest_Generation\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Greatest Generation<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,\u201d I had a million sweet nothings to say, and I only needed a best friend\/romantic partner who would willingly listen to them all. I would save them from a life spent with some <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/img.photobucket.com\/albums\/v98\/speedyboris\/renandstimpy\/lair02-300x228_zps6593918b.jpg\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">uncommunicative lummox<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and they would rescue me from my parents\u2019 basement. This is, of course, an unacceptable burden to place on someone else, and it invariably blew up in my face\u2014though that was to be expected, maybe even desired, because it demonstrated that no one <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/quotes\/862221-he-felt-the-guilt-of-inaction-of-simply-waiting-while\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">deserved the gift of my life<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When it did, I turned to the melancholy music I thought provided the sound track to <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0108872\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">my so-called life<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe were good as married in my mind \/ But married in my mind\u2019s no good,\u201d laments Rivers Cuomo on the Weezer ballad \u201c<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/genius.com\/1744230\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pink Triangle<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,\u201d which the eighteen-year-old model of myself once saw as profoundly affecting. Like <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chasing Amy<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the song explores a relationship, in this case a totally hypothetical one with an inaccessible woman, doomed by the unbridgeable chasm of sexual preference. Cuomo, who elsewhere in the tune hints at having also engaged in same-sex relations, whinges about how this particular <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.salon.com\/2014\/07\/15\/im_sorry_for_coining_the_phrase_manic_pixie_dream_girl\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">manic pixie dream girl<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can\u2019t bring herself to \u201cbe a little straight\u201d for his sake. (Affleck\u2019s Holden, interestingly enough, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Pe7G8iCN_nM\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">orders his best friend Banky to have sex with him<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as a way of saving their relationship, then French kisses him.) Such empty-gesture moaning was familiar territory for the Weezer frontman, who won a sizeable audience by pairing \u201cBig I\u201d pretensions with simplistic chord progressions and then packaging that work in memorable <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spike Jonze<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.vevo.com\/watch\/weezer\/hash-pipe\/USIV20110013\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marcos Siega<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> music videos. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">More to the point, Cuomo\u2019s lachrymose lyrics offer insight into the psychological terrors at the heart of this kind of \u201cBig I\u201d work. Far from being the dashed-off musings of an insouciant mastermind, a song like \u201cPink Triangle\u201d is actually an admission by the artist that he is terrified by the possibly that <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">he doesn\u2019t matter<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The narrator confesses that this very meaningful-sounding relationship is a complete fiction, that his own heterosexuality (which he hopes his dream girl will embrace!) is itself suspect, and that his deepest desire isn\u2019t so much dating her but planning his wedding, floral arrangements and all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fin de si\u00e8cle <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nerd masculinity was so pushy and demanding\u2014look at how awesome I am!\u2014because, deep down, its practitioners were panicked and insecure. This kind of full-court press, all hipster Cyrano speeches and slick presentation, was analogous to <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/quod.lib.umich.edu\/m\/mqrarchive\/act2080.0032.004?node=act2080.0032.004:3&amp;view=text&amp;seq=90&amp;size=100\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">bodybuilders hiding their inner weakness behind a wall of hypertrophied muscle<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: ditch the packaging, they worry, and their admirers will ditch them. The self floats on the surface; nothing lies beneath.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some of this material is better than the rest, albeit no less problematic. <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/tetw.org\/David_Foster_Wallace\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">David Foster Wallace\u2019s writing<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, for example, is overstuffed and show-offy, but the narrator is so distant and so brilliant that he doesn\u2019t appear to want our affirmation (even if he so desperately does, because he recognizes, as in his lauded short story \u201cGood Old Neon,\u201d <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/stanford.edu\/~sdmiller\/octo\/good-old-neon\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how empty the life of a lonely genius is<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">). Quentin Tarantino\u2019s movies about movies are open to charges of <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.rogerebert.com\/balder-and-dash\/hipster-misogyny-the-betrayal-of-the-hateful-eight\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">misogyny and racial insensitivity<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but they appear to exist in a parallel universe that has nothing in common with this one except spaghetti westerns and blaxploitation flicks. Even so, it seemed there was no end to this generation of <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gilbertandsullivanarchive.org\/patience\/webop\/pat06.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">singularly deep young men<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> each of whom appeared hell-bent on forcing us to operate with blown minds and broken hearts. Some were more accomplished than others, but each positioned himself as a sensitive artist desperate to be told how clever he was.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the passing of time is neutral, and pieces praising generations of rising stars eventually yield to postmortems recapping what the heck actually happened. Such is the epilogue to <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chasing Amy<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: after Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams have their final <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Meet_cute\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">meet-not-so-cute<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Adams\u2019s new girlfriend asks her who Affleck is. \u201cOh, just some guy I knew,\u201d she replies. The same could be said of who I was\u2014who many of us were\u2014during this turbulent transitional period just before crowd-pleasing filmmakers such as Christopher Nolan and J. J. Abrams fused nerd and mass culture into one all-encompassing monoculture, forcing privileged nerds to concede their private spaces to a larger and more diverse public now interested in that formerly \u201cunderground\u201d material. Kevin Smith is still around, making <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0873886\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">small and forgettable horror movies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on the Hollywood periphery, but his moment in the semi-spotlight has passed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He did get pretty close to the big time, though. Once the stuff of fanboy dreams, Smith\u2019s unproduced <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.script-o-rama.com\/movie_scripts\/superman-lives-script.html\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Superman Lives <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">script<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> continues to float around the Internet. It was commissioned by Warner Brothers in 1997, at the height of the writer\/director\u2019s fame, and now seems small and quaint by the standards of today\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.vice.com\/read\/violent-video-games-are-better-for-us-than-bloodless-blockbuster-movies-751\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">bloated by-the-numbers Marvel Studios blockbusters<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. One scene, however, warrants mention: after dealing with the threat posed to Earth by a rebuilt Brainiac, Superman turns to Lois Lane and quips, \u201cFrom now on, I\u2019m going to be more man than Super.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s keen if slightly vague advice for all of these <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/theawl.com\/the-last-days-of-the-boy-masterminds-bf23daf59c78#.7h9lgfczh\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nerdy masterminds<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, so eager to impress by behaving like someone they aren\u2019t in order to prevent others from learning who they actually are. Such masculine panic and posturing ultimately comes to naught, because it turns out nobody else is searching for that underlying reality and we\u2019re only deceiving ourselves. Acknowledging this truth by replacing the entitled attitude of the know-it-all indie nerd with candor and genuine vulnerability is a tall order, but it seems like a necessary step for improving relationships with friends and romantic partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.oliverbateman.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Oliver Bateman<\/a> is a historian and journalist who lives in Pittsburgh.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chasing Amy\u00a0and the toxic\u00a0\u201cnerd masculinity\u201d of the nineties.\u00a0 Kevin Smith\u2019s romantic comedy Chasing Amy, now almost two decades old, was a big deal for my generation of nerds. Back in 1997, all of our dorky interests, from comic books to video games, remained hidden, far from the prying eyes of the American mainstream. To us, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1034,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[419],"tags":[16426,5995,23948,154,11058,1125,23949,23947,12612,662,23952,23950,10595,2832,23953,3988,17342,23955,23951,10401,23954,3270],"class_list":["post-101557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-culture","tag-1990s","tag-ben-affleck","tag-chasing-amy","tag-david-foster-wallace","tag-genius","tag-ghost-world","tag-indie-culture","tag-kevin-smith","tag-masculinity","tag-men","tag-movies-for-guys-who-like-movies","tag-nerd-culture","tag-nerds","tag-quentin-tarantino","tag-rivers-cuomo","tag-romance","tag-selfishness","tag-steve-buscemi","tag-tbs","tag-the-nineties","tag-toxic-masculinity","tag-weezer"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v25.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>\u2018Chasing Amy\u2019 and the Toxic \u201cNerd Masculinity\u201d of the 90s<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Oliver Lee Bateman remembers the sexist, self-aggrandizing nerds of the nineties, too busy heralding themselves as geniuses to bother being real men.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Big I by Oliver Lee Bateman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"August 16, 2016 \u2013 Chasing Amy\u00a0and the toxic\u00a0\u201cnerd masculinity\u201d of the nineties.\u00a0Kevin Smith\u2019s romantic comedy Chasing Amy, now almost two decades old, was a big deal for my\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Paris Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/parisreview\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-08-16T18:00:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"879\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Oliver Lee Bateman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@parisreview\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Oliver Lee Bateman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Oliver Lee Bateman\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/cc866ffcb9e685c482d46989fd59fcc9\"},\"headline\":\"The Big I\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-08-16T18:00:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/\"},\"wordCount\":2037,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/2016\/08\/16\/the-big-i\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.theparisreview.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/chasing-amy-51_1600x900.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"1990s\",\"Ben Affleck\",\"Chasing Amy\",\"David Foster Wallace\",\"genius\",\"Ghost World\",\"indie culture\",\"Kevin Smith\",\"masculinity\",\"men\",\"Movies for Guys Who Like Movies\",\"nerd culture\",\"nerds\",\"Quentin Tarantino\",\"Rivers Cuomo\",\"romance\",\"selfishness\",\"Steve Buscemi\",\"TBS\",\"The nineties\",\"toxic masculinity\",\"Weezer\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Arts &amp; 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